Chapter 262: Chapter no 92
Searching desperately for Zariah, his mind ceased functioning without her, he knew he must find her.
However she was, when she was before his sight, he was relieved and her vanishing rendering his whole ability to fathom.
Losing his breath, he checked all the places and stopped at their apartment as a last attempt on finding her.
“Zariah?!”
Entering the place, his booming resonance echoed in the empty place, distress gleaming, seeking the one he needed.
“Zari?!”
“Zar-”
Slamming the door opened of their room, she saw a sleepy Zariah who forced her eyes to open and greet the perturbed man before her.
“Hmm?”
Panicking, he rushed to her, “Don’t ‘hmm’ me!”
“What the hell are you doing here?! Why did you disappear without telling me?!”
“I.. uh.. I..”
“You what!? Do you have any idea how worried I was!? What if you need me and I am not there?!”
Scowling, he grabbed her arms, observing her body worriedly, unstable breaths, needy eyes, gripping onto her firmly.
Removing his hands softly from hers, she sat on the bed. Her fingers held the sheets distressfully, gritting her teeth.
“I thought you don’t want to see me… that seeing me is hurting you and I don’t want to hurt you anymore,”
“What?”
Gloom coated her voice, afraid to capture coldness in those eyes, she found herself in a darkness where the hand of her beloved was absent.
“And I thought about it a lot. That is why…”
And it was too hard to move further without his companionship so she decided to force comprehension in his mind.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the drawer and slammed the gun in his hand.
Staggered, his eyes widened, hands losing strength when she pointed it at her heart.
“Why don’t you make us equal?”
To her serious enunciation, he found his mind becoming numb. Throat drying along with a deadly shiver which purloined his senses.
His eyes stopped at the gun at her heart and back at her face as unknowingly tears began to brim at the terrible state.
“Did-” He gulped apprehensively, “Did you feel the same powerlessness?”
She nodded unwaveringly, “Yes, since the beginning, each time I pointed my gun at you. I felt exactly like this,”
“Oh my God…”
Gasping, his body quivered tremendously when he apprehend how agonizing it must be for her, steps retreating.
“I had no idea… it would be this hard.”
Clutching his chest, he lowered the gun, unable to point at her. Dread and pain blended, hairs falling on his forehead as an indication of his strain.
“Back then… with Alice.. I took the gun… I thought that I would be able to shoot… I was so damn determined as well but… it was ‘that’ hard?”
“I thought the same too, I was determined too but look at me, was I able to do it? I failed every time so let’s reverse the roles,” She growled, hitting his chest to drag him back to reality.
Slamming the gun back in his hands, she pressed her forehead against him, a dark smirk lingering on her lips, provoking him.
“Do it,”
A tear rolled down his cheek, shaking his head in denial, a fragile whispering was released, “No…”
“You can’t do it, you know why?”
Failing to aim let alone to shoot and reflecting the same malice he once did, she declared the undeniable truth.
“Because ‘you’ are a worshiper of ‘my’ existence,”
“No, no, stop it…”
“Why don’t you try to pull the trigger and end this ordeal?”
“Shut up!”
Throwing the gun away when she indirectly showed him how harsh it was. When forced to follow the same trails, he was absolutely vulnerable.
His body reacted instinctively, wrapping his arms around her, embracing her firmly, kissing the top of her head.
Hands icy only by the imagination of pulling the trigger, refusing to release her.
“I am sorry, I am so sorry for provoking you to kill me in the first place, my love,”
Whispering worriedly, his hands encased her body without any intention of letting go.
Eyes widened, a horror glistening as she continued, “Do you understand now why I always pointed my gun at you but never pulled the trigger?”
“Why did I stupidly give De Villiers but never intended to kill him? And tried to save him?”
“Yes, yes, I understand now…”
Shutting his eyes, his grip on her tightened, voice restricting around his throat to stop testing his barely existing limits.
He was already tired and depressed and her pushing him towards the limit just to experience what she once did caused a rampage.
“I have no idea it would be this hard, I am sorry for making you go through this,”
“Do you get it now!? Pointing is fucking easy pulling the damn trigger isn’t!” She yelled.
Hitting his chest, ripping them apart with tears gleaming in her eyes.
“I am sorry, I am so sorry, I didn’t realize…”
“And I swear, If I had known about Alice, I would have declined my father too even when I was hypnotized to be his perfect creations,”
Clutching his shirt, her voice slumped in sorrow, praying he would understand and stop being infuriated.
“Because I fucking can’t hurt you or the ones you love! Nothing tops you, Nathaniel! No one is more important than you! I love you-”
Before she could shatter in a sob as an expression of her anguish, his fingers raked in her hair, unable to hear her sobbing and crashed his lips on hers.