Chapter 68: Chapter sixty eight

Arielle

Dan had eventually gone to his room when he couldn't find someone to switch with.

Well, correction. He couldn't pick from all the students who wanted to switch with rooms with him when they heard who his roommate was. When Ms Brown returned and found everyone in the lobby, she'd ushered us all to our room and insisted on the “no switching rooms” rule. She didn't listen to any of our pleas.

Dan left shortly after, grumbling about how much he loathes this trip and the counselor's stupid rule. I had teased him about sleeping in the lobby instead and he'd seem to consider it. He ended up convincing himself that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

As I stood in front of my assigned room, a part of me considered taking my own advice and spending the night in the lobby. There were so many things I wanted to tell Natalie, but I didn't expect it to be so soon.

Natalie and I were bound to butt heads during this trip. If we did, it would make the conversation even harder to have. And I couldn't tell her tonight, not when I wasn't mentally prepared.

I twisted the door knob and pushed the door opened. Natalie was unpacking her clothes from her suitcase when I entered. She didn't turn to me but her body tensed, the only indication that she wasn't as unbothered as she pretended to be.

I set my bag on the other vacant bed, kicked off my shoes, and sank in it. The room was quiet, too quiet, as both of us pretended the other wasn't in the room. I pulled my phone from my backpack and aimlessly scrolled through social media.

The truth I had carried since I caught our parents together sat heavily on my chest. I glanced at her to see she was done unpacking. She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at me, she quickly averted her gaze when I looked. I got the distinct feeling I wasn't the only one with a damning secret to share.

“Do you have something to say?” I asked.

Her lips parted but she seem to reconsider and shook her head. I sat straight on my bed.

“Listen, I'm sorry for my insinuation in the hallway. I didn't mean for my words to come out the way they did.”

She gave me a tight smile and nodded stifly. Another wave of awkward silence settled between us. I was about to grab my phone and continue my aimless social media scrolling when she said,

“Are you going to Troy's party? I heard they managed to sneak some booze in.”

My brows drew together. Leave it to Diamond High students to start a party less than an hour after they checked into a hotel during a school trip.

I shook my head. “I'm exhausted. I think I'll stay in tonight. Maybe tomorrow night.”

Natalie nodded.

I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself. For some reasons, I didn't want the conversation to end just yet. This was the first time in years that we had sat in a confined space with no one present and hadn't tried to kill each other. I was enjoying it, even if it had been awkward at first.

“Are you going?”

“Nah, Troy's parties aren't as fun as they used to be. During the last one, he jumped into the pool with his clothes just to create some excitement. It was horrible.” She shook her head, chuckling.

I echoed the sound. Troy's disaster party had happened when I was in the hospital, but I had read about it in our class group. He had been trying to erase the stain on his reputation ever since.

The silence that followed our shared laughter was less tense, and I was glad of it. We've been at each other's throat for so long that having a normal conversation felt so off.

“I switched our roommates.” She said suddenly.

I blinked, surprised by her revelation. “What?”

She sat straighter on her bed, her lips drawn together to hide the slight quiver.

“I edited the documents after Ms Brown sent it to me and put us in the same room.”

I stared at her, a stunned expression on my face. I didn't know how to react to her confession. Everything began to make sense. Why she didn't question me when I sat beside her on the bus, why she hadn't seen shocked about the room pairing, and why she was hurt when I protested against it.

“Why?” I asked. Natalie didn't like me. And even if she had begun to have a change of heart, it didn't explain why she constantly try to get us together.

“Because I…” she clasped her hand together. She was nervous. “Because I don't want you to think I don't care about what's happening to you. Regardless of our differences, we're family. You were there for me when my father died, when even my mother wasn't there for me.” her lips pressed tight after those words.

“I just don't want you to feel…alone.”

Her eyes darted everywhere except to me. I opened my mouth to speak but she interrupted me, “Before you protest, I'm not pitying you. After the rooftop, I… I realized how alone you must have felt to go there of all places.”

I blinked as a realization snapped into place. That day, I had gone to the school's rooftop after Jack and Drayton's fight. I hadn't intend to go there, I had just known I didn't want to be alone.

Alone.

That was the word I always tried not to think about, because if I allowed myself fall down that hole, I was certain I would never be able to crawl out of it.

I could have sworn I saw that same yearning mirrored in my cousin's eyes. That feeling of not wanting to be alone. That day, I had felt betrayed by Drayton, the one person who had seem to understand what I was going through. I wondered what Natalie must be going through to have that distinct emotion in her eyes.

My heart raced in anticipation as I stood up from my bed and strode towards hers. I didn't tell her what I had intended to, I just sat beside her and took her hand in mine.

Neither of us spoke. We just held each other after years and years of rivalry, years of our parents pitting us against each other.

“I’m sorry, Arielle. For everything. I just… I don't hate you. I really don't. But…” Tears streaked down her cheeks, cutting off her words. But I didn't need her to complete it anyway.

“I know.” I said. “I'm sorry too. For everything.”

And then we just held each other and cried.