Chapter 27

After Ryder came back home, she was completely in a daze. What happened back in Aiden's house had left her muddled. Even though she didn't show it back then, or in the way home, for she was that kind of person who would be able to calmly react upon unexpected situations, like the night she first met Midnight proves, after everything was over and she was far away from the said situation, Ryder felt like her head would explode.

She opened the front door slowly as if she had no power left, which almost scared Henry shitless. The strong reactions her father had seemed to have brought her back to reality and Ryder stared at her worried parents. During her whole life, there were times when she would feel lucky to have them, but never had she felt it as strongly as now.

"I'm okay. I'm just tired." Ryder sighed and went upstairs in her room after giving both Henry and Michelle a warm smile that instead of putting them at ease, it worried them to death. Once Ryder was in her room, Henry turned to his wife to confirm if she was thinking what he was thinking. The "warm" smile Ryder just gave them was wrong in so many levels, it was normal for them to react in such way.

"Did she fight with Jasmine?” Henry asked.

"No way. Those two have never fought even once. The only time I have seen them fight was when Jasmine said that one of her favorite book characters was a pathetic weakling." Michelle was sure of this. Ryder and Jasmine couldn't even be called best friends. Their relationship was more than that, they were almost like sisters. Even though the two joked about how Jasmine had adopted Ryder, they both cared mutually the same for each other. How could a fight between them bring their daughter home in such a state?

Henry worried even more now. It would be better if it was a fight between Ryder and Jasmine, because he was sure by the time evening came, the two would have already made up. But now… "What if she met Grace and quarreled?”

Michelle also thought of this possibility; however, she shook her head. "If that happened, mother would already have called to scold me to teach her how to behave."

Henry pursed his lips in dissatisfaction upon hearing this. Then he suddenly got enlightened. "Maybe she had a fight with that boy."

This time Michelle didn't refute. Her dark brown eyes only glanced at the direction of her daughter's room and a frown occupied her lips. "Maybe…”

Back in her room, Ryder took off her clothes in slow moves and changed into her thick pajamas. She lied down on the bed with a sigh and her eyes focused on the ceiling as the daze from before returned and she got lost in her thoughts again.

It wasn't hard to guess why Aiden said what he said and why the others reacted the way they reacted. There was also what Jasmine had told her back in the gym. Putting one and one together, Ryder more or less had a grasp of why things exploded like that back there right on her face. The images of the fight she just witnessed overlapped with Jasmine's words and a splitting headache came out of nowhere leaving Ryder almost unable to keep her eyes open.

Jeremy punching Aiden while Jake kept staring, unable to move… it happened exactly how Jasmine described it back then, yet something didn't match up.

It was pretty clear that the death of Mrs. Caley had left a great impact on Jake and the young man still suffered from it. The fact that he had dropped out of school alone was enough to prove such thing. Yet it seems that Aiden was unhappy with such situation. But such unhappiness wasn't the kind a brother should have for his sibling. Judging by the way he talked and put his brother down, it was obvious that Aiden strongly detested Jake. What person would slander their own brother in such a way in front of outsiders, because back then Ryder truly was an outsider. And judging by the look of it, it couldn't have been the first time Jeremy and Aiden fought because of this.

Ryder knew Jasmine often fought with her brothers. She knew the three of them cursed and insulted, beat each other black and blue, but she also knew that they all would turn hell upside down for each other or break bones if anyone dared say a bad word for any of them. No matter how close Ryder and Jasmine were, Ryder knew one thing for sure, and that was that she had absolutely no right to insult her brothers. But Aiden? Aiden didn't even wait for Ryder to ask first. He didn't even care if Ryder wanted to know or not. He just simply spurted out things for his brother and even looked at Ryder with curiosity to watch her reaction. Ryder felt disgusted.

Back there she thought it strange and even a bit unacceptable for Jeremy to behave the way he did in Aiden's own house, but now she didn't blame him at all. The young man was more of a brother to Jake than Aiden could ever be. He didn't even hesitate to throw that punch.

The image of Jeremy fighting flashed in her mind and now Ryder felt regretful that she didn't even look at him the way back home. At least she should have said something… a few words… but she simply couldn't. The bloody knuckles entered her sight and any word she could have said stuck in her throat, choking her. Suddenly her thoughts drifted away, filling her with all sorts of sour and dark feelings…

Ryder sat up on the bed and stared at the wall in front of her for a few seconds before shaking her head. Her hands rubbed her face hard, turning it a rosy color. She stood up and decided to do the homework to keep herself busy until ten p.m. The mock exams were in her hands when she walked out of the house and she eventually ended up taking them with her, but Ryder had no desire to use even a brain cell for the competition. Luckily, she had the math teacher's number in her phone so she texted her a short message to let her know that she wasn't able to participate. She wasn't worried if she offended the teacher or not, for Ryder was sure that all this competition bullshit was Aiden's doing. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Ryder snorted and tore apart in small pieces the sheets of papers to vent her anger and threw them in the small bin next to her desk.

Time passed quickly as she allowed herself to be completely immersed into her homework. Even dinner was eaten in her room, which only kept Henry and Michelle worried but they were hesitant to ask her what happened. In the end, Henry couldn't bear it anymore and burst the door open, scaring Ryder off her chair.

"Tell dad who upset you and I shall duel him right now." Even though he asked, Henry was sure the boy who had grasped his daughter's attention was guilty for her bad mood today.

The time it took Henry to snap was more than enough for Ryder to collect herself and calm her thoughts, so when he asked such question, Ryder was able to give a sincere smile at her silly father that was more like a big baby trying to play houses. For some reason Jeremy coaxing little Leah came in mind, and Ryder could help but compare the two fathers and find it amusing.

“I'm fine. Who would dare upset me?” Ryder said smiling.

Seeing that she finally looked normal, Henry calmed down. "You're right. No one dares to upset you. Just tell them your father has a sword. That's right. Dad will hurt whoever hurts you." He said seriously then he nodded as if to approve of what he just said. Proud of himself for managing to coax his daughter, Henry was finally in a good mood and was about to walk out of the room but was stopped by Ryder's words.

"Will you really fight him, if I bring a boy home?”

"You're dating now?” Henry's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief. The single status of his baby went out of the window just like that. Suddenly he felt like sobbing. This was so unfair. Just yesterday she was still in her diapers, running around with a screwdriver in her hands, scaring the shit out of him.

The smile on Ryder's lips didn't fade the tiniest bit. "Nope."

"Aah! You want me to die. I know it. You want me to die of heart attack. Why are you asking your old man such question you despicable child? Ash my heart! I'm going to polish my sword."

He didn't even answer the question before leaving, closing the door behind him. Ryder stared at it and shrugged. At least he closed the door.

That night Ryder didn't wait for Midnight in her room. She waited until her parents closed the door of their bedroom. Once the soft sound of the door closing was heard, she grabbed her coat, put on her slipper boots and as quietly as possible, walked out in the garden.

It was quite cold outside since it was mid-winter. Even though the air was cold and the wind blowing seemed to have the power to make one's ears and nose fall off, it rarely snowed. However tonight was different. Ryder didn't know when it had started snowing, but when she walked out in the garden snowflakes fell on her nose and cheeks and melted immediately almost as if they were tiny cold kisses sent by the wind. Even though the delicate snowflakes melted the second they touched the ground, the scenery was still beautiful. Maybe because of the snow, the usually dark sky had taken a soft purplish hue and it was brighter than usually. Ryder sat on the wooden swing seat and stared at the falling snow in a daze. The swing seat swayed gently, almost in harmony with the swaying of the snowflakes in the wind.

Soft and hesitant footsteps sounded from behind the fence. The warm cognac eyes looked away from the cold snow and fell at a certain someone who was walking towards the fence. She saw Midnight approaching the fence with hesitant steps before jumping over it. He stopped to look up at the window of her room. The light was left on, but he was biting his lip, nervously standing in front of the fence for a few minutes, not daring to go any closer.

Midnight hadn't noticed Ryder in the swing seat. He was battling himself, not knowing if he should go in her room or just leave. His cold hands were trembling slightly and the lip hurt from all the biting, yet he didn't want to stay and didn't want to leave. In the end, Midnight simply remained frozen in place.

Seeing him not having any intentions of coming to meet her, Ryder could only smile sadly. She raised her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, before speaking. "Aren't you going to see me tonight?”

The voice was low and tender, but it broke the silence of the night and echoed in Midnight's head. He finally noticed Ryder sitting on the swing seat, hugging her knees. He unconsciously tensed and took a step back, but his back hit the fence. Maybe it was because he didn't expect Ryder to be out here or maybe it was because of the thoughts and speculations that felt like a hand squeezing his heart, but his knees went soft and Midnight fell on the ground.

His teeth bit deep in his lip, but tears welled up in his eyes and flowed down his cheeks involuntarily. For a moment it was like they were back at the first night they met.

One girl.

One boy.

One staring.

One crying.

Both frozen in time.

Both looking at each other in disbelief.

And just like back then, the crying young man broke the silence with the same two words.

"I'm sorry."

Ryder felt her chest tightened. Her heart hurt with every heartbeat and air burned as it filled her lungs. Those two words were enough to make her soul bleed.

Midnight rose his knees to his chest and hid his face behind the arms that hugged them. His shoulders trembled as the silently flowing tears turned into soft sobs. "I'm sorry. I… I didn't want to… I… I was scared… and didn't know what to do… I couldn't sleep… and it hurt… it hurt too much…” The tears washed his face, rolling down uncontrollably. His whole body shook and Midnight wasn't sure what he was even saying anymore. He just cried and allowed himself to drown in his own tears. He was so lost in the sudden pain, that he didn't feel Ryder approaching him, until two warm hands cupped his cold cheeks, spreading warmth on his skin that always was like a thin surface of ice. His body flinched under the touch, shaking violently, yet his soul and tears froze.

Ryder lifted his face and slowly took the hood off his face before wiping the tears of his cheeks tenderly. There was a sad smile on her lips when she kissed the forehead of the young man softly.

"Jake."

The young man flinched again when he heard the name, but didn't say anything.

"It's okay. Don't cry."

Hearing those four words, something that had been frozen for years melted instantly and it felt like a stone he had been holding in his heart for so long, finally dropped and he could breathe again. New tears rolled down his cheeks, wetting Ryder's hands.

"I'm sorry." Jake muttered still trembling.

Such sight pained Ryder beyond words. She hugged his neck, her hand soothing his hair. Her voice was low and soft as she whispered in his ear.

"It's okay."

"I saw her die… I couldn't sleep… I didn't want to… I don't want to lose you…”

Ryder leaned back and wiped his tears off again. "You won't lose me." Her thumb rubbed his cheek as she smiled. "You will never lose me." And to prove her words, Ryder pressed her lips against Jake's. The kiss was short and soft. It was salty because of the tears but the aftertaste of it was sweet and warmed Jake from inside.

He was stunned. Jake never expected for things to go this way. Earlier today when he saw Ryder in his house, his first reaction was to be surprised. Then embarrassed. The state he was in wasn't the ideal one. He had been playing with Leah the whole day, allowing her to do as she pleased. How could he know Ryder would appear out of nowhere? Then he realized that she had heard his voice. There was no doubt that Ryder understood immediately who he was. His face turned pale. The time when he would tell her who he was would eventually come. Jake had already made up his mind about that. But he didn't expect for it to happen in such way.

As if all this wasn't enough to make him bury himself in a hole and die there, his brother chose that exact moment to resent him. In less than a minute the world collapsed on his head, and he couldn't even react anymore.

It wasn't the first time Aiden behaved in such a childish way. It was almost as if he wanted everyone to hate the weak and broken big brother he was. However, this time was different. Jake knew. This time nothing was a coincidence, it was an act of pure hatred.

When Jake saw Ryder waiting for him in the garden, he almost fell apart on spot. A bone shaking fear swallowed him whole. He thought she would drive him away; she wouldn't accept him now that she knew who he was. Yet…

"You… you don't hate me?” Jake asked, not quite believing this situation. His Ry can't be so good to accept him right away, right? How can she be so good to him?

Ryder pecked his lips again. She shook her head with a faint smile lingering on her soft lips. "I don't hate you. I like you so so so much."

Jake stared at her for a moment, taking in all this information. He looked at her, at the snow that landed on her hair and melted against his skin. For some reason he felt like crying again. If this was a dream his mind made up out of desperation, he didn't want to wake up. Jake wrapped his arms around Ryder's waist and buried his face in her neck. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but was afraid that it would scare her away. In the end he didn't say anything nor did Ryder expected him to say. She knew he felt the same way like her. She didn't need him to say it.

After hugging for a few minutes like that, Ryder chuckled as something occurred to her, her cheeks flushing a rosy color.

"Did you wash the hearts and rainbows from your chest?”

Jake, “…”