Chapter 14: How to Be Sick 101

Upon seeing that she had arrived one hour later than the usual time she and Midnight meet, Ryder had fallen in a depressed phase, wanting to curse but didn't know who to blame and to whom her curses should be directed to. If only she had arrived an hour earlier... if only the tow truck didn't take so long... if only the car didn't break down... Ryder even wished she had never agreed on going out with Aiden, but when she remembered the bad mood, the young boy had been throughout the whole week, she just sighed in defeat and hated herself for having such thoughts.

But she couldn't help it. Every time she imagined Midnight looking for her from behind the fence, waiting for her to pop out of nowhere as usually... holding the present he promised to give her tonight in his hands... seeing that she wasn't there, not a single light on in the backyard... her heart ached and felt like someone was squeezing it in their hands mercilessly. Did he have an umbrella with him or did he get wet? What if he gets sick?

Ryder was in such a gloomy mood, she almost cried right on spot. However, she steeled her heart, bit down on her lip and returned inside the house. Her parents had already gone in their room the moment they saw that Ryder came back, so all the lights were off except the lights on the hallway of the second floor. It was already too late, but Ryder didn't want to go to her room yet, so instead she went inside the kitchen and sat on the counter, letting out a long-dispirited sigh. The color of her eyes had turned dull as she stared in the darkness, her eyes unfocused. She stayed like that for a while, deep in thoughts but not thinking about anything at the same time. After a while the sound of footsteps snapped her out of that trance.

Ryder didn't move a muscle, didn't say anything, just waited for her father to come closer before talking. This, of course, didn't end up good.

Henry had come downstairs to get the cake he had bought for his wife's birthday. Since it was almost midnight, he planned to take the cake, call Ryder and then go back to his bedroom to surprise his Michelle. Henry was sure Ryder was in her room to change her clothes and dry her hair, seeing that she looked like a drenched cat, shivering and looking sad and pitiful when she came back home. How could he know that, not only she didn't go in her room at all, but she was also sitting melancholically alone in the kitchen in the dark?

So, when Henry entered the kitchen, trying to don't make any noises, and a voice called from his side, his response to "Why haven't you gone to sleep?” was a high-pitched scream. Poor Henry got so scared his face lost color of his face, his heart almost stopped at all and he jumped back, but unfortunately tripped over his own feet and fell on the floor on his ass. His eyes looked almost as if they would pop out of his skull as he stared at the dark shadow sitting by the counter.

The shadow moved suddenly and came closer to him and Henry was about to scream again when the lights of the kitchen turned on and the dark shadow, that demon… was Ryder?

“…”

"Dad are you okay?” Ryder rushed to her father, helping him up with a worried look on her face, but laughing her ass off in her heart. That's why we let mom check for thieves and ghosts.

Henry, who still had to come to his senses, became so angry when Ryder grabbed him by his arm that he forgot that his trip to kitchen was supposed to be on secret. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING GOING AROUND BEING A GHOST? WHY AREN'T YOU IN YOUR ROOM? WHY ARE YOU STILL DRENCHED?” Henry roared, throwing questions like a machine gun.

Ryder didn't know which question to answer first. She just stared at her father with a guilty look in her eyes. "I'm sorry I scared you."

Henry's face turned so red hearing this, he looked almost as if his face was smeared with red paint. "WHO GOT SCARED? YOU GOT SCARED. BRAT, YOU DARE OFFEND THIS OLD MAN LIKE THIS? I SERVED IN THE MILITARY!”

"Dad you were the cook there."

Henry blushed even more, but couldn't say anything in his defense. His mouth opened and closed, trying to come up with a good comeback but failed every time. In the end he just stomped his foot on the floor like a four-year-old kid and angrily agog-ed at Ryder.

Ryder almost lost control and burst into laughter, but bit the inside of her cheeks and looked at her feet to calm herself down.

Henry walked to the chair by the counter, holding his chest with his hand as if his heart would leap out of it anytime now, and sat down. "Take the cake from the fridge, it's behind the cheese."

Ryder nodded once and walked to the fridge. Meanwhile Henry stared at her back scowling, still angry for getting scared. "Why haven't you changed your clothes? You will get a cold."

Ryder's shoulders fell, as she puffed out a small sigh. "I was hungry… I just finished and was about to go upstairs when you came down." She lied through her teeth, cursing herself for it. How could she tell her father the truth?

"Go change and go in the backyard. Take the cake with you. Turn on the lights and wait for me to bring down your mother. It's almost midnight."

Ryder nodded once and rushed to her room. After changing back in her warm pajamas, she ran downstairs again, grabbed the cake and walked out in the garden. Her lips turned downwards as she stepped outside, feeling blue once again, but forced herself to swallow that feeling and smile. It's her mother's birthday… she shouldn't look sad in front of her.

When Michelle, after a lot of protests, was finally dragged outside in the backyard, but what she saw wasn't the backyard looking like a junkyard but a beautiful simple garden with green grass and vases of flowers. There was the stand hammock near the fence, and even a wooden swing seat (Henry bought it that morning and sneaked it in while Michelle was cooking dinner). Small lights circled the fence, casting a soft yellowish light and in the middle of this garden was her daughter holding a cake with a few lit candles on top of it.

Poor Michelle didn't know if she wanted to cry from joy of seeing the backyard being like this, or because her daughter and husband were the ones to made it like this. She just stared up and choked on her tears.

Very much touching. Much romantic and heartwarming.

It managed to improve Ryder's mood… kind of, but even that bit of improvement went out of the window when before she could go back to her room, Henry told her that tomorrow her aunts and uncles will come for lunch.

Ryder: Why must I suffer like this?

***

The next day, Ryder woke up like every weekend day… past noon. It was around two o'clock when she opened her eyes and groaned like a wounded animal when she heard several voices coming from downstairs.

They're already here.

The urge to go back to sleep was too big, but she needed to go downstairs, because just like Henry had warned her… she had caught a cold. She needed Advil. Her head felt like being repeatedly hit with a hammer, she had a sore throat, a runny nose and her body felt too weak to even breath. Was this punishment for being too late last night?

Ryder pouted under her warm blanket. Just then Henry knocked on the door and walked inside, not even waiting for a response… like parents usually do. Bah! At least he knocked…

"Come downstairs." Henry said as he sat on the edge of the bed. His voice though sounded a bit strange as if he wanted to say something, but was hesitating, not knowing when or how to say it.

"My head hurts." Ryder whined and pulled the blanket around her shoulders as she sat up.

Henry frowned and touched her forehead. The frown deepened immediately. "You're boiling hot. This is what you get for walking around the house with drenched clothes. You had to go out with that boy and have a romantic walk in the rain."

"Dad!” Ryder groaned.

"Okay, okay." Henry threw his hands in the air in a 'I surrender' manner. "Come downstairs and meet the others while I make you some chicken soup." He walked to the door, but before leaving, his steps came to a halt. "She's also here…”

Ryder paled upon hearing this but pulled herself together and kept a calm expression on her face.

"Your mother wanted to kick her out but your grandma was about to throw a fit so she had to remain silent."

Ryder nodded.

She didn't bother too much to make herself presentable in front of her relatives that had invaded her house. Instead, Ryder just brushed her teeth and still on pajamas, hair messy like a bird nest, went downstairs while yawning and groaning in pain. She's sick anyway. Besides she didn't feel the need to impress these people.

One of her aunts was the first to greet her, immediately followed by the rest. Since she woke up, Ryder felt that this cold was more of a blessing in disguise than a punishment for the first time. With the excuse of being sick, she avoided hugging and kissing the people that rushed to greet her. In the end her eyes met with hers.

Ryder fought the urge to sneer and completely ignored her cousin. She walked in the kitchen and grabbed the medicine her father had prepared for her.

"If you're not feeling too well just go back to your room." Michelle stroked her hair.

Just as Ryder was about to accept this generous offer, her grandma walked in the kitchen, waving the crane in the air. "We're all here and you tell her to go in her room? She barely sees any of us, meeting us only on holidays."

Judging by her tone, grandma Barbara was probably angry why she hadn't muttered even a single word to her cousin Grace. She was about to throw a fit again, and Ryder who already had a headache, didn't have the nerves to deal with it. "Mom was just saying it, she didn't mean it." Ryder said, cursing in the heart.

I'M SICK, OKAY? WHY SHOULD I GO THROUGH THIS IN SUCH A CONDITION?

Grandma Barbara calmed down and smiled sweetly at Ryder. "That's my niece. Be good and spend time with your relatives." She patted her cheeks twice before leaving the kitchen, but not without throwing the usual glare at Henry who by now had gotten used to it and just ignored her. As long as she didn't try to kill him, he was fine with the glares and insults.

After grandma Barbara left the kitchen Michelle whispered at Ryder. "Don't worry, honey. Mommy will send them off immediately after lunch."

That was comforting to know, but the time it took for her relatives to eat this lunch was enough to drive Ryder insane. She could barely stand, her eyes felt as if they were on fire, burning with every time she blinked. The only comfort Ryder had was that chicken soup in front of her as she tried to ignore all conversations around her.

But it seemed that even that was impossible.

"Ah!” Grandma Barbara sighed loudly as if half of her soul went out with that sigh. "I'm so old, with a foot in the grave. It pains me to see my sweet nieces fighting like this, not talking to each other. Do you want me to die of worry? Hurry up and make up."

Michelle and Henry who had been smiling and chatting happily, both froze, their expressions stiff and twisted. Their eyes turned a few shades darker as they looked at Grandma Barbara and Grace's mother, wanting to glare at them but afraid that it would turn things ugly.

Ryder just looked at her chicken soup, a bitter fire burning inside her, but her expression remained calm as a mocking smile spread on her lips. "I think I will pass." She said with her hoarse throat.

Grandma Barbara's pained look cracked, revealing annoyance and anger, making it pretty obvious that the "pain" she was feeling was just a mere pretense. "You think this is a game? Grace is your cousin. You're like sisters. You shouldn't be fighting like this. How is it logical to love that wild, good-for-nothing girl, but not even say hi to your cousin?”

Sitting next to her grandma, Grace was trying hard to keep a collected expression, even look a bit pitiful as if she was the victim, when all she wanted to do was to smirk at Ryder as if saying "See? Even now they're on my side."

That fire in her chest spread until her whole body felt as if engulfed by flames, yet Ryder calmly finished her soup, smacked her lips in satisfaction and only then did she look her grandma in the eyes.

"That "wild, good-for-nothing" girl didn't steal from the classmates and threw the blame on me, forcing me to change school’s midterm." Ryder said with a rather calm tone but under that tone everyone could hear the rage and pain of that bitter fire.

She and Grace had been together since kindergarten. The two were best friends, sharing secrets, having sleepovers. To Ryder she was her first and only friend. After all she had a somewhat asocial personality since then. Grace was the person she trusted the most, loved like a sister. Yet the last year of middle school this cousin of her got in troubles and in order to escape them through all the blame to Ryder. Who would the teachers believe? The asocial Ryder or the friendly Grace who was loved by students and teachers?

Such betrayal scarred Ryder deep in her heart. The only people who believed her were her parents. She felt so wronged, so pained and angry, she went from being somewhat asocial to being a total hermit who didn't want anyone to talk to her. Just like that she lost her best friend and the cousin she loved like a sister.

"I don't love people who use me and then throw me away like trash. I have more self-appreciation than that." With that Ryder stood up and threw a smile at Grace. The smile was so cold and emotionless, it sent shivers down Grace's spine who was boiling with anger a few seconds ago. "I'm going in my room. I'm too sick to listen to this again."

After two or three hours later, Michelle walked in her room, holding a plate with a piece of cake on it. She had a sad smile on her face as she walked over to Ryder who was lying on the bed. "I'm so sorry sweetie."

Ryder hugged her waist and smiled as she snuggled her nose in her mother's stomach. "It's okay. I'm sorry I ruined your birthday."

Michelle stroked her hair, sighing in her heart. "You didn't ruin it at all. You gifted me a garden and I got to eat cake. How can you call it ruined?” She handed the plate to Ryder an got up. "If you're feeling unwell, call me, okay?”

As Michelle closed the door after she left, Ryder felt like this weekend couldn't get any worse. Her heart felt heavy as it was for Midnight, but now she had to bear those sour and bitter feelings her cousin awakened.

This is definitely punishment. Ryder thought. Is it because I disappointed Midnight? But it's not like I did it on purpose.

Once again, Ryder wanted to cry, but blinked her tears away. The whole day passed like that, and before she could notice it, it had already turned dark outside. Turning on the light in her room, Ryder sat by the window, wrapped in blankets, shivering and coughing, but refused to move away from there.

Unlike her parents' room that was in the other side of the house, away from the backyard, the window of her room had the best view of the backyard. The lights around the fence were off, but the light from her room was casting enough light to make out the contents of the garden. Luckily there was also a full moon tonight that made things easier.

The cognac eyes were staring at the darkness behind the fence, at the spot where Midnight usually appeared. As she stared, she fell in deep thoughts, sighing and pouting with the flow of her thoughts, knowing well in her heart that Midnight wouldn't come. It was already almost eleven o'clock and he was nowhere to be seen.

Yet, just as she was about to give up and go back to her bed, her eyes caught movement from behind the fence, and sure enough, a dark figure appeared. Her heart hiccupped once when she saw Midnight, then it started to beat fast as if racing against time.

Without wasting time, Ryder opened the window and threw the closest thing to her to Midnight. It happened to be the small cushion she was leaning against. The cushion didn't even get close to Midnight and pitifully fell in the middle of the garden. Ryder almost screamed in frustration.

On the other side, Midnight who was feeling depressed upon seeing the lights of the garden turned off and Ryder nowhere to be seen again, widened his eyes in surprise when a round cushion fell from the sky and landed on the green grass of the garden, around ten feet away from him. Confused, with his heart beating faster with hope and expectations, Midnight looked up, only to see that the lights of the room in the second floor which always were off, this time were on and a girl was desperately waiving at him from there.

As much as confused he was, the depressed mood he had a few minutes ago dispersed and a smile spread on his face as he saw Ryder, even from afar. Just a mere glimpse of her and he felt as if all the heartache from last night didn't even happen.

Ryder was in the verge of tears, about to start a happy dance right then and there when she saw Midnight looking up at her.

He didn't leave. He saw me. He came back…

Not even thinking twice about it, Ryder motioned at him to come up. Midnight stared at her as if she had lost her mind.

Is she really asking me to go to her room? Won't her parents notice?

Ryder saw that Midnight wasn't moving and rolled her eyes in impatience. She pointed at the chair that was left to suffer in a corner of the garden, abandoned by Ryder since she cleaned the backyard off her junk. Then Ryder pointed at the terrace under her window that was used as a shelter from rain when Ryder worked on her projects on rainy days.

Even though a bit hesitantly, Midnight nodded and jumped over the fence. He took the chair and placed it one foot away from the edge of the terrace. Cursing under his breath, he hung there before, with much difficulty, managed to climb his way up the terrace.

Damn it. I knew I should have gone to the gym more; Midnight was regretting life choices.

He walked through the terrace to the opened window. Ryder wasn't there anymore and the light was off, making Midnight worry for a second thinking the Ryder asking him to come up here was just a wishful illusion. However, this worry was short-lived. As he got closer to the window, Ryder's soft voice whispered at him.

"Hurry up."

He didn't waste any more time and jumped inside the room. Before Midnight could even balance himself, Ryder threw herself in his arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she digs her nose in his neck. Midnight froze, feeling as if his heart was about to explode at any given moment.

"I thought you wouldn't come again." Ryder sobbed; her hoarse voice muffled by Midnight's neck. She failed to notice that the hood had fallen off Midnight's head, to notice that she, who had been hesitant to touch his hand throughout the whole week, now was hugging him tight.

As Ryder spoke, her breath tickled Midnight's neck, sending goosebumps all over his body. He wanted to say something… To wrap his arms around her… to hold her in his arms and never let got, but his body couldn't get over the shock of this sudden affectionate act, especially when he had been thinking that Ryder didn't want to see him again.

"Why didn't you come out yesterday" Midnight heard himself asking.

Ryder finally let him go, avoiding to look him in the face because of embarrassment. Midnight used this chance to pull the hood over his face again.

"I was out with a friend and I came home later than expected…” Her voice got lower at the end. "I'm sorry."

Her body was weak and she couldn't stand up anymore. Her knees were about to give away, so out of habit Ryder sat on the floor cross-legged. However just as she sat down, she started to cough.

Midnight looked down at her with a frown. Her voice sounded a bit hoarse as she whispered but only now that she started to cough was, he convinced that Ryder was sick.

Without saying anything he squatted near her and touched her forehead. Sure, enough it was warm and she was shivering. She has a fever and still sits on the floor; Midnight helplessly shook his head. "Don't sit down there. You already have a fever."

Maybe it was because this night was bewitched, fated to break all the unsaid rules between them that Midnight took Ryder in his arms in a princess carry, one arm under her knees and the other supporting her back as he walked her to the bed. Ryder, on the other hand, was too busy coughing her lungs out to pay any attention to this. As soon as he sat her down on the bed, Midnight pulled the blanket around her shoulders, wrapped her in a burrito then sat by her side.

"Do you have any medicine for the cough?”

Ryder nodded and then stretched her arm and grabbed the thermos with hot tea by her bed. She took a few sips, before talking. "I'm sorry I didn't come last night. I wanted to, but…”

Seeing her like this Midnight couldn't hold a grudge even if he wanted to. "It's okay, don't worry." He comforted and unconsciously… okay maybe half unconsciously, touched her hand. Just as he was about to pull it back, Ryder took his hand in her hers and didn't let go. That itch that has been bothering her for more than a week finally disappeared. Maybe it was because of this, that Midnight got the courage to ask her. "Where you out with Jasmine?”

Ryder shook her head. "No. It was a friend from school. He has been in a bad mood the whole week, so we went out yesterday so he could get his mind off whatever was worrying him."

The voice Ryder used was calm and casual like she was talking what she ate for breakfast, but what she said was like a slap to Midnight, who couldn't help but frown. She was out with a guy? Does she like him? She probably likes him… (opt-T) Why else would she worry about him so much…

He knew he had not right to feel like this, but these feelings didn't ask for his permission before invading his heart. "Is that guy important to you?”

Ryder was drinking from her thermos again and didn't notice the harsh tone Midnight spoke with. He sounded like he was wronged by heavens. The jealousy spilled out of his mouth with those words like a bottle of vinegar. Yet Ryder didn't notice. This headless chicken.

"I don't know. I guess so?” She shrugged. Her eyes were focused on the hand she was holding, feeling like a child holding a toy they had begged for, for months. She played with the fingers, caressing the palm and the back of his hand, smiling like an idiot without even noticing it. If it wasn't for the fact that Ryder was talking about another boy, Midnight wouldn't be so dismissive to it.

There are more important things I have to deal first. Who is this guy? Give me the name, woman!

"Do you…” Midnight was scared to even ask. He swallowed once before talking again. "Do you have a crush on him?”

Ryder finally looked away from Midnight's hand. She frowned, feeling somewhat awkward having this kind of conversation with Midnight.

Why are we talking about boys right now? Wasn't this conversation supposed to be only between Jasmine and her? Who are both girls…?

Still frowning, Ryder nodded. "MH. I do."

The whole world crushed on Midnight. He felt as if the ceiling fell on him. His body froze, all hopes in his heart shattered to dust as his heart cracked. "Oh… He must be a nice guy then…”

Ryder shrugged. Her eyebrows furrowed as she finally noticed that something was off with Midnight's tone. "I'm still figuring it out."

“? Didn't you say you like him? How can you like him if you don't know what kind of person he is?”

What the hell is he talking about? The more Midnight said the more confused Ryder felt. When did she say she likes Aiden?

"I don't like him…” She said slowly as if only that way Midnight would understand it better. However, the confusion infected poor Midnight, going from Ryder to him, spreading evenly between them.

"Didn't you say you had a crush on him?” What is going on? Do you or do you not like that guy? May I hope or dig a hole and bury myself there?

"Aha." Ryder smiled realizing where Midnight misunderstood her. "Having a crush doesn't mean I like him. I have to know him and have feelings for him to be called 'liking'. Having a crush only means that I'm interested in him. That interest can lead to me liking him, being only friends with him or it can also lead to nothing. It depends on what kind of person he is."

So…. you don't like him? Midnight wasn't sure what to think and feel anymore as he looked at Ryder who had turned her attention to his hand again. "What about me?”

Ryder almost choked on her saliva. She started to cough again, her face turning blood red as she retracted her hands away from Midnight as though it was fire and burned her. Drinking from her thermos again, the hot tea didn't help in calming her down. Instead of fading away, her blush got worse and now she was feeling hot all over.

What the fuck is wrong with him? Damn you and your straightforwardness! You can't ask such things to the sick, okay? How am I supposed to answer that? Tell me young man, why do you ask me such questions? Do you want to see me suffer?

As she kept coughing, Midnight patted her back softly, but the frown on his face seemed to have become a resident on his lips, refusing to leave.

Rather than tripping over her words, Ryder decided to change the topic. "Why don't you give me a phone number or email address?”

It's not like Midnight didn't notice what she was trying to do, but the question took him by surprise. "Why?”

“So, what happened last night won't happen again. Besides… that way we can talk to each other during the day too…”

"No."

Ryder gave him a weak shove, forgetting to be sick for the sake of anger. "Why are you like this? It won't change anything if I know who you are."

With a sad smile lifting the corners of his lips, Midnight grabbed the hand Ryder shoved him with and pulled her closer. Their faces were just a few inches away and his breath hit her lips as he talked. "But what if it changes everything?”