Chapter 48: Vie

"Cerix, honey? What do you want for lunch?"

"Nothing."

Naiinis na binalingan ako ng tingin ni Stephannie nang makita si Cerix na humilig sa aking dibdib. Bahagya akong niyakap nito bago ipinikit ang mga mata. We've been like his for weeks now. Stephannie wanted to win her son's trust again, but Cerix won't just gave in, dahil doon ay mas lalong naiinis o nagagalit sa akin si Stephannie. Cerix doesn't like the food that her mother cooked. He prefer to eat something that I made which really melted my heart, but it kinda hurt for Stephannie.

"Why are so close with her Cerix Agony, ha? She's not your mother and you are supposed to be hugging me!" nagagalit ng singhal ni Stephannie. Narinig ko ang mahinang reklamo ni Cerix ngunit nanatili lang itong nakakapit sa akin.

"Cerix! You better lis—"

"Will you shut the fuck up?!" nalaglag ang panga ko dahil sa isinigaw ng bata. Mukhang hindi lang ako ang nagulat dahil maging si Stephannie ay nakatitig lang sa anak na para bang tinubuan ito ng dalawang ulo. Napaawang rin ang labi nito at ilang beses na kumurap-kurap. Bumaling ito sa akin at inirapan ako bago tumalikod na at lumabas ng kwarto. Pero hindi nakatakas sa akin ang nakita ko sa mukha niya. She was hurt. Nasaktan siya sa sinabi ng anak. Kitang kita ko rin kung paano namuo ang luha sa gilid ng mata niya na kaagad lang nitong pinalis.

Mariin akong napapikit at tiningnan si Cerix na nakapikit ngunit alam ko namang gising ito. He was just pretending to be asleep just to push his mother away from her.

"Rix, baby?" I softly called him. Kaagad naman itong nagmulat at tiningnan ako. Nagsimula nang namuo ang luha nito sa gilid ng kaniyang mga mata dahilan para yakapin ko ito ulit.

"I'm bad, Mommy. I'm so bad that I pushed the woman who carried me for nine months away. I'm bad." Humihikbing pahayag nito. Marahan ko itong binuhat at paharap na pinaupo sa aking kandungan. Kaagad nitong ibinaon ang kaniyang mukha sa aking dibdib habang umiiyak.

He loves his mother. Hindi niya gusto ang nasabi niya at mas lalong hindi niya rin nagugustuhan lahat ng inaakto niya. I know he was hurt too. He's just not ready yet. He loves his mother but he's not yet ready to face her. That's for sure.

"Shush... You are definitely not bad, baby. You are not bad, but what you did was bad. That's completely different baby, hm?" hinaplos ko ang ulo nito. "Are you mad at your Mom?"

"Mama..." pag-uulit nito. "She's not my Mommy but my Mama. You are my Mommy..." humihikbing and pa nito. Tipid akong napangiti bago hinalikan ang kaniyang ulo.

"Hindi ka dapat nagagalit sa Mama mo, baby. Mama mo pa rin siya whether you like it or not, and besides, it is really not good to hold a grudge on someone. She made a mistake, baby. Your Mama is just a person, just like us. We make mistakes that we don't expect we can. She made a mistake, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun, magagalit ka na sa kaniya. Remember baby, in every mistakes, there are some reasons. So maybe, your Mama has reasons too. You have to forgive her, baby." I caressed his hairs gently. I was silently thankful na tumahan na siya ngayon.

"Well, there are times that we are really having a hard time forgiving someone. It takes time. Sometimes, we have to wait for the time to heal us. So when there's no anger anymore, we can forgive the person who hurted us. If you are not ready to forgive her just yet. You have to show her respect. As your mother, and as a person. You understand, Cerix baby?"

Hindi ko ito narinig bagkus ay dahan dahan namang itong tumango.

"I am not mad at her, Mommy. I am just mad at what she did." he whispered. A smile made a way to my lips. That's my son.

***

"You want this, honey?" Napalingon ako kay Cerix nang bumaling ito sa akin. I softly nodded at him. Tumingin naman ito ulit sa kaniyang ina at bahagyang tumango. Stephannie offered him a bacon and when her son nodded, I saw how happy she was with it.

Binalingan ako ni Stephannie. I was about to smile at her when she immediately rolled her eyes. I just sighed.

"Eat a lot, baby..." I smiled at Chaos. He smiled at me softly before kissing my forehead. I was too focused on Cerix that I didn't even noticed Chaos who's beside me.

"Chaos, kain ka. Masarap 'tong niluto ko e. Kasing sarap ko..." napalunok ako nang marinig ang malambing na boses ni Stephannie. From the corner of my eyes, I saw her walking towards Chaos seat. Although Chaos didn't payed an attention to her, she was still very pushy on offering the food that she cooked.

"No. I prefer my girl's food." Chaos' mumbled coldly making me smile a bit.

Napahinto sandali si Stephannie dahil sa sinabi ng lalaki ngunit kaagad naman itong nakabawi at sapilitan ng inilagay sa plato ni Chaos ang beef steak.

"Dali na kasi... I promise, it taste exactly just like me. Di ba natikman mo naman na ako dati? Hm? No need to think twice na. Remember noon? You always love my juices—"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." I bit my lower lip. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko ay gusto kong maiyak ngayon dahil sa sinasabi ni Stephannie. Alam ko naman ng mag namamagitan talaga sa kanila noon e. Of course, nagbunga nga. Pero sa tuwing iniisip ko 'yon ay nakakaramdam ako ng sakit at pagseselos, which I think is very unfair for Chaos. I was married too. May sabit na ako bago kami magkakilala kaya... in some ways, patas lang naman kami.

"Ehh! Totoo naman kaya! Sarap na sarap ka sa ak—"

"You better shut your mouth now before I fucking stitch it for you. Please do have some respect on yourself while I am at my limit. If not for my girl and my son, I would've thrown you outside my house. So fucking act like a person. Not a fucking low class dog." marahas ang bawat bigkas ni Chaos sa bawat salita. It made me shiver and at the same time, I felt pity with Stephannie.

Dahan dahan kong inabot ang nakakuyom na kamao ni Chaos at marahang hinaplos ito. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang maramdamang dahan dahan ng kumalma ang lalaki.

"Do not fucking compete with Calsey. I know what you are doing and you are trying to vie with her. You'll lose it. You'll lose because you are way far from my woman here. So do not ever try messing up with her, or I'll really fucking ruin you. This time, I take no jokes."