Chapter 20

Kildare, Ireland – Saturday.

Rae.

It took me a few days to be up and moving around again, and while I still have a tiny bit of soreness in my legs I feel back to my normal self. I told Edmund I wanted to go to the club tonight after we have dinner with the family.

I plan to tell everyone what is going on, but first I have to tell Ciara. I promised her she would be the first to know, and that turned out to be a lie since more than half of the family already knows.

We haven’t heard anything from Carley the rest of the week, thankfully, but my dad was able to determine that the brakes on my car were cut intentionally. He and Edmund went to the police station and filed a report, citing that Carley previously showed up here, keyed my car, and has been sending us harassing texts. All of that was enough to get a protective order against her, but what that will actually do we aren’t sure.

I make my way down the hall to the kitchen, we have been spending our nights in Edmund’s apartment, but he is right, I can still smell the whore there. Superhuman senses can be a bitch sometimes.

“Morning, kitten!” Edmund comes around the kitchen island and hands me a mug of coffee. I lean up on my tiptoes and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Morning, Master.” We have fallen into this comfortable familiarity between us when we are alone, always the Dom and sub. I love it, bask in it even.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” he says as he leads me to the couch, and I cringe. I know where this is going. We had planned on hunting together each morning and we haven’t been. My cravings are getting bad again and I feel like I am close to losing control. I hate myself for it. Hate who I am deep down and I think he can see it.

“Is this about what I think it is about?” My words come out more defensive than I had originally planned. “Because I was planning to take your car to the cottage and talk to Ciara before dinner.”

“It won’t take long. Please, sit down.” I’m pacing the small space between the coffee table and the couch and I look up at him, Edmund is pointing to the couch and his eyes tell me he is giving me a command. I nod, letting out a long sigh.

“Yes, Master.” The sass with which I say it I know will get me in trouble, but I don’t care. I don’t want to have this conversation.

“This isn’t what you think it is, Rae. At least, partially.”

“Then what is it?” Running my hands through my hair, I pull on the roots, trying to steady myself, hoping the pain will help ground me.

“This is about that, yes. But it is about more than that. We are going hunting tomorrow, now that you’re better we are getting back to hunting each morning.” I nod at his words.

“Okay.” I drag out the word, waiting for him to go on.

“But I want to give you something.” Edmund’s hand slips into his back pocket and he pulls out a folded piece of notebook paper. “These are for you.”

“What are they?” I quickly unfold the paper, eager to see what he has given me.

“Daily affirmations.”

“That’s lame,” I say. The moment the words slip from my mouth I see his face fall, and I regret it. “I just mean, what are they? I’m smart, I’m beautiful? Shit like that?” The paper is still in my hand but I look at his face, my heart twisting in my chest. I wish I knew how to keep my big mouth shut sometimes. I can tell I hurt his feelings.

“Just read them, Rae.” My eyes flick down to the paper and I start to read over what he has written there for me. “Out loud.”

“This feels silly,” I confess.

“It isn’t. You’re going to read them out loud to me. Then we are going to tape this to the bathroom mirror and you’re going to read them out loud every morning to yourself.”

“I don’t get it.” He pushes the paper toward me.

“Read them, then I’ll explain, and you will get it.”

Clearing my throat I look down at the paper. “I am unique and special in every way, which is why he has chosen me.” I finish the first one and look at Edmund, tears filling my eyes. He is right, these are no cheesy affirmations. Moving on to the next one my voice breaks, “I am an amazing gift and his most valuable possession. Edmund,” I cry out his name. The emotions are too much for me to handle, tears slip down my cheeks and I sob.

“Go on. One more,” he urges me forward, kissing me on the cheek. “You’ve got this, kitten.”

“I am valued not because I serve but because I am his.” I get the final one out and drop the paper onto the coffee table. Throwing myself forward into Edmund’s arms I let loose the tears and cry into his shoulder. His hand trails down my back as he comforts me.

“I can’t do this every day. It will kill me,” I sob out the words, hiccupping on the last.

“You can and you will. I want you to say them every morning until you believe every word. You’re incredible, Rae. You’re not evil, not damaged, not broken. You’re my most valuable possession, the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I need you to know that, trust that, and believe it wholeheartedly.”

I simply nod at him. Tears still falling down my cheeks. “Edmund, make love to me.” The words fall out of my mouth, it isn’t something we have done. Made love, soft and sweet, I’ve never wanted it, never looked for it. Have always despised it when that is what I’ve gotten from other, lesser men.

But now, with these words flowing through my mind, I need him to make love to me. I need him to show me with his body how much he feels for me and let me show him how I feel with mine.

“I love you, Edmund,” I say, still weeping, my stomach swirls and I sniffle. Overcome with emotions, I lean into him, and sob again.

“I love you too, Rae.” Edmund scoops me up from the couch and carries me to the bedroom. When he lays me gently on the bed, I watch as he slips out of his clothes, and I go ahead and do the same.

He is ready for me. I watch his hard cock bob as he makes his way to the dresser and retrieves a condom. I slip my hand down over my body and run my fingers up my slit, preparing myself for him. Butterflies in my stomach do flips, unsure why I’m so nervous, I lie back on the bed and wait. Shaking with the anticipation.

Edmund finishes with preparing himself and steps up to the foot of the bed, kneeling on it he crawls over top of me, his hands on either side of my head, he smiles down at me and I lean up to kiss him softly.

“I love you, Rae,” he whispers in my ear, as he leans down, one hand on the base of his cock he runs it up and down my slit.

“Mmm,” I moan out my pleasure when the tip of his cock rubs against my clit sending little shocks of excitement through me.

“I want to taste you first,” Edmund whispers in my ear, his lips trailing down over my neck, then over my breasts. His hands worship my body as he goes, rough calluses against my soft curves make me arch my back. I push my breasts into his face as he peppers them with kisses and I giggle when he nuzzles them gently.

Continuing his path down my body he swirls his tongue in my navel and then nips at each hip. I moan again, panting now, needing to have more, more of his hands on me, more of his mouth on me. My need for it is so intense, I have to squeeze my eyes closed and take slow steady breaths.

When he reaches my pussy he buries his nose in my patch of curls. “You smell incredible, kitten.” I giggle at his words, the softness with which he touches me is doing things I never imagined it would. Without the aggression behind our sex I didn’t think I could come alive this way. But with Edmund, it is different than ever before. I bask in the softness he touches me with.

Slowly he runs his fingers up and down my slit, bringing my need to life even more. I bite my lip and try to hold back my cry when he pushes his fingers slowly inside me and closes his mouth over my clit. He laps at me, swirling his tongue over my taut bud, small circles as he applies suction to me gently.

I make soft mewling noises as he continues to lap at me slowly, the building of sensation spreads through me, so different than when he spanks me or flogs me. The tenderness catches me off guard and I feel tears slip from the corners of my eyes.

Edmund’s fingers swirl inside me, matching the pace of his tongue on my clit, when he spreads them wide and twists them, stretching my walls I tense down around him. Then he finds it, the soft spot inside me. Rubbing over it again and again, he picks up his pace as he flicks his tongue over my clit and I moan.

“Come for me, Rae,” he murmurs against me and I squeeze my eyes closed. Sucking in a sharp breath when he ever so gently nips at my clit.

Arching up off the bed, I feel the orgasm build inside me. Tensing, I curl my toes and squeeze my eyes closed, it is soft and sweet. Not followed by the intensity of being flogged or the emotional release of subspace. But it is incredible, when he works me right up to the edge again, I cry out as his free hand finds my breast and squeezes me gently.

I reach down and take hold of his hair, pulling him up to me. I want to kiss him, need his lips on mine and his cock buried inside me. “I need you now,” I tell him as I close my mouth over his, our tongues swirl together and I can taste my come on his lips.

“Mmm, you feel amazing,” he says as he slips slowly into me. His weight on top of my body as he holds himself up on his elbows and slips in and out of me is a comfort I have never felt before. I have always felt suffocated, stifled, with a man on top of me. This is beyond explanation.

Edmund rides me slowly, for a long time, my legs wrap around his waist and I get lost in our kisses, he covers my face and neck with them. I have to catch my breath as I get lost so deeply in our love making.

As he pushes in and out of me I lose track of time, not caring how long we stay here joined like this. Our bodies become one, when he slowly slips from me I whine, but he lies down next to me and pulls me back to him, slipping inside me again from behind. As his arms come around me, he pulls me down on him, and I hiss out my pleasure.

At this angle he is so much deeper inside me, I’m so full of him that it nearly hurts. His hand wraps around my hip and he finds my clit, his expert fingers working over me as he continues to drive in and out of my soaking pussy.

“Come for me, Rae.” Edmund’s whispered words fill my ear and I push my ass back against him. Filling myself with as much of him as I can take. “I want you to come all over my cock.”

I nod at his words, they’re not a command, but rather a request and I grant him what he is asking of me. I let go, relaxing into it. The buzzing feeling moves through my body from my core and I explode around him, clenching down on him. When I do, I can feel him buck harder inside me, the twitching of his cock telling me he is finding his release as I find mine.

“Rae,” he growls my name into my ear. I turn and close my mouth over his.

Sated from our lovemaking, and still healing from my injuries, I fall asleep in Edmund’s arms. When I wake a short while later the clock on the nightstand says it is only ten in the morning. I still have time to make it to Ciara’s and spend the day with her.

“Did you want coffee?” Edmund whispers in my ear as I stretch.

“Of course,” I tell him, rolling onto my back and brushing my nose against his in an Eskimo kiss.

“Coming right up.” I nod and watch him go. As he makes his way down the hall I get up and head to the bathroom. I relieve myself and am brushing my teeth when he comes back into the room, coffee mugs in hand. A sheet of paper in the other.

“I brought these.” He holds up the paper to me and I slip it from his hand as he sets the mugs down on the counter.

“Tape?” I ask, holding my hand out to him. He slips the roll of tape from his pocket and hands it to me.

Together we take the time to carefully tape my morning affirmations to the mirror.

“You understand the rules? You have to say them each morning, out loud. Whether I am here to hear you say them or not.” I nod in response. “Say it, Rae.”

“Yes, Master. Every day no matter what.” I lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you, for these. It means a lot that you took the time to come up with them and put so much thought into this for me. I really do want this to work.”

“It will. This and our morning hunts and things will work. I know you can do this, Rae.” He pauses, our eyes meet in the mirror and I have a feeling I know what he is going to say before he does. “Do you think you should talk to your dad about it?”

“How did I know you were going to suggest that?” Running my hands through my hair I sigh. “Maybe?” I ask him, looking for his advice.

“I think it certainly wouldn’t hurt.” Edmund shrugs and picks up his toothbrush. “Think about it at least.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it. Right now, I have to go tell Ciara about us.”

“I doubt it is going to come as a shock to her.”

“I feel the same, but she made me promise to tell her once I was ready. So, I am.” I shrug and head out of the bathroom.

“Keys are on the kitchen counter,” Edmund calls after me. I stop and turn back around, heading back into the bathroom.

“I love you,” I say, kissing him on the cheek.

“I love you, too,” he replies through a mouthful of toothpaste.

* * *

Rae.

I knock on the front door of the cottage and wait for someone to answer the door. It isn’t early, I expect them to be up. But who knows what the couple inside is up to and what I may be interrupting. I should have called first.

Turning from the door, I head back toward my car when I hear giggling behind me. I roll my eyes. “I’m here! Wait!” Ciara calls to me.

I turn and look at her, laughing at my best friend as she slips out through the crack in the front door and closes it behind her.

“Sorry to interrupt. But I have important news I needed to tell you.”

“Oh thank goodness! Edmund is your mate!” She tells me this with so much excitement as she claps her hands that I nearly fall over.

“You know?”

“Everyone knows! We have been waiting for you two to figure it out for years.”

“Years?” I ask her, taking her hand in mine and pulling her into my arms for a hug.

“Yes, Rae. Years.” She laughs and kisses me on the cheek.

“Wow, so I guess we’re late to the game.”

“A little. But I am so happy for you two!” The front door creaks open behind Ciara and I see Rian slip his face out through the crack, hiding his body behind the door. I doubt he has any clothes on.

“We are so happy for you!” he tells me and I laugh at his attempt to crane his neck around the edge of the door.

“Did you want to come in?” Ciara asks me, pointing over her shoulder.

“Oh, no. It looks like you two have plans. I better get going. I need to go see my dad anyway.”

“Oh, to talk to him about you feeding on humans?” Ciara asks, chewing on her fingernails.

I jerk my head toward her, my eyes wide. “Do you know everything?”

“Rae. I have known you our entire lives. Do you honestly think you have secrets from me and I don’t know what you were doing all of this time? I’m not stupid. Plus, I’m a werewolf and I could smell the blood on you.”

My eyes widen even more. “So that means?”

“Yes, I’m sure everyone knows that too. Go. Go talk to your dad. He can help.”

“Well, shit, none of this day is going how I had planned.”

Ciara shrugs at me. “Do they ever lately?”

“Not really.” I give her a one-armed hug and then watch as Rian pulls her back into the cottage and slams the door behind them.