Chapter 132: Forward
The months after the adoption slipped into a familiar routine. Lily excelled at school; her paintings hung in the hallway. Emma had decided having two siblings was better than one. Oliver had started walking, ambling around the penthouse in a dizzying flurry of limbs.
Rowan had returned to full-time work, a mix of advocacy and motherhood. She spoke and wrote when she could, when the mood or the inspiration struck, but for the most part she focused on the three children who had adopted her, who called her Mom.
“You seem settled,” Patricia said over lunch one day. “More settled than I’ve ever seen you.”
“I am. For the first time in three years, I feel like I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
“That’s growth.”
“That’s exhaustion. I’m too tired to be anxious anymore.”
Patricia laughed. “Parenthood in a nutshell.”
Lily and Hannah were now messaging each other regularly. Tentative text conversations about school, music, nothing profound. But it was a start.
“She invited me to visit,” Lily said over dinner one night. “Her family. In Connecticut. For a weekend.”
Rowan’s stomach sank. “How do you feel about that?”
“Anxious. But also curious. I want to meet them. The real versions. Not the angry versions.”
“What about David?”
“He’ll be there, obviously. But Hannah says he’s different. Quieter. He and Catherine are in couples therapy. Trying to work things out.”
“And the boys?”
“Michael called Hannah and apologized. James is still…odd about it. But he’s not actively mean.”
“You don’t have to go. If you’re not ready.”
“I think I am ready. I think I need to see if there’s a there there. Even if it’s just the basic acquaintance level.”
They settled on a date two weeks away. Rowan would drive Lily there and back, and she was insistent on not leaving her in the lurch.
“I will not leave you there alone if it doesn’t work out,” Rowan said.
“Fair enough.”
It took two hours to drive to Connecticut. Lily was mostly quiet, anxiously twisting her sleeves.
“You can change your mind,” Rowan said over and over again on the drive. “Until we pull up to the front door, you can change your mind.”
“I know. But I want to try.”
The Harrington house was large and perfectly suburban. David answered the door, his face looking years older than Rowan remembered.
“Lily. Thank you for coming.” He turned to Rowan. “Rebecca. Rowan. Thank you for bringing her.”
“It’s Rowan. And I will be here Sunday at five to pick her up.”
“Of course.”
Hannah materialized from the kitchen behind David. Sixteen, blond, fidgeting. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Lily said back.
Rowan hugged Lily. “Call me if you need anything. If you need me. If you need me at all.”
“I will. I promise.”
Watching Lily walk into that house had been one of the hardest things Rowan had ever done. Every instinct she had screamed to yank her back, take her home, protect her.
But Lily needed this. Needed to know if her biological family could become something real, instead of staying theoretical.
The drive home took twice as long. Rowan called Asher twice. Checked her phone compulsively.
“She’s fine,” Asher said when Rowan walked in the door. “You need to trust her.”
“I do trust her. I just don’t trust them.”
“Fair point. But she’s smart. Smarter than most. She’ll know how to take care of herself.”
Emma was less subtle. “When is Lily coming home? I miss her.”
“Sunday. Two days.”
“That’s forever.”
“It’s forty-eight hours.”
“Same thing.”
Lily called Saturday night. “Just checking in.”
“How is it?”
“Weird. But okay. Hannah’s actually really cool. We have a lot in common.”
“And David?”
“Awkward. He’s trying too hard. But he’s nice. Catherine is civil. Cold, but civil.”
“And the boys?”
“Michael is fine. James is still weird but not mean. I think they’re all trying.”
“That’s good. That’s progress.”
“Oh yeah. I think so too.”
Sunday afternoon, Rowan pulled up at 5 pm sharp. David answered the door again.
“She’s upstairs packing. Come in?”
Rowan stepped inside. The house was beautiful. Photos of family everywhere. Not one of Lily.
Catherine appeared from the kitchen. Perfectly coiffed, perfectly controlled. “Ms. Vance.”
“Mrs. Harrington.”
“Thank you for allowing Lily to visit. I know this situation has been difficult for everyone.”
“It has. But Lily deserves to know her family. Her whole family.”
“She’s fortunate to have you.” Catherine’s voice was clipped but sincere. “David told me about everything you’ve done for her. The adoption. The stability.”
“She’s my daughter. It’s what mothers do.”
“Yes. Well. Some mothers.” Catherine averted her eyes. “I was angry. About the affair. About David’s deceptions. I took it out on Lily. That was wrong.”
“Yes. It was.”
“I’m working on it. In therapy. Learning to separate out my anger at David from my feelings about Lily.”
“That’s good. Lily needs adults in her life who can be rational.”
Lily came down the stairs, arm in arm with Hannah. Both girls were giggling about something.
“Ready?” Rowan asked.
“Yeah. Thanks for having me,” Lily said to the room at large.
Hannah hugged her. “Text me when you get home.”
“I will.”
David walked them to the car. “Thank you for this. For giving us a chance.”
“I didn’t give you anything. Lily made this choice.”
“Still. Thank you.”
On the drive back, Lily was mostly quiet for the first twenty minutes. Then: “I think it’s going to be okay.”
“Yeah?”
Yeah. They’re trying. It’s messy and complicated and probably always will be. But they’re trying.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Relieved. I don’t need them to be perfect. I just need them to try.”
“That’s very wise.”
“I have a good teacher.”
At home, Emma launched herself at Lily. “You’re back! I missed you so much! Oliver missed you too!”
Oliver toddled over, arms flung up. Lily scooped him up.
“I missed you guys too.”
That night, after the kids were in bed, Rowan sat with Asher on the terrace.
“She’s going to be okay,” Asher said.
“I know. She’s stronger than I give her credit for.”
“She learned from the best.”
“I’m not that strong.”
“You’re the strongest person I know. You rebuilt your entire life from nothing. Twice.”
Rowan slumped against him. “Three times if you count adding Lily.”
“Three times, then. Most people don’t get one chance to build a life they love. You’ve had three.”
“I’m very lucky.”
“We’re very lucky.”
They sat in the dark, watching the city lights, and Rowan felt something she hadn’t in years. Complete peace. No ghosts flitting in the margins. No secrets waiting to sprout wings and take flight. Just her family, her life, her choices.
All of it hard-won. All of it real. All of it hers.