Chapter 119: Desire

Chapter 119: Desire

Roderick's POV

I leaned against the cool metal of my car, my gaze fixed on Lif. She stood several feet away, head bowed, a silhouette of deep, agonizing thought against the roadside shadows. Ever since the witches had told her about her condition, and what needed to be done in order for her to live longer, and to break the curse. She had become silent, lost in thoughts

From where I stood, it wasn't quiet at all; I could hear the panicked thunder of her heart and the jagged, uneven rhythm of her breath. Each sigh she let out felt like a physical weight.

I knew this was tearing her apart. She was a someone with conscience, the kind of soul who couldn't bear the thought of another suffering for her sake, yet the primal urge to live was clawing at her. She was caught between a rock and a hard place, and the pressure was visible in the slump of her shoulders.

It had been hours since we left the coven, and we were still lingering here. She had claimed she needed air, a transparent lie to mask the fact that she was drowning in her own thoughts.

“Let's leave, Lif," I said, stepping into her space. I reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off with a sharp, dismissive motion. She was avoiding my touch like it burned.

“Leave! I'm not going with you," she snapped. Her voice wasn't weak; it dripped with a sudden, fierce determination.

“I can't leave you here," I countered, scanning the dark, desolate surroundings. “We need to move. It’s dangerous out here."

“I said I’m not going! Why are you so stubborn?" she shouted, her anger finally boiling over. “Why do you care if I stay here all night? You never cared before. Don't start pretending now, not after all the lies."

A sharp ache blossomed in my chest. She was right. I had lied, betrayed her, and used her as a pawn in a game she never asked to play.

“I'm sorry for everything I’ve done to you," I said, the words feeling heavy and inadequate. “I lied, and I deeply regret it."

She let out a harsh, dry scoff. “Don't pretend you’re truly sorry. I know you don’t mean it."

I didn't let her pull away this time. I took her hand, forcing her to face me. The moonlight hit her face, revealing a map of sadness and shadows, the faint, shimmering traces of dried tears still visible. I clasped my hand into hers, and the simple warmth of her skin awakened a powerful, protective surge deep within me.

“I know I was selfish, and I regret it..." I paused, my head bowing under the weight of my remorse. “Please, forgive me. For the lies, the betrayal, the coldness... everything." My voice dropped to a ragged whisper, thick with guilt. “Don't hate me, Lif."

I heard her breath hitch. She bowed her head for a moment, then looked up, her eyes searching mine. “I never hated you, Roderick. I was angry, furious at the lies, but I could never hate you. My heart won't let me. But—" her voice broke, a small, choked sound. “I’m dying. That is the brutal truth. Being with you will only make it harder. The thought of leaving you alone is... it’s agonizing. I can’t take it."

She wrenched her hand from mine and stepped back.

“You need to get away from me. I won't involve you in this. The witches demanded a life—a vampire’s life. It’s obvious they just want to get rid of you. I won't let you die for me."

“I—" I started, taking a step toward her. She instantly retreated. “Just for tonight. Let me stay with you tonight," I pleaded. The desperation in my voice surprised even me.

I took another step, and this time, to my immense relief, she didn't recoil. I closed the distance between us, my hand sliding to the small of her back to pull her into my heat.

Our lips clashed in a heated, desperate kiss. She met my fervor, our tongues entwining as we explored one another with a hunger that bordered on madness. A jolt of pure electricity shot through my body, making my pulse race. Arousal flooded my system, white-hot and uncontrollable.

I pulled away abruptly, gasping for air. The pleasure was becoming a physical threat; I felt like I was going to lose my mind if I didn't claim her right then. Her scent was an intoxicating lure, heightening my senses until my control snapped. I felt my features shift, my predatory side surging to the surface.

“What's wrong?" she asked, her voice tinged with disappointment at the sudden break.

I bowed my head, swallowing hard against the explosion of desire. “Let’s get out of here," I managed to choke out. I grabbed her hand and led her to the car.

We barely made it through the door of my room before we were on each other again. She jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist while I held her tight, our mouths fused in a kiss that was rough, intoxicating, and building in intensity. I was completely consumed by the moment.

I wrenched off my shirt and helped her out of her clothes, fumbling with her bra until she was entirely naked before me. The heat radiating from her skin was so intense it forced another shift; my eyes glowed, my claws elongated, and my fangs pushed against my gums.

I moved to the bed, hovering over her as I lowered her softly onto the sheets, never breaking the kiss. When we finally broke apart to breathe, we were both gasping, our foreheads pressed together. Her gaze was fixed on my face, and a small, dazed smile touched her lips.

“Your eyes... they’ve changed," she whispered, her hand rising to caress my cheek. “It’s fascinating. The glow... it’s drawing me in."

“Then let me draw you closer," I murmured, diving back in.

As we moved together, she moaned softly, her fingers tangling in my hair. The heat between us was explosive. I trailed my mouth down the column of her throat, her scent hitting me like a physical blow. Control vanished. I sank my teeth into her neck, a shallow, primal mark. She gasped, her hands clutching my hair tighter as her moans filled the room. In that moment, I forgot her blood was poison to my kind; the pleasure had stripped away my reason, and I tasted a few drops of her blood.

I traced a path of kisses down to her abdomen, leaving a faint trail of red behind. I kissed every inch of her, making her writhe beneath me. When I moved between her legs, her body jolted as if she’d been electrocuted. I used my fingers to stroke her, watching her arch and twist until she was slick with wanting.

“I need you now," she gasped, her eyes blown wide.

“Beg me," I insisted, my voice a low growl.

“Yes..." she screamed as I added a second finger, moving with a rhythm that made her heart thunder in my ears. “Please, Roderick, I need you!"

In one swift motion, I rid myself of my remaining clothes. I positioned myself between her thighs and surged into her. A loud, guttural moan escaped me, and her whole body quivered in response. We moved in a desperate, beautiful friction, changing positions, chasing the peak until we both fractured into orgasm.

And for the first time in centuries, I felt truly, vibrantly alive. A ray of hope flickered in the dark corners of my chest. I wanted this moment to last forever.