Chapter 91

Zeena’s POV

I sat outside the pack hospital and stared into nothing. Guilt eating deep into me.

The world kept moving around me–footsteps passing, murmurs drifting through the air, the faint smell of blood and medical ointment clinging to everything–but none of it felt real. My hands rested limply in my lap, dried blood flaking against my skin. I hadn’t washed it off. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because it felt wrong to pretend none of this had happened.

Everything had happened so quickly.

One moment Ryder was standing in front of me, alive, furious, fighting for me. The next, Ryder was struggling to breathe –live even, there was blood in my mouth, Elliot’s body lying twisted and broken on the ground, and Ryder being carried away while his breathing sounded so so wrong.

In the space of minutes, I had killed someone.

And caused Ryder to be inside that building, fighting for his life. If only I had just shut it.

Celeste had gone quiet. Not gone–gone at least this time around, but she was just pulled back, coiled somewhere deep inside me like she was nursing a wound of her own. I could feel her presence faintly, distant, but she wasn’t speaking. I didn’t blame her. I didn’t know what I would say either. I didn't know if she had reached out to Max either. I just wanted to wake up and somehow find out that this was all a bad, bad nightmare.

I was still seated, hunched over my knees forcing my shoulders to support my neck, when a shadow fell across my feet. I didn’t need to look up to actually tell who it was, only I wasn't ready to listen to whatever it was he had to say.

“Zeena,” Andre called out regardless.

I didn’t respond.

“Zeena,” he tried again, quieter this time.

Still nothing from me and just when I thought he would turn and leave, I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” I snapped immediately, shooting to my feet so abruptly my vision blurred for a second. Rage, grief, everything crashing together in my chest. I spun on him, words spilling out before I could stop them.

“What the fuck do you want to tell me, Andre?” I demanded. “What? What do you want to say? That it wasn’t your place? That you were waiting for permission?”

My voice cracked, my throat tightening as tears burned my eyes.

“You watched him fight Elliot,” I went on, the words tumbling as I tried to keep my voice steady. “You all did. You stood there and watched. You had to wait till he was this gravely injured.”

My chest heaved as a sob tore free.

“And now he’s in there fighting for his life,” I choked out. “Is this how much you revere your Alpha? You let him bleed because of rules?”

Andre didn’t interrupt me. He didn’t argue. He didn’t defend himself and that somehow hurt more.

I wiped my face roughly with the back of my hand, turning my back on him. “I’d like to be left alone.”

I expected him to say something. Anything.

Instead, I heard his footsteps retreat.

I sank back onto the steps, shoulders folding inward as the anger drained out of me, leaving only guilt, exhaustion and ache behind. My head dropped forward again. I was finding it harder and harder to stay composed.

A few minutes passed. Maybe more, I couldn't really tell when footsteps approached again.

I let out a tired, bitter breath. Can these people just leave me alone? I lifted my head to find Laura standing in front of me.

I leaned my head back against the wall, eyes closing briefly. I really didn’t have the energy for this. Not her. Not now.

She sighed as though she already knew that.

“You need to pull yourself together, Zeena,” she said. “Stop acting like he’s already dead.”

I opened my eyes slowly.

“You’re the Luna of this pack,” she continued. “Ryder can’t lead right now. Responsibility doesn’t disappear just because you’re hurting.”

A dry laugh slipped out of me because what was this? “I need to pull myself together?” I asked quietly. “Just like you've done, right?”

Her jaw tightened, but I didn’t let her speak.

“Well, I don’t want to,” I continued, shaking my head. “I won’t. So leave me be. You’re the Beta. You've pulled yourself together so you can take responsibility.”

She exhaled sharply, clearly fighting the urge to snap back. But before she could say anything else, the doors of the pack hospital opened.

Edrin stepped out, shoulders slumped, his face drawn with fatigue.

I was on my feet instantly. “How is he?” I asked.

Edrin sighed. “He’s stable. For now.”

Relief hit me so hard my knees nearly gave out.

“But it was close,” he added. “His throat was nearly crushed. If you hadn’t intervened when you did–”

“Please don’t,” I cut in quickly. I didn't want to hear that. “Can I see him?” I asked instead.

Edrin studied me for a moment, then nodded. “Briefly.”

That was all I needed.

I hurried inside, my steps slowing as I reached his room and stopping completely when I saw him.

Ryder lay on the bed, too still, bandages wrapped thickly around his neck and chest, faint red seeping through the white. His breathing was shallow but steady.

This was not the Alpha who had kissed my knuckles an hour ago.

Neither the man who had stood between me and death without hesitation.

It hurt so much to see him like this. I moved slowly to his side and took his hand carefully, like he might shatter if I held him too tightly. His knuckles were rough beneath my fingers but holding him like this felt grounding, even more believable as I pressed my lips to them.

“I'm sorry I caused all this Ryder, I'm sorry. But you don’t get to die protecting me,” I whispered. “Don’t do that. Don’t you dare.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” I said softly, voice breaking. “You don’t get to leave me here alone.”

I rested my forehead against the edge of the bed, fingers laced through his.

“Please,” I breathed. “Moon Goddess… please spare him. Answer my prayers for once. I just want all these to be over.”

One minute I knew I was muttering prayers to the moon goddess and the next, I felt myself being jolted awake.

I gasped and sprang to my feet, heart racing, disoriented.

Laura stood there, her expression tight.

“What–?” I started. “How long was I–?”

“Zeena,” she cut in softly, “the council is here.”

Hi lovelies, Happy new yearrrr

So sorry for the wait. Had a lot going on but hopefully that's behind us now and moving forward would be better. I Look forward to your comments and your thoughts on this. I Love you all🤭🤭