Chapter 128

“Hi.”

Petro and I both glance to the side as Kinsley walks into the kitchen. She’s still got bedhead, and her eyes are puffy from a good night’s rest, and she’s wearing a pair of ragged pajama bottoms with my t-shirt that’s about four sizes too big for her. She’s never looked better.

She looks between Petro and me like she’s not sure where or if or how she belongs. I make things easy for her by grabbing her by the waist, pulling her to me, and kissing her hard on the lips. She tastes like cinnamon, inexplicably.

She pulls away, blushing slightly. “Good morning to you, too.”

“Aww, aren’t you two the cutest,” Petro coos.

Kinsley’s blush gets deeper as she untangles herself from me and inches towards the coffee pot. “Petro, how did you manage to get coffee all over yourself?”

I throw him a glare and he shrugs. “Um, Daniil told me a funny story. I laughed and spilled coffee.”

I snort. Idiot.

“A funny story?” Kinsley asks, turning back around to face us. “Daniil doesn’t tell funny stories. Can I hear it?”

Petro is starting to look panicky. “You wouldn’t understand it. It’s a private joke. Inside joke. You know, a just-the-guys kind of thing.”

“Right…” she says, looking between the two of us with amused suspicion. I can’t help but laugh—she likes torturing him, if I’m not mistaken. “Well, keep your secrets then. Are you joining us for breakfast?”

“Sure, why not? Unless you wanna do a whole family thing with Isla today. I can make myself scarce if so.”

Kinsley gives him a smile, and it makes me realize that Petro gets to enjoy her company for the next several months and I don’t. It’s not jealousy, not exactly. But it is… something.

Fear, maybe.

“I can make some eggs. And there’s bread I can toast up. Or…” Kinsley says, poking her head into the fridge. She falls quiet as she rummages around in there for a while.

When she reemerges, her face is drawn tight with worry. It’s crazy to me how I can see that in her now. A curve of the eyebrow, the chewing of her bottom lip, and just like that, I taste her fright on my tongue.

“What is it?” I ask.

“When should we tell Isla?” she asks. “About… about what’s happening?”

I feel that boulder in my chest, the one I woke up with, sink a little lower, a little heavier. I sigh wearily. “I’ll go wake her up myself.”

I walk down the hallway towards Isla’s bedroom. Every step feels like I’m getting closer to a precipice that I’m about to hurl myself off of.

I’m leaving. You’ll be alone again. I’ll do my best to keep you safe, but how can I be sure? How can I be fucking sure?

I swallow down all those words I don’t want to say and push open her door.

She’s stirring when I step in. Yawning, stretching overhead. Her hair is curly and wild and unspeakably beautiful to me. I see so much of her mother in her. So much of my own mother, too. It’s a strange feeling, seeing pieces of yourself reflected in another human being. I still can’t quite comprehend that we made her, Kinsley and I. We did this.

“Good morning, dorogaya,” I rumble.

She sits upright and knuckles the sleep out of her eyes. Then she glares at me. I freeze. “Something wrong?”

“You’re about to tell me something bad, aren’t you?” she accuses, face wrenched in a full pout.

I blink. “What makes you say that?”

“I can see it in your face. You look guilty.”

I grimace and pass a hand over my eyes. “You’re imagining things. Well, fuck. No, you’re not. Yes, I’m going to tell you something you won’t like very much. I’m… I’m leaving today, dorogaya. I have to go back home and take care of some business.”

Isla folds her arms over her chest. “I knew it,” is all she says. She’s angry, just like her mother. Then it melts and her lip quivers. “I don’t want you to go.”

Just like her mother.

I sit down on the edge of her bed and cup her foot through the blankets. “I don’t want to go either,” I tell her, and I’ve never meant it more. “But I have to.”

She sighs. “It’s not going to be the same without you.”

“You have your mother.” Isla shrugs petulantly, and I lower myself to her eye level. “Listen, Isla. Do you remember what I told you yesterday by the pond? Well, I meant it. I love you and your mother, and as soon as it’s safe, we’ll all be together again. I swear. I swear like I’ve never sworn anything in my life before. We’re a family. And families belong together.”

Half an hour later, we’re sitting by a quiet little café overlooking the river. Petro is tucking into a breakfast fit for three, and Kinsley and Isla are busy with chocolate croissants and fresh juice.

I, on the other hand, have no appetite. Suddenly, it feels like Lucerne is no longer safe. Like every man lurking alone in the corner might be one of Gregor’s soldiers, here to rip away the only things I’ve ever let myself love.

When Isla and Kinsley go to peer at the bakery display for potential second helpings, Petro kneads me in the arm with his elbow. “Bro, who are you looking for?”

“What if he knows that we’re here?” I growl under my breath. “What if he managed to track us down?”

“You’re just being paranoid because you’re leaving them,” Petro replies. “You need to stay calm. If Gregor gets inside your head, he wins.”

“Hate to break it to you, but the old fuck has been in my head for two decades straight.”

“Well, time to break the cycle, yeah?”

I swallow my newfound fears as Isla and Kinsley return to the table. “Look!” Isla chirps excitedly. “It’s like pure liquid chocolate in a cup. Can we come here again tomorrow?”

I smile. “Of course. I’m sure your mom can bring you.”

She seems to have forgotten that I won’t be here when tomorrow comes. At the reminder, her face drops immediately and she scowls down at her hot chocolate with sudden disinterest, like it’s the one responsible for ruining things.

I check the time. I need to be leaving soon. Ten minutes at the most. Everyone seems to be aware of it. All the air gets sucked out of the room and everyone’s eyes are on me when I look back up.

“Is it that time already?” Kinsley asks, trying to sound light and breezy and mostly failing at it.

I nod, not trusting my voice.

She gives me a bracing nod in return and glances at Isla. “Sweetheart, you wanna say goodbye to your papa?”