Chapter 65

AURORA.

The following morning, with Nathaniel’s permission, I took some hours off work to deal with an issue that had been pending for some days. This was important to me as it had to deal with getting closure for my past and finally finding the courage to face the future.

And so with trepidation, I found myself sitting across from Mateo in a quaint café, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air, mingling with the tension that simmered between us.

Mateo's piercing gaze bore into mine, his curiosity evident as he leaned forward. “Ysa,” he began, his voice calm and composed but there was an intensity that danced just underneath the surface, “I need to understand. Why are you refusing to sign the documents? I thought you wanted this.”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, knowing that honesty was the only path forward. “Mateo,” I replied, sighing audibly, “I recognize that this is a remarkable opportunity, one that could open doors I’ve aspired to walk through for a long time. But my reasons for refusing are simple, yet deeply personal. I want to earn such chances through my own efforts, dedication and hard work, rather than relying on the favor of others, even if that person happens to be you.”

Mateo was a man of influence and connections in this world, and it would have been easy to accept his assistance. Yet, my desire for independence and a sense of self-worth pushed me to stand firm in my decision. I hoped he understood, and if he didn’t, that was fine. I didn’t need his permission to do what was best for me.

“You’ve got it wrong, Ysa.” His voice was gentle but firm. “I want you to understand that the company's decision to approach you wasn't solely based on my recommendation. While my influence may have played a part, it's crucial to recognize that our company is a collective effort, not just the result of my actions alone. The value of your work speaks for itself.”

I couldn't help but feel a sense of validation wash over me. His words did seem somewhat genuine. “Another thing is, the previous works you've seen were from the earlier stages of my life. Now, with more life experience and a deeper understanding of the world, I want to write a new story, one that reflects my growth and the lessons I've learned along the way.”

“I believe in your talent, Ysa, and it is commendable that you want to write another story to show how much you’ve grown. I’ll support you if that’s what you want to do and we’ll wait for you.”

“No,” I interjected. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t want you or the company to automatically just choose me. I want to do this myself. If I do get chosen, I want to know that I did that all by myself.”

He finally relented. “Alright, If that’s what you want, then fine. I won’t argue.”

Mateo's agreement to my proposition filled the air with a newfound sense of collaboration. As long as I was willing, he was open to the idea of giving me the chance to do this myself. It was a significant step forward if I said so myself.

After our conversation concluded, Mateo offered to give me a ride to work, a gesture of goodwill and perhaps an unspoken sign of our mending relationship. I hesitated for only a moment, then nodded in acceptance because why not? He should know by now that I was no longer interested in him that way. If he was willing to be nothing more than friends, then I was open to it.

The car ride to the company felt oddly different and it was not because I was eager to see Nathaniel again, even though I was. Somehow, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders by this conversation with Mateo. I was glad he tried to see things from my perspective and even if he didn’t, at least he was trying to.

The cityscape passed by in a blur outside the car window as I began to think about what idea I wanted to write for my new book. A few possibilities passed through my mind, most of them invalidated. I needed something new, something fresh to give to my readers or I could kiss the bidding goodbye. I knew that challenges and obstacles would inevitably arise, but I felt a newfound determination to face them head-on.

“So...” Mateo’s voice filled the small space. “Your husband.”

I turned to gaze at Mateo’s side view as he drove, quite surprised that he’d brought my husband up. “What about him?”

Mateo gave me a quick glance from the corner of his eye. “You don’t talk much about him.”

I let out a shaky chuckle. “Was I supposed to?” I didn’t understand exactly what Mateo was trying to say.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” he said. “I’d like to know about the man who married the woman I always wanted to marry. And I find it weird that you don’t talk about him at all.”

I thought about his words. It seemed weird that I would talk about my husband to my ex-boyfriend. Personally, I didn’t even know my husband until three days ago. Nathaniel was a wealthy man and so was Mateo. There was a possibility that they both ran in the same circles. I wouldn’t want there to be a problem between the two men, no matter how implausible that was. Besides, Nathaniel had no idea who Mateo was and what role he played in my life.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Mateo continued.

“You didn’t ask any,” I replied.

He chuckled. “I asked you last time if you loved him.”

I sighed audibly because honestly, this conversation was exhausting. “Mateo, por favor, let it go.”

“Why should I?”

“I’m happily married,” I said, almost whining. “There has never been a love so great that it’s all-encompassing. My marriage is great and my husband is amazing. Is that what you want to hear?”

At this point, I realized I was tired of everyone asking me about my husband. ‘Do you love him?’ ‘Are you having problems?’ ‘What’s going on?’ All the questions were beginning to wear me out. Nobody seemed to care that it wasn’t any of their business if my marriage was working or not.

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

His low tone made me realize I had overreacted. I sighed again, smacking my lips. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have flared up like that. I’m just having a long day today.”

Mateo seemed to sense the unspoken layers beneath my response, but he didn't press further. Instead, he nodded in understanding, and the conversation gradually shifted to lighter topics. Deep down, I knew there were unresolved issues with Nathaniel and me and no part of my outburst was Mateo’s fault.

I still hadn’t figured out what the issue was but I knew it was there. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I still wasn’t sure what I felt for him. And Mateo asking that question only reminded me what a shitty situation I'd gotten myself into.