Chapter 39: Part Thirty-Eight

“Griffin,” I heard the whisper in my ear as I opened my eyes and jumped slightly at the close proximity of Jett’s face.

“What the hell, Jett,” I said as I turned on my side away from him.

“Were you having a good dream?” he asked me as he fell down on the bed and I opened my eyes again.

“Why are you in here?” I asked him.

“You were smiling in your sleep, were you dreaming of me?” he asked.

“Yes, I was busy killing you for being annoying,” I said and he laughed.

“Anyway, Sierra’s waking up,” he said as I sat up abruptly and glared at him.

“You couldn’t have started with that?” I asked him loudly as he backed away from me.

“You were always grumpy in the mornings,” he said as I hastily pulled clothes on and rushed out of my room.

I ran down the stairs and almost fell down them twice as Jett laughed at me from behind. I pulled the front door open and ran across the open stretch as warriors glanced at me with Jett trailing behind.

“It’s okay Griffin! I won’t tell anyone what happened last night, you don’t have to run!” he yelled as I stopped briefly and people started to laugh.

“Piss off, Jett,” I yelled back.

“At least put a shirt on, honey!” he yelled as I pushed the infirmary doors open.

I found the doctor in the hallway and he smiled when he saw me and looked me up and down. I realized then that I really didn’t have a shirt on as Jett reached me and handed me the t-shirt. I grabbed it and pulled it over my head as I walked towards the doctor.

“She’s fully awake now but a bit disorientated, your presence might help,” he said to me as I smiled.

“Thanks Doc,” I said as I opened the door to her room.

Sierra was sitting up in the bed and my heart started beating rapidly as she looked at me. Her eyes seemed bluer and she had a healthy glow to her skin even though her hair was messy, she still looked beautiful to me.

“Where am I?” she asked as the doctor pushed past me.

“You’re in the Enforcer clowder, in the infirmary, what do you remember?” he asked her.

“I have to go,” she said as she looked at me warily.

“Go where, Sierra?” I asked her.

“They’ll find me,” she said and shivered involuntarily. “How do you know my name?”

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked Doc as he watched me carefully.

“Sierra, do you know who this is?” Doc asked her as he pointed to me.

“I’ve never seen him before in my life,” she said.

“What the hell is going on, Doc?” I asked him, raising my voice a little.

“I don’t know,” he said as he looked from her to me.

“You don’t remember the trial? Living in my house with me? Being kidnapped by the Hastings pack?” I asked her.

“What?” she asked looking bewildered.

“Griffin waged war against the Hastings pack and saved you, you’ve been here for ten days,” Doc said, frowning at her.

“Are they dead?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“What trial and why would I live with you?” She asked, sounding almost hysterical.

“Maybe you should leave, Griffin, let me calm her down,” Doc said.

I looked back at Sierra, feeling the pull towards her as she looked at me with big eyes. I took a step backwards and tried not to slam the door as I closed it behind me. I sat down in the hallway with my back leaning against the wall, not knowing what else to do.

I was lost in thought when the door opened and the doctor stepped outside, giving me a look that I couldn’t quite decipher. I stood up and he motioned for me to follow him as he turned and started walking down the hall.

“I gave her a sedative so she’s sleeping now,” he said once he sat down behind his desk in his office.

“Why can’t she remember?” I asked him.

“I don’t know, there’s no medical reason for her not to remember. She’s in perfect health,” he said.

“You’re a doctor!” I said angrily.

“Yes, Griffin, a doctor, not a magician. She remembers running from the Hastings pack and being in Caratunk where they caught up to her and escaped again, the rest is a blank,” he said.

“Was she poisoned somehow to forget?” I asked him.

“There was nothing in her system when you brought her in,” he said and lowered his gaze.

“Inform me when she wakes up,” I said to him and left his office.

I walked back to the house feeling like something inside of me had died. If she didn’t feel the bond with me, how was I supposed to win her back? She didn’t remember anything. At some point Kane joined me and whined softly in my head as he read my emotions and looked at my memories.

“Claudette,” Kane said and I looked at him.

“What about her?” I asked him and then wondered if she could help. She was the strongest witch in existence.

“She did this,” Kane said as he looked at me thoughtfully.

“Why would she do this if she showed me the way?” I asked.

“She never mentioned the price you’d pay and you didn’t ask,” he said.

The truth felt daunting and it came rushing at me like a freight train as I stumbled upstairs to my room, struggling to breathe. Was this my punishment? Had she really sent me to save her only to make her forget me?

“Quaere coram Claudette,” I said as my fists clenched and unclenched.

I was taken back to the empty room and this time I was better prepared for the wave of dizziness that followed me. I closed my eyes knowing that the transformation of the room would add to my discomfort and I could feel something in the air as I opened my eyes to find Claudette lounging on the same wingback chair.

“Back so soon?” she asked with a smile on her lips. “You’d have me believe that you still feel something.”

“Did you do this?” I asked her.

“Do what?”

“Take Sierra’s memories! Was that the payment for finding her?” I asked.

“It’s your punishment, Griffin,” she said and her eyes blazed as I took a step towards her.

“For rejecting you?” I asked her and she laughed suddenly.

“What we had was a mere fling, Griffin, I’m not petty enough to think we’d ever be more than that. The universe is punishing you for your wallowing, your misery, your exile, your complete lack of faith in your clowder and lastly for giving up on life,” she said.

“I never gave up on life,” I said to her.

“But you did, Griffin. You focused solely on finding the one’s responsible for your mother’s death that you gave up on everything else, lived in exile and broke off every bond you ever had with the living. If not for Kane you’d have nobody,” she said.

Her words hit home like only the truth could and it stared me straight in the eye as I sagged down on another chair and hung my head in my hands. She was right, I gave up everything and concentrated only on finding the hunters.

“How do I fix it?” I asked her.

“I’ve always been intrigued by how the bond works between you beings,” she said as she sat up straight.

“The bond only shows you the perfect fit for your soul, the bond won’t work if there’s no emotion,” I said to her.

“The bond makes you feel those emotions,” she said.

“No, the bond pushes you together but you can resist it, it’s not a magic love potion,” I said.

“So you love her?” she asked me.

“I haven’t loved anyone in a very long time, not even myself. I don’t know if what I feel is love or not but I know that I care about her,” I said.

“Is caring about her enough to save her?” she asked and raised an eyebrow as she looked at me.

“She’s my perfect fit, the one that will accept me no matter what and the same for me with her, I’d like the chance to explore the bond with her,” I said.

“And what if I told you that exploring this bond will lead to her death?” she asked me.

“Does it?” I asked.

“Answer me truthfully,” she said.

“If bonding with me causes her any pain then it’s best if she doesn’t remember me,” I said honestly.

“You’d give up your only chance at love so she could live a human life?” she asked me.

“What good would our love be if she suffered because of it? If she lives a human life at least she can find happiness the human way,” I said, feeling my heart shatter.

“It hurts doesn’t it?”

“Does she die because of me?” I asked her.

“No, she doesn’t,” Claudette said and I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“Then I want this bond with her,” I said.

“As you wish Griffin,” she said and her face remained stoic.

“You’ll give her back her memories?” I asked.

“I never said that, you’re going to have to do this the old-fashioned way. If you want her, then win her over,” she said.

“What about the bond?” I asked.

“Make a new one. Now leave,” she said and I felt my eyes close involuntarily.

I sat up straight in my bed as sweat beaded my forehead. Kane looked up from the bed and yawned lazily as he looked at me. My memories were hazy but Claudette’s words were stuck in my head. This time I’d have to fight for what I wanted.

“You were right,” I said to Kane.