Chapter 73

Dora

"Don't lie to me, Dora. I know you loved me. We were good together. There was something special between us," he states, and drives off, moving through the street faster than he should.

Jacob had always been that one person that could see through me. I'm so pathetic. For once I have this chance to fix everything and instead I keep lying to myself, to him. I open my mouth to tell him that he is wrong, but then I change my mind as he continues to speed through the streets of London.

Finally when he stops the car outside the office, I can breathe again.

"I'll call you if I have any updates. Goodbye, Jacob," I say and get out of the car as soon as I can. He doesn't stop me and I'm glad that he doesn't insist on dwelling on the subject. Maybe he understands that we have nothing else to talk about. That hot kiss in the lift was part of my wild imagination.

I drag my legs up to the tenth floor, filled with guilt and heartache. Jacob's case seems like a challenge, but I can win this, show the judge that, based on the evidence, Sarah Willcock ruined his reputation by writing lies about him. Dad doesn't believe that I have the skills or abilities to be a good lawyer, but I can show him that he is wrong by winning this case. This whole suit will bring a lot of money to the practise. Maybe then Dad will finally start to acknowledge me.

Yesterday after that disastrous night with Jacob, I hired a new secretary. She most definitely will make my life easier. There are so many other cases that I'm involved in that it's a constant juggling act, so I need to start taking my job more seriously. The girl isn't Lindsey, but she will learn fast, grasp the important tasks.

I have a heap of messages when I get to the office—one saying Dad wants to see me urgently. I sigh, flopping at the desk, when Mike appears at the door, looking serious.

"We need to talk, like right now," Mike states, closing the door once I drop into the chair. I roll my eyes, wondering if Sarah Willcock will change her tune soon. She must know that her paper won't risk dragging this case all the way to court.

"Mike, I really haven't got time for this right now. I have so much work to do. Jacob is my client, that's all. There is nothing going on between us," I tell him, checking through my emails.

"Darling, look at me. I have something important to tell you, so stop fobbing me off," he says. I lift my eyes, sighing, and then sit back. Mike looks serious, and he never looks serious.

"I don't like that look on your face. What's happened?"

"Jacob's old teammate Patrick Sweeney leaked information about him to get him thrown off the team. That's why that bitch Sarah Willcock wrote an article about him. He added the stuff about hookers and the brothel to make sure that this would ruin your Jacob," Mike says, with that strange gleam in his eye.

My jaw drops and that shaky feeling in my spine just goes through me.

"What are you talking about? This can't be the truth."

"Oh my god, you just insulted me."

"Mike, be serious. There is no way something like that would even happen. Jacob is so likeable," I say, wondering what the hell he's talking about. Sarah Willcock must have had more than this.

"Oh, Dora, you really have no idea what is going on around you. When you told me about this case last night I knew that this whole thing sounded dodgy, so I went out and did a bit of my own digging. It turns out that Jack, a guy I used to hang out with, is Patrick's cousin. I bought him a few drinks and, before he knew what was going on, he started telling me all about his cousin. I had a clear picture of your beloved before the night was over. I don't know, darling. Patrick held some kind of grudge against Jacob, and he wanted him off the team. This whole set-up worked. When the article came out, Jacob was thrown out, and his mother cursed him out. He went back to London. That is the whole story."

My head feels like it's still in a bubble from the morning. Mike knows a lot of people in London. He used to work as a PR rep for one of sports celebrities, so I shouldn't really be surprised.

"An hour ago we were in Sarah Willcock's office threatening her with the lawsuit. She didn't budge, and I presume that she is ready to go all the way."

"I have done all this for you, darling, so you can kick that bitch's arse and get your boy back." He chuckles, playing with my stationary.

"Thank you, Mike, but you should know we are not going to get back together. I'll win the case, and he will go back to his life–"

"Why, because you told him all the lies that you're in love?"

"It's easier this way. I was the one that cheated on him, not the other way around. He's only using me right now because he wants to shag me again," I say sadly, feeling even more pathetic now. This whole thing doesn't make any sense. I'm lying to him, like I have been for the last five years.

"Dora, sorry to interrupt, but your father wants to see you now," says Angela, popping into my office. Mike has that smirk on his face, the one that says that he is up to something. Maybe I should tell him the whole truth, everything from start to finish. I've been hiding my true self from everyone.

"Go, go, you can thank me later. Just tell your boy toy to introduce me to a hot guy from his team, preferably gay," Mike calls after me. My father's office is at the back of the building. He seems busy there. I knock lightly, feeling my nerves churning in my stomach. He will most probably treat me like an idiot again, not like the daughter that he hasn't spoken to properly for years.

"Dora, there you are. Close the door. I need to talk to you about the Radcliffe case," he says, giving me his usual clipped tone of voice. Cold and detached as always, like he wants nothing to do with me. I obey him and then sit down on the chair, knowing that I will have the urge to self-harm shortly because I'm not enough. I'm never good enough for him. He treats his staff better.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask. He clears his throat and smiles. This is odd because he never smiles.

"I'm stunned that you took on the case of your ex-boyfriend. According to your new assistant you were with him this morning, confronting this journalist," he states, sounding like he is proud of me. God, do I need to start panicking already? Something must be wrong for him to be so pleasant.

"Yes, we dated when I was at Braxton. I was ready to hand the file out to someone else, but Jacob can be persistent," I explain, shifting on the chair.

"Good, I'm glad. This is a great advert for our practice, and if this verdict swings our way, he will open the door for other professional athletes to choose our firm. Well done, Dora. I know that I can be hard on you sometimes, but I'm glad that you put aside your differences and are acting so professional."

The warmth in my heart does something to me. I don't really know what's happening right now. My father never speaks to me like this. He is normally cold.

"I'm only doing what was right for us," I say, knowing this is my chance to speak up, to tell him that we should start spending some time together. Over the years I felt like I never fit into his perfect life. That's why I kept lying to everyone.

"I'm proud; that's what I wanted to tell you. Keep up the good work and win the lawsuit. Maybe I should apologise about that incident earlier in the week. Lindsey was good, but everyone makes mistakes. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you that this wasn't your error," Dad adds, looking uncomfortable. I want the ground to open up and swallow me. Right in this moment I should be jumping for joy or at least telling him the truth, but no. I'm too cowardly to say what happened that day and why I sacrificed my good friend who now probably hates me.

"I have to go. I have a meeting now," I mumble, drop my eyes and leave, heading straight to the bathroom with my bag, knowing I have a card case with antibacterial wipes and fresh razor blades in it. I had my chance, but I've ruined it again.

Jacob

My mind has been elsewhere this morning. I was distracted through my training session. It went well, but I was thinking about Dora again. Yesterday everything went perfectly, but then I had to go home knowing that she lied to me again.

She did love me back then—I know she did—you can't fake that kind of love. But she betrayed us. I took it hard, harder than I expected. Then everything fell apart.

"What was going on today, Radcliffe? You forgot how to be tough?" shouts one of the boys, Marcus, I believe. The training hadn't gone exactly to plan. I was distracted the whole time, and I should be doing much better. I want to find my place in this team to this whole city. I want to be happy in my life, and establishing myself here is important for that. Once I get my revenge with Dora though, where will that leave me? That kiss yesterday reminded me exactly why I wanted her in the first place. My heart came alive again, like the years we've been living apart just didn't matter.

"No, I was going easy on you. Didn't want to hurt you, man," I joke back as we all head back to the changing room. I need a massage tonight, a good one to relax me and work out my tension. Pete has a number, but when I think about it seriously, I'm not sure it's a good idea to get involved with the guy that keeps offering me the hard stuff, knowing that I'm in recovery.

A few of my teammates banter back and forth ending in calling me a pussy, while they start hitting the showers. I gingerly shuck off my training clothes. All of us are covered in cold, wet mud, but this torture is just the beginning. The coach has more stuff planned.

"Hey, so I heard you're suing the bitch," says Pete, approaching me.

"Yeah, me and my hot lawyer. We're going ahead with it," I tell him, wondering why I started hanging out with him in the first place.

"Who do you mean? I thought you were fucking Kim?"

"Nah, I'm not interested in crazy! This girl is someone that I used to date. She is going to kick Willcock's arse, and maybe make me even richer than I already am." I laugh. Pete mutters something about another party this weekend, but I tell him that I have something else in mind entirely.

I take my time in the changing room. By the time I finally decide to have a shower, all my teammates are gone. Thoughts of Dora and the two of us together in the past keep occupying my mind. I need her to admit that she still wants me and I want her to forget about that Rob. Once she loses him, I'll step in and show her some affection, before I end it and my revenge plan once and for all.

I wrap the towel around my waist, thinking about what kind of coward I've turned into. She's not the woman for me, so why do I still feel so strongly about her, about my fucked up feelings? I'm not Oliver, who played the girl all the way and then crushed her because of something that she did to him in the past. This is different. So why is this stupid voice in my head telling me it's something else?

The water drips down my chest, as I walk back into the changing room and shove the door of the locker away. Something falls on the ground, and then a familiar voice startles me all of a sudden.

"What is it?"

I turn abruptly to see Dora at the door. She is looking at the small package of green that fell out of my locker, along with white powder. Right, I know about the weed, but the coke? I haven't done that shit since I went to rehab a couple of months ago.

"Dora, what are you doing here? I don't think we have an appointment today," I say, hoping to divert her from an uncomfortable subject. I was weak before, addicted to drugs, dependent on stuff just to get through the day, but that's not the case anymore.

She pales slightly, but closes the door behind her, walking up to me. This shit is serious.

"I asked you a question. What the hell just fell out of your locker?"

That's it. I think it's time to tell her the truth, to let her know that this all started because of her.