Chapter 170: Sam's Point Of view

Sam’s Point of view

I wasn't supposed to entertain these feelings–I shouldn't have let myself fall this deep, I should have stopped myself before I did but I didn't stop myself–I don't think I want to stop myself. I love the way I felt, I wanted to feel this way.

But I won't want anything in return. I will keep them to myself and try to move on without getting caught. I didn't want to ruin my relationship with my brother, we came a long way–our relationship mattered more than anything else..

I sucked in a sharp breath before I made my way inside the house. I found her seated on the couch. The sound of her laughter was soft music in my ears, her beautiful face glowing with joy. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat as I forced myself out of my daze–she was in another man's arms–my brother's arms. She can never be mine no matter how much I wanted her, I doubt if she'd ever spare me a glance. I should pull myself together, go to my room and sleep. With that in mind, I made my way inside and forced a smile.

“Good evening..” I forced my words down my throat.

“Hey, Sam. What's up?” Nicholas shifted his attention to me but my eyes were on her. She glanced at me briefly and looked away.

“I'm cool..” I lied. How can I tell my brother that I envy what he has? There's no way I'd ever do that to him. He deserves this happiness and I'm not going to ruin it for my selfish reasons. “Umm, see you tomorrow. I'm exhausted. I need to rest.”

“Sure, see you tomorrow.” Nicholas muttered.

I didn't wait another second and made my way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and then go to sleep. As I flung the fridge door open, the sound of footsteps echoed approaching. I shut the door and my heart skipped an unhealthy beat as she stepped into the kitchen. No woman has ever made my heart race wildly like she does, she brings out this reaction out of me without my permission.

“What brings you here?” I opened the door again and pretended to be looking inside–I couldn't bear the thought of being close to me knowing I didn't have any right to do anything except dying with longing of what I can never have.

“We need to talk.” Her voice was soft.

“Not today.”

“Don't fuck with me, Sam.”

I shut the door and stared at her. “What do you want, Samantha?”

She let out a sharp breath. “Are you friends with Cassandra?”

My brow lifted. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Just answer the question?” She clenched her teeth as she asked.

“She tried to get close to me.” I leaned against the walls, my gaze locking with hers. “she was asking a lot of questions about you.”

Samantha narrowed her eyes. “What kind of question?”

“What's going on?” I couldn't help but ask. “Why do you want to know about her?”

Her face flushed red. “She's stalking me. She knows everything about me, what I wear, eat and all my schedule. I thought maybe you might be working with her.”

My stomach hardened. “You don't trust me, do you?” I couldn't help but ask. I know I've been bad and made a lot of wrong decisions but I've changed. I won't ever try to hurt her because she's the only person bringing joy in my brother's life. I can't take that away from him no matter what.

“I'm sorry, okay.” She shrugged. “Anyone in my place would have asked the same question. I'm just worried she's planning something dangerous.”

My nostrils flared. “And you thought I was working with her, right? For your information, Samantha I'm not working with her. If you are done questioning me, can I go?”

Samantha let out a sharp breath. “I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have suspected you. I'm just worried.”

I shook my head. “I'm no longer that kind of a person. But it's clear that you still don't trust me after everything that has happened. You think I'd harm my brother for my selfish reasons.”

I tried to walk past her but she grabbed my hand, stopping me in my tracks. Her touch sent an electric jolt rushing through my blood, awakening emotions that were supposed to stay hidden. I quickly pushed her hand off me and took a step back. “Do you have any more questions?” I averted my gaze from hers.

“Look, I know you can never harm your brother again but that doesn't mean you can't harm me. I was just making sure you weren't working with her and if I offended you by doing so. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.” She tried to explain and to be honest, it was understandable, especially after everything I put her through. I made her unable to trust me and that cut deeper than a blade in my heart.

I cleared my throat.. “It's alright.” I forced words out of my mouth.

“You are not upset with me, are you?” She asked.

“What I feel doesn't matter.” I muttered. “Can I go now?”

“Sam, look at me..” She commanded and like a fool I thought I wasn't, I looked into her eyes. My breath quickened against my will–she was supposed to be mine but now I'm forced to watch her as my brother's soon to be wife–I ruined it all with both hands.

“You need to let go of these feelings.”

I couldn't let go of them–I wanted to feel what I'm feeling right now.

“You can get any woman you want and settle down. I really don't want to see you breaking your heart for no reason. I wish to see you happy, you deserve it too.”.

Samantha continued but all I wanted was her. I didn't want anyone else, I wanted her even when I knew she belonged to someone else, even when I knew I could never have her no matter how much I wanted.

After a few minutes of silence. She walked away without looking back.

I stood there long after she'd gone, staring at the doorway as though she'd return.She never would.