CHAPTER 28 — FIONA

There were days when Fiona Wilkinson truly believed she was cursed—days like the day her father returned home with the less than pleasant news that she was getting married to his best friend, Gregory Wilkinson. Days like the day she was dragged, kicking and screaming to the home of Gregory. Days like the day her innocence was stolen by the vile old man. Days like the day she found out she was to bear his child.

There were other days, however, when she honestly believed she was blessed. A perfect example of such a day was the day she realized she had lost the baby and, thankfully, her ability to birth more babies. An eternity with Gregory was a curse, but an eternity with Gregory and his offspring—irrespective of the fact that those offspring would come from her own body—would have been too much to bear. She believed she was blessed the day Gregory fell ill. God and the Earth, which was most likely tired of his presence, defiling it mysteriously smote him. Gregory’s illness wasn’t one that could be cured.

She truly believed she was blessed when the vile old man, to redeem himself, had willed everything to her before his death.

Fiona took a sip of her coffee, a smile tugging on the corners of her lips. It was all worth it, she mused. Being with Gregory, even if the mere thought of his wrinkly old skin made her cringe, was well worth it. They had thrown five years of her life to the dogs, and for that, she deserved every penny willed to her.

Gregory’s death did not just bring about a substantial fortune, it ended her father’s control over her life. No longer could he force her into doing his will, no longer could he toss her into the arms of an old man, no longer could he threaten her! She was free, and with her freedom came a great sense of independence.

She spent her time and money traveling and the world, but necessity had forced her to remain in Wichita Falls until the winter passed. Buying a boarding house and choosing to live in Wichita Falls had not been a part of her plan until she met Raymond.

She placed her teacup on the coffee table and leaned back against her seat as her mind wandered to Raymond. She had been so enthralled by him she had been shocked at her own interest in a man. Of course, he wasn’t the most handsome man she had seen, but he had gained her attention, and she had satisfied her own curiosity by kissing him. It was a foolish decision, but it was one she did not regret, even with the knowledge of his marriage to another woman. She had never wanted a man before, and now that she wanted one, she would not back down easily.

Rising to her feet, she smiled at the guests at the breakfast table and excused herself. She had been trapped in the boarding house for enough and was feeling a sense of claustrophobia. A stroll to ward off the horrid feeling would have to do for now.

“Greta!” she shrieked, her eyes simultaneously sweeping the halls in search of the maid. The maid hurried to her and curtsied. “Do find my shawl and my parasol, will you?” She didn’t wait for Greta’s response before heading for the front door and into the blazing sun.

She waited on the front porch until Greta arrived and placed the shawl over her shoulders. With a nod of her head, the maid opened the parasol and held it over Fiona’s head, as they made their way through the walkway and into the streets.

They strolled through town; Fiona hardly impressed by anything. She was about to turn around and head back to the boarding house, when a familiar female with six children caught her attention.

One child had stopped on the sidewalk and was pointing at something on the ground. From her features, it was quite obvious that she was Raymond’s youngest child. Lily was shaking her head and trying to urge the child forward as Fiona approached, forcing a smile to her lips.

“Hello, Mrs. McAllister.” Fiona waved cheerfully, gaining Lily’s attention. A frown settled on Lily’s face when she saw her.

“Fiona.” She offered her a nod and leaned down to brush the child’s hair with her hand.

Fiona studied the children for a long while, doubting Lily’s ability to have given birth to them. Raymond, in his drunkenness, had spoken about an ad and ordering a bride through it. He had also mentioned his wife being pregnant and his need to get rid of the child. He had been afraid if he didn’t get home on time, it would be too late to get rid of it. Fiona wondered if he had gotten rid of the child, her attention moving back to Lily and slipping to her flat stomach.

“I must say how lovely your children are.” Fiona offered the children a smile, deciding that Lily was no longer pregnant.

“We must be on our way.” Lily offered Fiona a nod.

“But Papa said to meet him here,” one child chirped.

Fiona smiled at the child. “Perhaps Raymond will take a while to show up. You may wait in my boarding house. We had a late breakfast only an hour ago and I’m sure there will be left over cookies, biscuits, toast, eggs, milk, juice…”

“Oh, please, Mama!” One boy turned fully to Lily, his eyes bulging.

“How will your Papa know where to find us?” Lily offered him a disapproving look.

“Greta will wait here,” Fiona said, grabbing the parasol from the maid’s hands. “And will be sure to inform Mr. McAllister that his children are safe from the terrible heat.” She offered Lily a pleading smile.

It was a few more minutes before Lily conceded and the party made their way back to the boarding house.

Once the children were left to their midday snack, Fiona beckoned Lily to join her in the garden.

“I apologize,” she began as Lily settled down beside her. “Perhaps you misunderstood when I said I watched your husband sleep. Raymond was drunk that evening and it forced me to escort him to his room. I can, however, assure you it was nothing indecent, and I only stayed behind because I had a silly inkling, he might try to harm himself.”

Lily’s eyes remained planted on the flowers. “Perhaps I misunderstood that part. But you conceded to being attracted to Raymond. Tell me, Fiona, did I misunderstand that as well?” She turned to Fiona, her eyes challenging.

“You did not,” Fiona began, threading carefully. “Any woman with eyes will find Raymond attractive.”

“Any woman with common sense will not concede to such indecent thinking to his wife.”

“Ah.” Fiona giggled nervously, rising to her feet. “Perhaps. But I am not lacking common sense, just a sense of shame. Forgive me, will you not?”

Lily rose to her feet and dusted her gray skirt. “Perhaps it is best I do not forgive you. Frankly, I do not trust you.”

“Your lack of trust will do nothing but depict you as a fearful woman. I have done nothing to make you afraid of me.”

“Except admit to being attracted to my husband!” Lily spat.

Fiona sighed, exasperated. “I have been attracted to many men, none of which have had to leave their wives!”

“Your admission paints you in a poor light, Fiona. I must leave now.”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake!” Fiona called after Lily’s retreating form, desperate. “Do understand that I have done a terrible thing by making you loathe me, when all I want is a companion. I should know a thing or two about loneliness with the death of my husband.” That seemed to get Lily’s attention, halting her. Fiona buried her face in her hands and let out a sob she hoped would gain the sympathy of the woman before her. “Gregory stripped me of my family when he took me away from my home. He separated me from my friends and I was forced to live under his abusive roof until death showed me pity and took him from me. Now, I am left with barely a life and no family of my own. Forgive me for finding your husband attractive, Lily, but next to a wrinkly old man, even a pig is more appealing.” She wept then, her tears flowing from the emptiness of her heart.

“I had no idea.” Lily touched her arm.

She shook her head. “Of course not, of course you didn’t!” She fell into Lily’s arms and wept against her shoulder. “It was such a horror living with a man who could never love me,” she said as Lily led her back to the seat in the garden. She wiped her eyes with her sleeves and sniffed. “I’m sorry, I’m a terrible mess.”

Lily shook her head. “I know the horror of a marriage without love,” she whispered brokenly into the air. “I understand.”

Fiona grabbed her hands then. “Surely, he loves you!”

Lily glanced down. “There are days when I am delusional enough to believe he does. But most days, I know he doesn’t.” She raised her head, reaching forward to wipe Fiona’s teary face with her sleeves.

Fiona sat silently, fighting the urge to smile—a loveless marriage wouldn’t be difficult to break.

“We must visit with each other more often,” Fiona said, taking both of Lily’s hands captive. “We have too much in common to not be friends.”

Lily nodded, before reaching forward and engulfing Fiona in a hug.