Chapter 49: Can't help it

KAITLYN

I touch my lips for the fifth time and feel my belly knot again.

We are inside the car, heading back to his house.

After what happened in there, I doubt if I will be able to face Jessie ever again.

The nonstop scenes of Nikolai kissing me in front of Jesse are so cringeworthy that I can't help but shiver in disgust whenever they haunt my mind.

But what's more terrifying is the fact that I did not push him away. Instead, I let him explore my mouth as much as he wanted before. I don't know if it's this fear of losing Jesse or just something I cannot understand.

I glance over at Nikolai and feel chills rush over my body. His eyes are fixed on the road ahead. His hands are gripping the wheel so tightly that I can see his veins popping out.

He's surely upset, and I'm afraid he might not let this go so easily. He might hurt Jesse.

If I had known that Jesse was alright, I swear I would have remained back home.

This was what he wanted anyways. He played that prank on me to make me break the rules of the contract, and then led me into becoming more submissive to him for the sake of Jesse’s life.

He doesn't say a word to me or even spare me a glance until he drives into the house.

When he turns off the engine of the car, he steps out and begins to walk away without saying a single word to me. I stare at him from the window with my heart racing.

Normally, he always opens the door for me or yells that I step out before he leaves. Today, he acted differently.

I sigh loudly, open the door, and step out myself, then begin to trail after him into the house.

I stare at his broad back as he strides into the house without a single glance at me.

“Mrs Rider!” The voice of the headmaid makes me jump when I enter the house.

I spin around and look up in her direction.

I don't know why, but I feel relief washing up my body when I see her.

She stops what she is doing and swings her head in the direction of the stairs, staring at her master who is ascending the stairs without paying her any attention.

She lets out a sigh that must be of relief before facing me.

“When you rushed out of the house without telling anyone this morning, I thought something bad must have happened to you or someone close to you,” she mutters.

I scoff loudly and shake my head.

I don't think I'm able to tell her what has happened. I have to be careful with the way I say his brother's name around to avoid getting him into trouble this time.

“Not really, but everything is okay now. No one is hurt,” I answer.

She sighs loudly and rubs her warm hand on my freezing arm.

“Go take a shower, I will make you some tea,” she mutters, but I shake my head in disagreement.

“I don't want to drink anything,” I reply, and she smiles.

“Okay then, I'll make you a meal. Your birth is already prepared. Take a bath and wait for me, I'll bring your food to your room,” She says.

I nod and ascend the stairs to my room. I reach for the knob, but to my surprise, my door is slightly open.

Didn't the headmaid close the door properly when she finished preparing the bath?

I sigh loudly and push the door wider, then walk in and slam it shut.

“This is crazy,” I mutter in frustration and turn around, but yell and jump when my eyes fall on a figure at my window.

My heart races, and chills rush over my body as I stare at Nikolai, wondering what he is doing in my room.

“What do you want?" I ask in a quivering voice.

He turns around, his face stern and lips twitching up in anger.

He doesn't say anything. Instead, he stands there, staring at me with darkened eyes full of anger.

I sigh loudly and rub my body that has goosebumps spread over the skin.

“I… I want to take a shower…” I pause, but he says nothing.

"Can you leave so I can take a shower, please?” I ask again.

Frustration and anger begin to replace the fear dwelling in me when he remains at the spot. It's almost half an hour and he will neither say anything nor leave like I asked.

I take a deep breath and curse under my breath before raising my head to look into his eyes again.

"Look, I know you're upset about what happened between your brother and me, and I apologize for that, even though we have to pretend like you don't fuck other women when you go out…” I pause and slam my lips shut when he scoffs at my last words.

"You still don't feel sorry, do you?” He asks.

Well, I don't, and I wish I could do that again and again.

I want to say that to him, but I keep shut for Jesse's safety.

“I do, I just hate that you sleep around and get upset–”

"That bastard is my mother's stepson!” He growls and smashes the glass of whiskey in his hand.

My heart drops into the bottom of my belly, and I scream out in horror as splinters fly around the room.

I grip my head, my legs shaking in fear.

“You think I fuck around because I haven't touched you yet? I guess that's the only way to show you if I do or not,” he mutters in a calm voice, and I shiver from I am standing.

I can't even look up at him because of the fear he put in me with that wild reaction.

I feel his cold hand grab my chin roughly, and I gasp as he raises my head.

My body freezes when he kisses me roughly.

I should fight him off or struggle at least, but I can't.

Instead, I foolishly close my eyes and submit to his touch. His tongue explores my mouth, and his hand grabs my waist and presses my body against him.

My breath hitches as he bites my bottom lip and almost crushes my bones with his hands around my waist.

I feel one of his hands leave my waist and graze my skin, moving towards my neck.

I gasp into his mouth when he gives my nipples a small squeeze.

My shaking hands slowly find their way to his shoulders and drop there while he fumbles with my boobs and wrestles with my tongue.

I can feel his hardness against my belly, and just the thought of it is making me drip crazy.

Fuck! What is going on?!

He pulls the band of my underwear and teases my thighs with his fingertips, causing my body to heat up some more.

I moan out before I can stop myself, and my hold on his shoulder tightens.

I can feel my walls constrict as my juices drop.

His finger traces the folds of my cunt, and a moan escapes my lips again.

The thought of revenge is out of my mind right now, the only thing I can think about is the feel of him thrusting into me… shit! What's he doing to my head?

“Fuck, you're so wet," he whispers when he breaks the kiss to let me catch my breath.

‘You have a chance now, push him off and end this!’ the little voice in my head screams a warning.

I take a deep breath, and instead of pulling away now that I have the chance, I close the little gap between our faces again and continue the kiss.