Chapter 12

Jealousy.

MICHAEL's

"Are you ready to open it?"

I took a deep breath before I nodded. It was 3 pm and it was time for us to open the note given to us. Kyle and I were nervous as I slowly opened it. We read it out loud, and just like Maureen and Ram's note, we have 10 minutes to prepare ourselves.

"Is that also written?" Ashley asked. I nodded at her. Sadness, pity and grief are on their faces. I looked shocked when Ashley took my hands. She looked at me straight in the eyes. Whatever her reaction, I still can’t deny that she is beautiful in my eyes. She really looked so beautiful even in her messy bun hair and worried face.

She smiled at me.

"Good luck," she said then looked at my twin, "Good luck .. good luck to both of you ..." she would have let go of my hand but I held it even harder.

"I'll come back for you. I won't let you fight here alone, okay?" I sincerely said. "You have me 'til the end." I continued.

After I said, we had already passed them. I don't know, I just want to protect Ashley. If then I was numb, but now I am not, my face is thick now and I'll do anything for her. I'll protect her at all costs. I'll protect her no matter what happens— I will protect her because that's the least that I can do. If I can’t have her heart, maybe I can save her life.

Maureen cried again while Cristina just staring at us. Don looked away, while Matthew nodded his head at us. I nodded to him and smiled a little as well. Not to judge him, but I smell something 'bout him, the way he looked at Ashley— I can really say that he's into her. Matthew is a silent person, he can't even say a word but I know and I really feel that he has also feelings for Ashley.

If he can't let his feelings out, then I can. That's one more thing I'd love to prove to Ashley, that I can win over him.

My twin had already approached me to leave so even though, we don’t want it to go inside us— we still don’t have a choice but do nothing and enter the gear area and get dressed.

"Are you ready?" I asked. Kyle just shrugged off and smiled. "Whatever," he spoke.

Then we went out and moved to the activity area. As soon as we stepped in, the door closed right away. There is a running time on the TV and a box on the table under of it.

"5 .. 4 .. 3 .." says the timer.

"2 .. 1. Read the box below." We read it.

Huh? We were astonished as we approached the table. We opened the box and a note showed up after. I harshly grabbed it and read.

"'he was always there but never here

he wants it but never gets it

he was feed off but always starving

he's an ever seeking but never finding

he wants to exist but hate to live

he was there, always been there—

and he could kill.

what is he? "

Damn, a riddle? The hell. This is really insane. What a game, indeed.

"What is this?" I asked my twin. He took his glasses off, after cleaning it, he put it back and grabbed the note from my hand.

His whole body shaken after reading it.

"I'm not .. sure," he trailed off.

I don't know anything 'bout riddles. My twin is smarter so I trust him. I waited for his response but he refused to answer. I got bored of waiting, I called him out.

"This is for our own sake, Kyle," I insisted.

"I'm not sure, okay?!" I was surprised when he raised his voice to me.

"When did you learn to answer me that?" I asked angrily. Damn, Kyle never did this to me. Kyle is a soft-hearted one, obedient, and even more respectable person. This is the first time he yelled at me, so I was very surprised.

"You don't care." And once more. What the fuck? Is he disrespecting me? I chased after him and grabbed his sleeve.

"Mom won't like your behavior," I reminded.

I got shocked when he laughed sarcastically. "Dude, come on! I'm not a kid anymore, okay? I shouldn't have called you brother because in the first place— we're only minutes apart."

Damn. "What's happening to you?! We just read your riddle and you are now acting like this? Tell me what's it?" I asked with authority voice.

"It's jealousy! Okay?!" He shouted back. I was so upset with his attitude that I immediately pointed him.

"What's wrong with you ?!" I shouted. I can't accept that of all people, it's my twin who doesn't give me respect.

In just a second, I fell off. I was caught in the nose because of the sheer force of his punch. I even feel the blood running on it.

"What the fuck?!" I cursed, not expecting him to punch me. I was shocked again when he attacked me and then punched me again. I don't have any choice but to fight and stop him.

"What is happening to you?!" I'm confused by his actions. I don’t know why he is acting like this today.

"Is the word triggered you that much?" I added. He pushed me so hard that I backed away from him. He looked so fuming mad, and 'til now I don't get it why is he acting like this.

"Yes! Yes! What? And that’s fun, to be honest! That riddle reminds me so much of my life! And yes, it triggers me!" He shouted again.

"Or do you want me to elaborate the riddle?" He said sarcastically.

"he was always there but never here— I .. I am always there .." my heart ached when I saw tears in his eyes. "I was always there at my mom's side but .. but she didn't see me. Why? Because she always sees you! You are his favorite son, right?" He growled. Fuck, no, I'm not!

I approached him but I what I got is his big fist.

"he wants it but never gets it," and he slightly laughed, "I just want an attention from all of you but why I can't get it?" He wiped his tears off.

I still tried to come closer but he just punched me again. I am now teary-eyed. I don't care anymore if he'll hurt me. I badly want him to know that his speculations are not true. I know, I know mom treated us the same way.

I just let him beat me. Fuck, I think I'm numb. I don't feel any pain, because what hurts me more now is what he says.

"he was feed off passion but always starving," he chuckled and punched me again. "I am always the top 1 for pete's sake! I always climb to the top for you all to notice my achievements! But why? Why is it still lacking? To all .. to— to all the achievements I got— mom never congratulated and complimented me. Fuck you! " He scolded me.

"But when I was only in the top 2 in High School? Mom was so angry because why couldn't grab 1st place? Fuck it, brother! You don’t know my pain! But you know what hurts the most? Even you!" He then pushed me and pointed his finger. "You who were never included in the honors student because you are a very chill student who only plays basketball but she didn't even manage to scold you because she loves you more than me! Fuck favoritism!" He punched me again. I felt my jaw twisted off. I'm also a little weak and my head hurts. Blood dripped from my nose but I still couldn't fight back.

I didn't know he felt like this. It hurts, it really hurts knowing that my own brother felt this kind of feeling. He had been holding this on for a very long time and just like a bomb, he exploded.

"What's next? 'He's an ever seeking but never finding'?" He chuckled again. "I'm always looking for love, care and companionship but I can't find one. Why? We both know that we're not that close, brother! We're just talking here in this group but at home? No! We never had a bond! I- I've been holding this shit for a very long time now, and I badly want to separate myself from this squad but because I envy you, I still tried to get and imitate everything you do. "

I could do nothing but cry. I may look like gay but damn. This is all my fault. I never even asked him how he felt. I never checked him up. My brother has been depressed and I never asked him if he's okay, if how is he and more. I didn’t know.

"he wants to exist but hates to live," then there he laughed so hard and jumped on me. "That's a hundred percent true!" He added and punched me so fucking times.

The blood splatters on the floor. Still not satisfied he banged my head on the floor.

"I want to exist fuck! It's not enough that I just live, I want to be noticed as well! I want all of my hardworks and effort to be recognized!" After he said that he intensified my punch even more.

"How amazing that the person behind this knows us too well. And I am very thankful to this game, wanna know why? Because it gave me a chance to lose you.

he was there, always been there— and he could kill. Jealousy could kill. I'm so sorry kuya. I will win this time. "

That's the last thing I've heard before my vision gets blurred and the darkness takes over me.