I've always loved music, especially live music from all new artists. They bring something unique to the table and there's always a story to be told.
Like right now, as I listen to each artist that comes up on stage, giving us a piece of themselves. James had suggested we go out and in my mind, I'd initially thought he meant the club but no, he picked one of our old spots. Ben's grill.
Ben's grill was a hang out place for high schoolers, though it intended to just be a bar , it proved more then that when more people loved the food more then anything, soon we had live music and whola. Open Mic.
So here we are, open mic at play and me just having a nice time out with my friends. More so my family.
When Theresa and the guys claimed me as part of their family, joy took over my heart. I had people who cared about me so much after losing so much. Growing up it's always been my mom and I, and having her gone had hit me quite hard. So when I got married, I hadn't expected much, guess I was still in the numb stages. As time went on, my heart opened up and it attached itself to Keith, reaching out for his and it still is.
Anyway, I'd always been so focused on Keith that my heart had blocked everyone else, but here I am. My heart has opened up enough space for all these three amazing people, who opened their arms for me. I'm grateful to have them in my life and that once Keith is out of my life, I have people ready to pick me up when I fall, comfort when I need it, love big enough to fill the void of not having an actual relative in my life and friendship, when it had been short in my life.
I'm blessed really, that's why an easy smile just takes over, as I watch my friends dancing on the dance floor, having fun and laughing wholeheartedly, with no weight on their shoulders.
I watch with a smile as London returns back to the table." So when will you join us on the dance floor?" He plops down on the next seat.
" I told you, not much of a dancer and besides, I don't mind watching you guys."
"Come on, anyone can bust a move or two." He says, shaking his shoulders, rising to his feet and coming over to pull me up on my own.
" London - " I try protest but he's already pulling me towards the dance floor.
" Good thing you got her here, or else I would have thrown her over my shoulder and brought her here myself." James says, moving along with Theresa, to the beat of the song.
My jaw drops.
"He's kidding." London says in my ear before he pulls me to him, his hands landing on my waist, having me tense up for a second before I remind myself that this is London, my friend.
I loosen up with that thought, placing my arms around his shoulders as we move along to the now slow song.
" You okay?" He asks and I nod.
" Yes" More than okay.
" I have to say, I had a good time tonight. " I say as we enter into our apartment complex, after trying to dodge the hard rain outside.
" Yeah me too, but I'm beat. I need the bed asap." Theresa says, yawning in the process.
"Yeah, I've got an early morning tomorrow." London groans out, swinging his car keys between his fingers.
" Akiandra!" I stop in my tracks at the sound of my name being called.
Joe, my soon to be ex driver stands at the bottom of the stairs, looking rather wet.
" Akiandra you must come with me. " He says, his voice sounding urgent, his eyes troubled.
"Whoa who are you and what do you want from Kea?" James says, walking down the stairs and blocking Joe's way.
" It's okay James, he's my driver, well my soon to be ex driver. "
"You sure you trust him?" James asks, not moving.
" James " I sigh.
" No , I need to know if you do. Give me your word."
" Yes I trust him, now move will you." James gives Joe a once over before stepping aside. Gosh he can be dramatic.
" Sorry to show up unannounced like this but - "
" What's wrong?" I ask stepping towards him.
" It's Mr Salvatore, he's not looking good." He sighs.
" Keith? - What's wrong with him?" I frown in question.
" He's been out on the rain for too long and now - he doesn't look too well." Oh that stubborn man.
" Call a doctor then." James says.
" Yeah, if you think she'll rock up there after he hurt her, then think again." Theresa adds.
" I figured, but he refuses one and has been mumbling your name." My heart jumps at that.
" Where's he now?" I ask.
" Oh no, don't even think about it." James says, coming over to me, only for me to step down further.
" Back at the house."
" Okay then, take me please. " I tell Joe, who nods and starts leading the way.
" Kea." Theresa calls me, tugging at my arm.
" Thank you for a wonderful night but I have to go."
" Kea you can't keep running when ever anything concerns him." James adds.
" He's my husband, so I have to go." I say.
"Let her go. She needs to." London speaks up for the first time, his eyes laid on me.
I thank him with my eyes before rushing after Joe, who waits with an umbrella by the door.
" Ready?" He asks and I nod.
"Yes."
It seems like just yesterday when I arrived in the mansion as a married woman, now here I am, on the process of a divorce , rushing to attend to my sick, soon to be ex husband. How crazy is that?
I can't forget that he hurt me today, his hurtful words piercing through my heart and making me cry once again. It's the matter of the heart, he consumes me, my every being and I can't stop my heart from beating for him. That's why I'm here now, back to where I'd sworn to never return, rushing to get to him , wanting to attend to him.
" Akiandra?" My head snaps to Joe.
" Are you okay, you've been staring at the house for quite some time now." Joe tells me ,making me aware of my actions.
" Yes, I'm okay." I nod. " Let's go" I tell him, getting out of the car and rushing inside the house and up the stairs.
I feel Joe behind me, but I continue on.
" Oh my gosh, Akiandra - you're here. " Maria gasps in surprise, hand against her chest as she stands at the slightly opened door.
" Yes, is he in there? " I don't know why I even ask, it's a given. I mean it's his room but I believe it's because I'm afraid to enter and see him.
Things didn't end on a good note between us and his words keep on pushing at mind, making me reluctant to enter.
"Yes he is, he's asleep now." I nod, my eyes on the door.
Why can't I go in? This is so frustrating, my feet can't move.
I almost jump out of my skin when I feel a hand placed on my shoulder, I look away from the door and at the hand, my eyes trailing to the owner. Joe.
" I shouldn't have brought you here." He says, concern in his eyes.
My mouth opens and closes, wanting to tell him it's okay but no words come out. What is wrong with me?
Someone takes my hands in theirs. Maria.
" Sweet girl, your heart is troubled. I can see it in your eyes. "
My eyes droop low, not having the courage to admit it.
" It's okay. " I look at her again." It's okay to not want to go in there, it's okay to want to. It's okay. Your choice, it's your choice. Do what you want, no, what your heart needs." She tells me before patting my hands and walking past me, followed by Joe who gives my shoulder a single squeeze, leaving me alone.
I stare at the door, taking deep breaths and searching deep within me for the answer. I step forward, where my palm and head rests against the door. I close my eyes for a moment, wanting this moment alone to think, without any voice of influence.
This is on me now.