Chapter 411: 2-1

Chapter 49.2 - Kieran POV [after speaking with Carla] Pulling my hand away from Oakley's I stalked into the backyard leaving her and Nona there, entering the kitchen, I slipped up the stairs luckily avoiding everyone in the house, and when I finally make it to the room Chelsea gave me. My heart hammering, I panted as I slipped down against the wall. 'Hands on the wall,' white coats voice husky in my ear, and my hands shake as I bring them up, my mind racing, wondering what I had done this time. My cot was made. I ate the food they gave me even though it made me sick I didn't vomit. The funny taste that was nothing like I had tasted before, I swallowed it down. You're not there anymore, they aren't going to hurt, and they can never hurt you again. I didn't make a sound when they poked me with the needle. Kieran you need to relax, breath and just calm down. I avoid eye contact with the white coats. 'You're making me do this, you couldn't even follow my simple instructions,' the same sneers, 'you think you're parents are going here for you? They aren't, they didn't want you Kieran, you didn't listen to them,' white coat said. I was good. I was good. I tried to be good but nothing worked. I didn't move an inch from the spot they put me in. When the smoke from the ceiling came down I fought the voice and remained still. 'No good... bad... sorry...I'll be good,' Rocking back and forth I tried to forget, gasping my chest felt tight, my vision was filled with black dots and I couldn't hear. I couldn't concentrate on anything, the colors of my room swirled and in the corner my cot appeared. Kieran you're on the island, you aren't back there, you - I welcomed the blackness. Eyes fluttering, I snapped them shut. My muscles felt worn, sore. My hands were clenched tightly, as I opened them, my bones popped and my skin prickled as blood flowed. In my head Nyx whined, and I'm hit with memories of what happened, bolting to a sitting position my eyes darts around the room until I see Nona and Grant sitting on the sofa near the wall, the two of them neither smiling nor frowning in disappointment. I couldn't look, not when Grant would now be telling me to stay away from Oakley; I knew it was just a matter of time. Shamefaced I turned away from them. "How are you feeling Kieran?" Nona asks, my eyes widened, I'm unsure how to answer her question. Did I tell her I was okay? And risk getting punished? Did I lie to avoid punishment? What would happen she found out? My heart seized in my chest. "Do you remember what happened?" She asked taking me off the hook my body sagged, flicking my eyes to hers briefly I nodded. Grant opened his mouth but before he could utter a word Oakley stepped into my room, concern on her face. Her eyes sad I looked down, away from her and chanced a quick peek at Grant once again. With everything straight on my mind, I knew I was no good, it didn't matter that Carla had searched for me... in their own way; it was best to do this now. "It's not a good idea to see each other anymore, I know you think that it's okay, but I'm not worth it and you should do like everyone else and leave me alone. I'm not normal, I thought I could try and be better, but I'm not." Nyx whined in my head, until the quiet whine was more like a deafening howl. From my spot I could hear three other heartbeats, pounding, drowning out everything else. "I don't understand?" her tone forced me to look at her. Her nose scrunched up, and her head was cocked to the side, the hand at her sides clenched in a fist, shaking slightly. She didn't understand, none of them did. All the things I did, "I want you to leave me alone, its better this way," I said much stronger, yet still weaker than before, the words leaving bitterness in my mouth. "I - I don't care - I mean - I'm-" "Please leave," I mumbled not looking at her, Grant or Nona. Her soft footsteps announced her leave. Bringing my hand to my chest I rubbed the spot right over my heart.  I brought my lip between my teeth, pushing away the queasy feeling in my belly. "Kieran..." Grant said my name softly, but I couldn't look at any of them, Oakley knew I wasn't normal and good, but I wouldn't let Grant see me this broken. I also didn't want to see him smiling at the fact that I was hurting. 'Never give the white coats something to use against you,' Mack Reyes had told me when I was just a small boy. Nona and Grant aren't white coats Kieran, Nyx told me. Lifting my head, I finally looked at Grant, he smiled, but it wasn't a sneer, and there was no coldness on his face. No judgment either. "You were panting, screaming and you actually fainted... does that happen often?" He asked. Nodding warily, I didn't want to admit the weakness but who knew what would happen if I didn't answer. "When Chelsea accidently stepped too close to you, you had the same-" my eyes widened and mouth dropped opened, and Grant stop speaking immediately. He was blaming Chelsea when I was the one that stepped into her? No one said anything until Nona gave me a small smile, "How are you feeling? We were all worried about you Kieran," I blinked. This was Nyx fault, all of this. I was okay on my mountain and then Chelsea said to shift and he wouldn't let me shift back. None of this would have happened if he would just let me be myself, be the way I wanted to be. Of course I wouldn't say that a loud, "I'm fine, I - I wasn't - they looked for me?" I stuttered out unsure of how to wrap my mind around that. "Did you think that they wouldn't?" Grant asked me, again no malice in his tone. "How about I let you two talk... would that be alright with you Kieran?" Nona asked when I tried to find a way to answer Grant. Nodding, she took a step towards me, "You don't have to be alone," she whispered, her words confused me, unquestionably and for a fact, I was better off left alone. I wouldn't hurt anyone that way, and no one could hurt me. When I didn't give her a response, she only smiled as she always did and left the room.