Chapter 400: 1-4

“Of course they looked for you, when kids go missing people do searches for them Kieran, I mean the police get involved, so I’m sure that your parents looked for you,” she said with total conviction. I wasn’t so convinced. “Do – would you – I want to go see them, will you come with me?” I asked her, not wanting to go alone, she nodded but she fidgeted a bit. “What?” She shook her head, “Well I haven’t really seen them since I shocked your mother a week ago,” she said her face red. “I don’t think they’ll hurt you, plus Gabriel said I should take someone when I go see them so that no one hurts me,” I repeat his words. From Tera I heard that Connor was in the hospital for a few days after took away his wolf, but now he was back home, still unable to remember anything. I felt bad, this was my fault, he lost his wolf because of me. No he didn’t, Nyx chided me swiftly once again and I wouldn’t be having this argument with him once again. Heading down to the kitchen I stopped, “Hey Nona, I want to go to see Carla and Tony, will you come with Oakley and I?” I asked her shyly. Her features soft, she smiled nodding at me, washing her hands and putting whatever she was making into the fridge. “Are you going to see your brother Connor?” Nona asked quietly from behind Oakley and I. Looking over my shoulder I shook my head, “No, I wanted – well I just wanted to ask Carla and Tony a question,” I replied turning my head forward so she wouldn’t question me more. Luckily it worked because we walked to their house without a single word uttered again. When we got to the house, my stomach was turning, rolling over on it self, I couldn’t – I was having such a confusing time, I just wanted it settled, I wanted to know for sure. I wanted confirmation that I was bad, that Jack, Chelsea, Oakley, all of them were wrong that the White Coats were the ones that were right. ‘Why would your parents search for you Kieran, you were bad, you were a bad son,’ one told me… Logan searched for his sister but she wasn’t bad like me. Oakley offered me her hand, which I took greedily, I wanted her with me but at the same time I didn’t want her to hear that I wasn’t good. Sensing my problem, she tugged on my hand, “I’ll stay out here if you want, with Nona,” she offered. “No!” the words shouted, much louder than I was aiming for them, “I – I need you with me,” I whispered almost ashamed to say the words, I look down kicking at the dirt. “Then with you I’ll be mountain king,” she said squeezing my hand in hers just a bit. I inspected her, looking at her face for a sign of dishonesty, “I won’t let go Kieran, I promise, scouts honor-” she stopped her face reddening. “Well I wasn’t a scout though, but it’s just a saying,” she waved her other hand, rambling. I blinked in confusion, “I just – I won’t let go, is all I’m trying to say,” she said bobbing her head. Deciding to leave that alone and just believe her words we walked up the steps to the porch and I knocked on the door. Dropping my hand and waiting, until Carla opened the door, her eyes widened and taking in my face. “Oh – oh you cut your hair, I mean Tera said that you did because-” she stopped abruptly not mentioning that I had to cut my hair shorter to make it look better since some of it was shaved. “It’ll grow back,” I muttered tightening the grip I had on Oakley’s hand, when Carla finally did glance at Oakley I could see the annoyance there, “Cut that out!” I snapped at her moving myself a bit closer to Oakley, “She wouldn’t have had to shock you if you didn’t listen.” The words just tumbled out and she took a step back, her eyes wide as she stared at me. “I wanted to ask you something,” I said moving this along not wanting to stay too long. “I – I – I just – Kieran,” Carla stuttered her eyes flashing down to my mine and Oakley’s intertwined fingers. “You don’t know how hard it is… to want to give you comfort and not being able to do so-” “So you wanted to give me comfort… that I wouldn’t remember, recognize or even feel because I was in an induced coma?” I countered dryly. “Did you look for me?” I blurted out before she could even give me another excuse or whatever it was she would say. Her eyes widened, “We – we – I – your father and I, we went to the Elders, they told us that we should just contact the different packs-” “You didn’t call the police?” Oakley questioned her tone harsh, cutting. Carla shook her head, see… I was bad, turning away I wanted to leave, I had gotten all the proof I needed that the White coats weren’t liars. “Kieran – Kieran – stop! We couldn’t search for you that way, it isn’t allowed for our kind!” I heard behind me and felt Oakley stop walking halting me as well. “We called every pack and we sent everyone on the Elders registry online a picture of you, asking for help to find you, to seek you out. We bagged different items that would have your scent on it and sent them to other packs so that they could track you by scent, we – there was nothing – we – when the pack had to move because we were getting attacked by vampires – we stayed. We didn’t want for us to move and you come back and not find us,” Carla said to my back, I looked over my shoulder. Her eyes were glassy, “The Elders were the ones that took me in the first place,” I muttered walking away, they searched for you Kieran, they searched for you, Nyx repeated over and over. When we made it back to the house, I dropped Oakley’s hand, “I need to be alone,” I muttered not looking at her and storming up to my room, nothing was making any sense anymore. I was bad, that's why I was punished... right? I mean, it had to be the reason.