Chapter 206: Prologue-1

Prologue - POV UNKNOWN "Has she changed her mind about being adopted?" her mother - Mable Moor-Jaktur - asked her, I remained silent, able to hear the conversation even from my room, something no one knew yet, but there were a lot of things no one knew about me just yet. I was trapped here, in a place where I was alone. The secrets I carried too much, and it was now suffocating me. "Mom," she chided, "Pat and I are giving her a choice, if she doesn't want me to adopt her, I'm not-" "It's been years Sarah, that woman left that man, a good man alone with those kids. Just up and left, you are the only mother that child has ever known. Why you don't give her a good sitting down and lay out the rules is beyond me," the older woman interrupted, "in my days children listened to grown folk... And don't think her behavior isn't going to be a bigger problem later on, you've got to think of Amelia and Ben." "All these years and the girl still calls you by your name, no respect!" the younger woman sighed loudly, "Mom... I can't force her too-" "This is your house and you're still walking on eggshells here..." the older woman voice lowered, I knew she cared but Sara Lawson should be walking on eggshells in this house. In my mothers house. "Mom... what do you want me to do? To say? Tell her that her mother abandoned her, was nothing but a flakey whore that probably road out of this town, this farm with another man, left her and Ben behind, didn't care enough like a mother should? It's the truth mom; this whole town knows what Norine did. One day, someone's going to give it to that child, spit it out like everything else around here and she'll hear it, but it won't be from me." "So that's it, Ben calls you mom, Amelia calls your husband dad, but his daughter calls you by your name with no respect, doesn't listen to a thing you have to say, only listens to her father, bullies Amelia, treats her like dirt and she gets away with it all?" she scoffed. . . . After hearing enough, I went and locked the door to my room, opened my locker safe and pulled out my tape player, putting the headphones on and listening one more time to the tape I've listened too for years, hiding and keeping this piece of information secret. "You want to make a tape for daddy baby?" mom said with a smile in her voice, happy, and I can almost remember her brilliant smile, "Ya momma." "Okay ready, lets sing for daddy... A - b - c - d - e - f - g - h - I - j - k..." and we continued until we were at Z, "Now I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with meeeeeeee! Do you like that daddy?" a younger me asked the recorder, giggling - happy. "What else should we sing for daddy Bumblebee?" "If wou're wappy an wou kwnow it cwap wour hwands!" "If wou're wappy an wou kwnow it jwemp up and dwown!" we continued singing, doing it twice before mom stops abruptly, but I don't know why. "Oh no... Oh god... how - how did they find me..." Mom mumbles the recorder still picking everything up. "Come on Bumblebee you need to hide and be really quiet okay, no matter what you hear don't come out Bumblebee, you understand?" her voice frantic now. The hand holding the recorder shakes as I listen to that day again, "I love you Bumbleebee okay, I love you to the moon and back you hear?" "Yes momma," my voice young, placating. "Pat - Pat I love you okay, don't think I don't - I'm sorry I thought - I thought I got away from them Pat, I thought I could have my happily ever after with you, I loved you Pat, you were everything I ever wanted and I didn't think I would ever get a chance at love. I love you deep in my heart, and my secrets, I kept them to protect you and the kids, don't forget that, tell them about me, love them, cherish them for the both of us you hear?" Mom's talking faster now. "Ben - Ben I love you too, I wish I had more time with you, I wish you'd remember me, but ask your daddy about me, he'll tell you how happy I was to be your momma." "Pat don't go looking for these men okay, you can't win with them, not yet... but when the kids are older, you need to find my daughters, I'm sorry for the secrets baby, I thought I'd get to tell you everything myself. I'm so sorry, so sorry," Mom sobbed, "Momma what's wrong?" younger me whispered since she was too I guess. "Pat - you can't trust just anyone - if you need to get help go to Gabriel Gavino or Jay Colt... take the kids to him, he will be able to keep them safe, my daughters will be there too, they'll protect you guys, no body else but them Pat, do you understand?" my eyes welled up listening, knowing what was coming next, the tears falling down my face. Her voice went lower even, "Bumblebee don't come out okay, stay here, even after you don't hear nothing, stay here. You understand baby? Wait until daddy finds you here, you hear me? Say you were outside Bumblebee... came inside and you hid here... don't tell anyone I put you here... not even daddy, don't tell daddy right away, you understand?" "Ywes momma," the confusion in my young voice apparent. "Now I need you to listen real careful okay? Real careful..." "I wistening momma..." "Don't give this player to anyone okay Bumblebee? People are gonna ask you if you saw anything or heard anything, but I want you to lie and say you didn't, say that I left, don't give them this player Bumblebee, just keep it to yourself until later - then show it to daddy okay? Do you understand?" There's a loud noise, and I hear a sob, "I love you Bumblebee, I love you Benny and I love you Pat. I love my other girls too, Pat let them know that I loved them too."