Chapter 203

NO CONNECTIONS BETWEEN LEO ROBERT AND FRANCESCA. Using my free hand I pulled my cellphone out. TO REMY: Do a hard search. Hack cell phones, emails, any type of digital correspondence. I know that Francesca, Leo and Robert have crossed paths, speaking to each other in some ways and I want to know how. I go back to ignoring everyone, trying to see the missing pieces, for a brief moment I think that this is a ransom type kidnapping, but Chelsea is a white wolf… taken by a hunter that was changed to a wolf… yeah… no. . . . I ignore the ache and worry, thinking of anything else, not dwelling on Chelsea, but ways to find her. Until I am back at step one, I’m useless. I sit and do nothing because there is nothing I could do. I don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle, I understand why anyone would want Chelsea but I think I thought if they took her they’d kill her. Standing abruptly I give Ava to Casey and stalk out of the back door and I let Max finally take over, force him too. Shifting quickly, I’m on all fours fast than any time before, I run towards the woods surrounding our home, paws hitting the ground hard. All the furry, anguish, and disappointment, we run it away. We try too but it doesn’t work so I push myself more. Running faster, harder. Two hours go by and we never stop, my muscles, ache, hurt and clench, spasm but I can’t stop, despite feeling like I could collapse, I continue. I try to avoid thinking about returning to a house and my Chelsea isn’t there. But I think about it anyways, it slips in and I’m angry all over again. After the third slip I welcome that anger. I run and the sun goes down, the moon comes up and Chelsea’s dream plagues me, I don’t stop running even though I know I’m going in circles on the property. Memories seep to the front, as the trees blur together, and I can’t ignore them, in spite of how weak they make me feel. And I get angrier because I’m not weak, her smell, sigh. Touch, legs, smile. Lips pouting, the way she holds her spoon whens she’s turning something on the stove. Water dripping down her body beautiful body. The face she makes as she reaches ecstasy. Picture after picture consumes me. Moment after moment. Her eyes lighting up when she’s with me. They’ve changed. I’ve noticed it. They shine. Not empty or alone. Or the look of a child in the corner on the outside looking in. Very little sadness in them anymore. I’ve changed her. But – but I stop running when I realize, she’s changed me. I collapse to the floor of the forest. The night air swirls around me, I howl out a pitiful cry. A cry for my mate. Louder when it’s not returned. When she doesn’t answer. She can’t answer. It’s been long. I howl. I whimper. Nothing happens as I interrupt the stillness and quiet. No one has come to give me good news. I wished them too, yet they haven’t. I cry in wolf form, another thing I haven’t done since Katie. I’m howling in pain. Not the physical kind but one I can and would gratefully exchange with it if I could. My grief is multiplied exponentially when I think about Katie, I lost her too. I lost her and was never able to find her. This couldn’t be like that. I couldn’t lose Chelsea for that long – it had only been hours and even that was too much. My thoughts spiral again as I thought about Chelseas dream. I look up at the moon, concentrating, praying, that they could just appear to me, help me. Help me! Give me a clue like they gave Jason so he could find her. I thought our bond was strong but maybe because I hadn’t finished our bonding it was weaker than I thought. Maybe loving her wasn’t enough; why was this even happening? Hadn’t she endured enough? Was this my fault? It was. I knew that. Chelsea and I, we’ve been so blindly blissful that it made her drop her guard. She was too busy caring for everyone, Ava and I, the pack. School. Dance. Her art. Then I added to it, proposing. Everything just one more distraction. She had yet to really say she loved me, not with her words; only her small actions, reading to me, massaging my body, running her fingers over every inch of me, getting bold in that as well, not a single inch of my body that she hadn’t examined, and learned. It had been over 6 months since I last had sex but I was still satisfied, we were learning each other’s bodies, what brought us ecstasy, made our skin tingle, toes clench, pleasure escape and take over our whole bodies. For once I cared about someone else’s pleasure and comfort; and after what I saw in her mind when she was resetting at Marx and Camilla I thought it was best to do as I planned. Chelsea was abused by Leo, I couldn’t rush, hope into sex, not even if our bodies desired each other, I wanted to pace ourselves. It was hard denying myself, but I had something different with Chelsea, it wasn’t that we were mates and her pheromones attracted me to her. And because of that, our physical chemistry isn’t what I already missed. She calmed me. We could be doing nothing, but be together and I was content. No – more and beyond content, and I was furious at the person who took that away from me. So I howled and cried about that. . . . An hour or more passed before I trotted back to the house, getting closer I see my Nonno, sitting back, reading something. He doesn’t acknowledge me, but I see a pair of gym shorts and they weren’t there before I shifted. Changing back quickly, I slip the shorts on and take a seat near my grandfather. “How long have you been here?” I break the silence. “An hour or so… not very much…” he finally buts the book down. “Your father returned. It also seems you’ve put the fear in some of the Alphas… as well as the Elders,” I know what he means, but again, I didn’t care that they knew. “You’re stronger than before,” Nonno states. He’s right of course, but only I’m stronger because of Chelsea. Chelsea? Chelsea? I think her name, call her and wince. A shudder runs thru me. My Nonno looks at me with pity. Sad eyes. I hate it. He knows and his face becomes impassive. “Jay left, took the kids, is furious with Madeline,” I snort. Let me guess? And you… Max thinks as do I. “Not all directed at you, Elder Caelum came with,” Nonno continues as if he could read my mind. He could. Once upon a time, before Chelsea. “Madeline was, is in the cellar, separate from Rian, we had a woman, Victoria, question her,” I snort, she was a useless pawn.