Chapter 186

Chapter 49 – Jay POV Walking away from everyone I got in my car going to a place I rarely went anymore. The home I shared with Anya for a short time. I had yet to make any changes, wanting to keep things as she had, her scent long gone. As I entered the home, I wonder what I always do, had she known she was pregnant when she left? Did Leo get her when she left this place? Was everything planned; I questioned now that I’ve learned Rian knew Anya was pregnant? I didn't return to Rian when Anya left because I loved Rian more than her, I did it for my children. I couldn’t tolerate being away from them any longer and Rian had refused to let me bring them around Anya. Even when I was here, she would let them call me, or call me herself, telling me they wanted me and like a caring father I’d leave Anya and go to them. Then finally it came down to the truth, I couldn’t create a family with Anya and just forget my other children, so before I put myself in that predicament, or them I told her I’d be staying with Rian. Not just for that but also for the pack, for Ames. I couldn’t have children with Anya, in fear of having a son that would one day challenge his own brother for the Beta title. Because despite being older, any son I had with Anya would be stronger than Ames, I couldn’t let my actions take away from him. I had the pack, but not much else, not even my brother Wolf, after Rian killed Laura Christi, his mate. Rian wasn't human at the time, claimed that Laura attacked her and her scent was different and instead of listening to my brother, I sided with Rian. I was blinded even then. Moving to the sofa, I sit and look at the wall, I kept this place, said one day I’d give it to Audrey, but that didn’t look like it’d be happening and now, after everything, I’m sure I’d lost any chance to build anything with Chelsea. I’d lost Chelsea like I lost Anya, because of bad decisions and promises to the wrong person. I’d never get another chance with Anya, 7 years ago I felt it, and my wolf felt his other half die. Even when she left, when Audrey was returned, I could sense that she lived on. Hurt at first that she hadn’t even wanted to keep our child, then protecting Audrey with all that I was because she was the only piece of Anya I’d get to keep. Now, knowing the truth, my heart ache, my wolf was in pain and mourning Anya all over again. Ten years I stayed with Rian never touching her, until I felt the pain of Anya dying, I resumed a physical sexual relationship with her, fathering Jayda and Jaxon. . . . ‘She made me say those things, they aren’t true’ ‘She made me say those things, they aren’t true’ Rian forgot that over the past six years, when I had finally lost Anya, I paid great attention to her, the ticks, her tells, her twitches when she lied, her heart that remained calm when she lied but raced when she told the truth. Maybe she was telling the truth, that Chelsea had made her say those things, made her tell the truth that is because when she said ‘She made me say those things,’ her heart actually raced. And when she said, they aren’t true’ her heart calmed, her eyes twitched, the lie obvious. The fury ran over me, it had all been a lie, everything. She had an actual purpose for meeting me, stop me from mating with Anya, and still that happened, all the years hitting me like a metal bar. Her attitude towards Audrey, not because I fathered a child with Anya, but as punishment… as punishment she had to raise her. ‘The same room Leo beat you in’ the words and answers playing around my head. ‘Beat you in’ she knew he was abusing my pup and she let him, gave Katie to her father to be sacrificed. How was I so blinded by this monster? What else had Leo done to Chelsea? Was the abuse sexual as well? Did she believe I knew and never came looking for her? The marks on her back, thick and ugly... done by a man I welcomed in my home, when he showed up randomly claiming he was turned by a wolf and their father disowned him. I shared meals with that... I was a fool, to Rian. To him and Anya's words come back to haunt me. 'you're making a mistake.' Sitting in this house, and all the memories that could have been made here… Anya and I raising our pups here, Audrey and Chelsea being raised by a woman I know would love them dearly; protect them with everything inside her. 'you're making a mistake.' All my children and my mate would be safe and alive, Maggie included. I close my eyes, resting my head back as I think back to that fight. One of the many reasons that I had left Anya to begin with happening, trying to stop Maggie, knowing that her sister, despite being younger would be stronger than her, especially since Gabriel had marked her, marked his true mate. Listening as George baited her, and Rian helped. Pulling her side, warning her that Gabriel was not her mate, that he had already marked Chelsea, he had made his choice, he would kill her before he ever let her kill his true mate, ‘you chose mom, and she wasn’t your true mate,’ Maggie answered, not seeing the difference between situations. 'you're making a mistake.' . . ‘You’re an idiot,’ my daughter said. ‘You’re making a mistake,’ my mate said walking away. ‘You’re an idiot,’ my daughter said like her mother had, the same eyes, but still full of pity. I drift to sleep to the haunted look in Chelsea’s eyes, another resemblance to the pair that haunted me for 17 years. . . ‘Protect her Jay’ “Anya?” ‘Who is Jax?’ ‘I don’t know,’ Rian replied. Jax. Jax. Jaxon. Jaxon. Shooting up, sweat covering my body, I look around, and I’m in Anya and my house, alone. 'you're making a mistake.' Jaxon, had Rian chosen that name. Why? .