Chapter 36: Chapter Thirty-Six
Saffron’s body temperature flashed between hot and cold. One minute, it felt like her body had been doused in literal flames, and the next, it felt like she had been immersed in a lake of ice water.
Her blood burned. The poison she had been infected with worked through her bloodstream, making her body come alive in the worst way possible.
The sweet metallic liquid that followed after that, revitalizing her body in ways she couldn’t even begin to fathom, lessened the burning and created a cacophony of warmth within her.
It felt like her body was singing, a steady vibrating hum that made her feel like she had all the power in the world, like she could do anything that her heart desired.
It was intoxicating, and it left her feeling a little breathless.
But despite all the changes going through her body and mind, one thing that remained constant was her inability to lift a single limb. It was like her nerve reactors were disobeying every command, refusing to communicate with her body.
It felt like she was two separate entities, one part of her wanting to wake up, and the other refusing to allow her the opportunity to wake.
And when she finally managed to command her body into movement, her eyes snapped wide open.
But when she glanced around her, she was no longer where she thought she would be waking up. Instead, she was staring at doors, so many rows of doors, on an endless hallway that seemed to stretch as far as her eyes could physically see.
The hallway was stark white and so were the doors. Bright fluorescent lights blinked on and off, blinding her one second and blinking out of existence the next, plunging her into darkness before she could adjust to them.
She stared down at the white floral maxi dress she was wearing, her face contorting into a frown when she saw the white sneakers she also had on.
Everything was white on white on white.
It was bizarre.
Saffron had no idea where she was, where to go from there, or which door she had to open so she could get out of the weird landscape she had found herself in.
Deciding to trust her basic instincts, she walked towards the fifth door on her right, pulling the door open and stepping right into a memory she had thought was long buried.
**
It was a cold September morning, which also coincided with Saffron’s sixth birthday.
Her father had promised to pick her up from school and take her out to the little café at the corner of their house to get their famous vanilla and blueberry muffin to celebrate her birthday.
She sat outside her school, watching as the crowd of first graders began to thin out, parents parking their cars and picking their children before hightailing it out of the school’s parking lot.
She saw mothers embracing their daughters, fathers playing tag with their children in the school garden, and elder siblings chasing their younger ones down the curb, laughter and shrieks of happiness following behind them.
She longed for the warm embrace of a full family, dreamt about siblings she would never get to have, and a mother who never had the chance to hold her.
She wished for a father who would pick her up from school, a father who didn’t forget to iron his daughter’s school uniform, a father who always kept his promises, a father who didn’t let his four-year-old daughter go to bed starved, hunger gnawing at her belly and keeping her up at night.
Still, even though she knew he wasn’t going to keep his promise today like always, Saffron couldn’t help the little slice of hope that had bloomed in her heart when he had woken her up early with freshly baked sandwiches and cleanly pressed uniform, with promises of a vanilla blueberry muffin and a fun day at the park.
She craned her neck sideways, hoping to catch a glimpse of her father walking down the curb with a smile on his weathered face, on his way to her and fulfilling his promise for the day.
But as time passed, the sky beginning to darken a bit, and she was the only person left on the swing, her stomach rumbling and body cramping from being stagnant for a long time. Little Saffron knew that her father had once again failed to keep his promise.
Tears slipped from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and wetting the front of her school shirt.
She slid off the swing and hoisted her backpack up her shoulders before she began the short trek back home, her six-year-old self already familiar with the path that would take her home, having being the person responsible for taking herself back home every day since her father had finally managed to take her to school.
When she made it home, she found her father reclining on the worn-out sofa, three empty beer bottles lying by his feet and a half empty one held by his hand.
“Daddy,” she called out, her tiny voice croaking out on a wail.
“You’re back already?” he slurred, when he swiveled around to face her, the contents of the bottle spilling on the faded carpet.
“You promised…”
The rest of her words faded out as she got pulled out of the memory by an unknown force.
**
Saffron landed in the endless white hallway again, surrounded by eerie silence, her butt hitting the floor painfully.
She let out a gasp of disbelief as she rose to her feet, silent tears sliding down her cheeks.
She remembered that day all too well. And it came as no surprise to her that she still felt pained by what had happened then.
She distanced herself from the door she had been thrown out of, dusting off her dress in case of dirt, hand coming back squeaky clean.
The sound of her footfalls echoed through the hallway, creating an eerie background sound as she forged ahead, unsure of which door to open next and whether or not she was ready to face whatever memory was behind the white door.
Silence enveloped the atmosphere once again, when she paused in front of a random door, her hand hovering over its knob, as she contemplated whether it was the right memory to confront.
With a sigh, she twisted the knob and stepped in, immediately regretting her choice because this time around, she had stepped into a virtual nightmare, a memory that seemed to belong to the two weeks she had lost.