Chapter 75 A Shadow
Maddie Pov
I couldn't sleep. I had been lying in bed for hours staring at the ceiling while my roommate snored softly across the room. My mind wouldn't stop racing. Thoughts of Jace. Thoughts of tomorrow's obstacle course. Thoughts of everything that could go wrong.
But underneath all of that was something else. Something I couldn't quite name. A pull. A hum. A sensation under my skin that wouldn't go away.
The mate bond. It was active tonight. More active than it had been in weeks. Like Calix was nearby. Like he was close enough that the bond could sense him.
"He's here," Gory said quietly in my head. "Somewhere close. I can feel him."
"That's impossible," I whispered. "He stays away from me. He made that very clear."
"Feel it," Gory insisted. "Feel the bond. He's here."
I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation. The hum got stronger. The pull got more insistent. It was coming from outside. From below my window.
"No," I said. "He wouldn't. There's no reason for him to be here."
But my body was already moving. I got out of bed quietly so I wouldn't wake my roommate. I walked to the window in my bare feet. My heart was pounding hard in my chest.
I stood there for a long moment with my hand on the curtain. Part of me didn't want to look. Didn't want to know if he was really out there. Didn't want to deal with whatever it meant if he was.
But the bond pulled harder. Demanding. Insistent. Refusing to be ignored.
I pulled the curtain aside slowly. The campus outside was dark except for a few streetlights. Most of the windows in the other dorms were dark. Everyone was sleeping. Preparing for tomorrow's final event.
Then I saw him. A dark figure standing in the shadows below my window. Tall. Broad shouldered. Unmistakably him.
Calix.
Our eyes met across the distance. Even in the darkness I could see his face clearly. Could see the gold flash in his eyes. Could see the expression of pain and longing and desperate need.
My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't move. Couldn't think. Couldn't do anything except stand there staring at him while the mate bond roared to life between us.
For one heartbeat everything else disappeared. Jace. Simone. The obstacle course. All of it faded away. All that existed was me and Calix and the bond connecting us.
Then reality crashed back in. I remembered why he was staying away. I remembered all the times he had pushed me away. I remembered the pain of loving someone who wouldn't let themselves love me back.
I yanked the curtain shut hard. The fabric fell back into place blocking him from view. Blocking us from each other.
I pressed my back against the wall next to the window. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest. My hands were shaking. My whole body was trembling with the force of what I had just felt.
"Why is he here?" I whispered. "Why now? Why tonight?"
"Because he's worried," Gory said softly. "Because tomorrow is dangerous. Because he can't stay away when you're in trouble."
"He's been staying away just fine for weeks," I said. My voice came out bitter. "What's different about tonight?"
"Everything," Gory said. "Everything is different. Tomorrow changes everything."
I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. The bond was still humming. Still pulling. Calix was still out there. Still standing below my window.
"What does he want?" I asked. "Why is he watching me?"
"To make sure you're safe," Gory said. "To protect you from a distance. It's the only way he knows how."
"I don't want protection from a distance," I said. "I want him here. I want him to stop being scared. I want him to fight for us instead of pushing me away."
"I know," Gory said gently. "But wanting something doesn't make it happen. He has to choose to fight. He has to decide we're worth the risk."
I sat there on the floor for a long time. Eventually the bond settled. The humming faded. I could feel Calix moving away. Walking back across campus. Putting distance between us again.
I got up slowly and climbed back into bed. But I knew I still wouldn't sleep. Not after that. Not after seeing him standing there. Not after feeling the full force of the mate bond pulling us together.
"Tomorrow is going to be bad," I said to Gory. "I can feel it. Something terrible is going to happen."
"Then we'll face it," Gory said. "Like we face everything. With strength. With courage. With determination."
"I'm scared," I admitted.
"Fear is normal," Gory said. "But don't let it control you. Don't let it make you weak. Tomorrow you'll need to be stronger than you've ever been."
"I know," I said. "I just wish I didn't have to face it alone."
"You're not alone," Gory reminded me. "You have Elara. You have your training. You have me. You have more support than you think."
"But not Calix," I said. "I don't have him. He made sure of that."
Gory didn't respond. There was nothing to say. We both knew the truth. Calix had chosen his path. He had chosen to stay away. And nothing I said or did would change his mind.
I rolled over and stared at the wall. My roommate was still snoring. Still completely oblivious to everything happening around her. I envied her that. I envied her peaceful sleep. Her simple life. Her lack of mate bonds and secrets and danger.
My phone buzzed on my nightstand. I picked it up expecting another threatening text from Jace. But it was from Elara.
"Can't sleep either. Want to come over? We can watch stupid movies until we pass out."
I smiled despite everything. Elara always knew when I needed her. Always reached out at exactly the right time.
"Be there in five minutes," I texted back.
I got out of bed again and pulled on sweatpants and a hoodie. I grabbed my phone and my keys. Then I slipped out of my room quietly and headed down the hall toward Elara's dorm.
The hallway was dark and empty. My footsteps echoed off the walls. I felt exposed. Vulnerable. Like someone could jump out at any moment.
"Stop being paranoid," I told myself. "You're safe here. Nothing is going to happen tonight."