Chapter 50 The Mark Won’t Fade
Maddie Pov
I stood alone in my small dorm bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. The fluorescent light was too bright and it made my skin look even paler than usual. I pulled my shirt collar down slowly and looked at the mark on my neck.
Two small puncture wounds. They were still red and slightly swollen. They looked fresh even though it had been weeks since that night. The night everything changed. The night Calix marked me.
I traced the mark with my trembling finger and felt something strange happen. A warmth pulsed through my body. It started at the mark and spread outward like ripples in water. It felt electric. It felt alive. It felt wrong and right at the same time.
"This changes nothing," I whispered to Gory in my head. "He said it was a mistake. A drunken mistake."
Gory's voice was soft when she answered. "The bond doesn't lie Maddie. You know what you felt. You know what this means."
I shook my head hard and looked away from the mirror. "Then we ignore it. We train harder. We hide the white fur forever. No one can know about what I am."
I turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on my face. The shock of it helped clear my head a little bit. I needed to focus. I needed to be strong. I needed to bury the ache in my chest that wouldn't go away no matter what I did.
"You can't ignore a mate bond," Gory said quietly. "It will only get stronger. It will only hurt more."
"I don't care," I said out loud to the empty bathroom. "I survived without a pack. I survived without parents. I can survive without a mate who doesn't want me."
I dried my face with a towel and looked at myself in the mirror again. My eyes looked tired. My face looked thinner. I hadn't been sleeping well. I hadn't been eating much either. The bond was affecting me more than I wanted to admit.
But I couldn't think about that right now. I had bigger problems. Like the fact that my white wolf was getting harder to control. Like the fact that I kept almost shifting in public. Like the fact that people were starting to notice I was different.
I pulled my shirt back up and covered the mark. Out of sight. Out of mind. That's what I kept telling myself. But every time my shirt brushed against it I felt that pulse of warmth again. I felt the bond trying to pull me toward him. I felt everything I was trying to forget.
My phone buzzed on the sink. I picked it up and saw a text from Elara.
"Training tonight? Midnight at our usual spot?"
I texted back quickly. "Yes. I need to work off some energy."
Training was the only thing that helped anymore. When I was fighting and sparring and pushing my body to its limits I could forget about Calix for a little while. I could forget about the mark. I could forget about everything except survival.
I put my phone in my pocket and left the bathroom. My roommate wasn't back yet so the dorm room was empty and quiet. I sat on my bed and pulled out my textbook. I had homework to do. Normal college student things. Things that had nothing to do with mate bonds or curses or white wolves.
But I couldn't focus on the words. They blurred together on the page. My mind kept wandering back to that night. To the way Calix had looked at me. To the way his hands had felt on my skin. To the moment his teeth had sunk into my neck and bonded us together forever.
He said it was a mistake. He said he was drunk. He said the mark meant nothing.
But I felt it every single day. I felt the bond pulling at me. I felt his emotions sometimes when they were strong enough. I felt the connection between us that shouldn't exist if it really meant nothing.
"He's lying," Gory said again. "To you and to himself. He feels the bond too. He feels everything you feel."
"Then why did he push me away?" I asked. "Why did he reject me if he feels it too?"
"Because he's scared," Gory said. "Because of his curse. Because he thinks loving you will kill you."
I closed my textbook hard and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a loud thud. I was so tired of hearing about his curse. So tired of being pushed away because of something that might not even affect me. So tired of him making decisions for both of us without asking what I wanted.
"What do you want Maddie?" Gory asked quietly.
I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. "I want him to stop lying. I want him to admit he feels the bond. I want him to give us a chance instead of assuming the worst."
"Then fight for it," Gory said. "Fight for him. Fight for what you deserve."
"I tried," I said. "I confronted him. I told him I wasn't afraid of his curse. I told him I was willing to take the risk. He still walked away."
"Then try harder," Gory insisted. "Don't give up. Mates are worth fighting for."
I touched the mark on my neck again through my shirt. The warmth pulsed stronger this time. It felt like Calix was thinking about me. It felt like he was somewhere close by feeling the same pull I was feeling.
"I'm not giving up," I whispered. "But I'm not chasing him either. If he wants me he knows where to find me."
My phone buzzed again. Another text from Elara.
"Are you okay? You've seemed off lately."
I typed back quickly. "I'm fine. Just stressed about classes. See you tonight."
I wasn't fine. I was the opposite of fine. But I couldn't tell Elara the truth. I couldn't tell anyone about the mark or the bond or what I really was. Some secrets were too dangerous to share.
I got up from my bed and went to my closet. I needed to get ready for training tonight. I needed to prepare myself mentally and physically. I needed to be strong because I had a feeling things were about to get a lot worse before they got better.
The mark throbbed again on my neck. Stronger this time. Almost painful. Like a warning.
Something was coming.