Chapter 11 Almost Broke Free
Calix Pov
I wasn't supposed to be here. The high stands overlooking the combat field were off limits during class hours. Reserved for scouts. Important visitors. Not students who should be in their own training session across campus.
But I came anyway. Crouched behind the back row of seats where nobody could see me. Where I could watch her without being caught.
This was pathetic. I knew it was pathetic. Skipping my own class to spy on hers. But I couldn't help it. The mate bond pulled at me every second. Demanded I go to her. Check on her. Make sure she was safe.
So I compromised. Watched from a distance. That was safe. That kept her protected from me.
I found her easily. She stood at the edge of the field with the other students. Even from up here I could see how tense she was. How her shoulders were hunched. How she looked like she wanted to disappear.
Coach Brennan was talking. I couldn't hear the words but I saw Maddie raise her hand. Saw the coach shake his head. Saw her shoulders slump even more.
My wolf stirred. "Something's wrong."
"She's fine," I muttered under my breath. "Just nervous about training."
Then the coach paired her up. With Dawson.
My whole body went stiff. Dawson was a third year. Big. Mean. The kind of guy who got off on hurting people smaller than him. Why the hell would the coach pair a wolfless girl with someone like that?
"This is bad," my wolf said. "We need to go down there."
"No," I said through clenched teeth. "We stay here."
Dawson started circling her. I could see his smirk even from this distance. Could see Maddie frozen in place. Not moving. Not defending herself.
"She doesn't know how to fight," my wolf said. His voice was getting louder. More urgent. "He's going to hurt her."
"The coach will stop it if it gets too bad," I said. But I didn't believe it. Coach Brennan was old school. Believed in tough love. Let students get beat up to teach them lessons.
Dawson moved faster. Circled behind her. I gripped the railing in front of me. Metal cold under my palms.
"Do something," my wolf growled. "Now."
"I can't," I said. "You know why I can't."
Then Dawson swung.
His fist connected with her face. The sound carried even up here. A sickening crack. Her head snapped back. Blood burst from her nose. Bright red. Too much red.
She dropped to her knees.
Everything inside me exploded.
My wolf surged forward. Not asking. Not waiting. Just taking over. My eyes flashed gold. I could feel them burning. Hot. Painful. My muscles locked up. Every single one. Went tight as steel cables.
The rage was instant. Complete. All consuming. It filled my chest. My head. My veins. White hot fury that demanded blood. Demanded violence. Demanded I rip Dawson apart piece by piece.
My hands squeezed the railing. Metal bent under my grip. Creaked. Protested. I was going to jump. Going to leap down there. Going to kill him. Going to tear his throat out for touching my mate.
Mine. She was mine. He had no right. No right to hurt her. To make her bleed. To put his hands on her.
"Kill him," my wolf snarled. "Kill him now."
Three seconds. That's how long I stood there. Muscles locked. Eyes burning. Ready to jump. Ready to destroy.
But somewhere in the back of my mind a voice was screaming. Warning me. Reminding me what would happen if I gave in. What always happened when I gave in.
Mom's face flashed through my mind. Her eyes wide with fear. Blood on her throat.
Marcus on the ground. Not moving. Not breathing.
The puppy limp in my hands.
"No," I gasped. The word came out strangled. Barely a whisper. "No. Not again. Not her."
I fought the wolf back. Pushed against the rage. It was like trying to hold back a tidal wave with my bare hands. Everything in me wanted to let go. Wanted to jump. Wanted to kill.
But I couldn't. If I went down there now I wouldn't stop with Dawson. I'd lose control completely. Would hurt her too. Would hurt everyone.
The curse didn't care about intentions. Didn't care about love. It just destroyed.
I gripped the railing harder. Metal groaned. Bent further. My whole body was shaking now. Trembling with the effort of holding back. Sweat broke out on my forehead. Ran down my face. My teeth were clenched so hard my jaw ached.
"Let me out," my wolf demanded. "She needs us."
"She needs us alive," I said. Each word was a fight. "She needs us in control."
Below Maddie was still on her knees. Blood pouring from her nose. People were laughing. Actually laughing while my mate bled in the dirt.
The rage spiked again. My vision went red around the edges. I could feel my canines lengthening. Claws trying to push through my fingertips.
"Stop," I ordered myself. "Stop. Breathe. Control it."
I forced myself to breathe. In through my nose. Out through my mouth. Slow. Steady. Fighting for every breath. Fighting the wolf. Fighting the curse. Fighting myself.
Gradually my eyes faded back to normal. The gold retreated. My muscles started to unlock. One by one. Still shaking but no longer frozen.
The railing was permanently bent where I'd gripped it. Metal twisted like paper. I let go. Looked at my hands. They were shaking. Bleeding where my own claws had cut into my palms.
Below Maddie was standing. Stumbling off the field. Blood still streaming from her nose. Nobody helped her. Nobody even tried.
I wanted to go to her. Wanted to run down there. Check if she was okay. Take her to the nurse. Hold her until she stopped shaking.
But I couldn't move. My legs wouldn't work. The wolf was still too close to the surface. Still demanding blood. Still wanting violence.
If I went near her now while I was like this I might hurt her worse than Dawson did.
"You're a coward," my wolf spat. "Sitting up here while she suffers."
"I'm keeping her alive," I said. My voice was hoarse. Raw. "That's all that matters."
"She's in pain."
"I know."
"She's crying."
"I know."
"She needs us."
"I KNOW," I shouted. My voice echoed through the empty stands. "I know she needs us. But she needs us not to kill her more."
My wolf finally went quiet. Curled up in the back of my mind. Defeated. Miserable.