Chapter 172 Those Painful Days
Upstairs, the guest room was draped in shadows. William’s head was in Arabella’s lap, her finger twirling around his locks to reduce his ache.
“Sleep, William. You have been awake for too long.” She murmured, noticing the redness from exhaustion around his eyes.
“What if I close my eyes and you aren’t there?”
She smirked faintly. “Test me.”
Lifting his hand, his fingers tangled with hers without any intention of releasing him, “Bella…” William hesitated.
“Hmmm?”
“I am scared.” He confessed, finally unshackling the lock of his tongue, pressing the back of her palm on his cheek, “I am so scared of losing you.”
“Me too but I promise, I won’t let anyone or anything take you away from me.” She declared unwaveringly, kissing the back of his palm.
He asked desperately, “No matter what happens?”
“No matter what happens.”
William stared at her for the next few seconds. The anguish he carried for years began to melt, the grief revived. Tears clouded his sight, a lump tightened around his throat and after carrying silence for years.
William gave up.
“...She…” His voice broke, his shoulder ended up shaking violently out of ache, releasing a powerless tear.
“She used to hurt me a lot, Bella…”
William sat up and pulled her in his embrace. Their heartbeats matched and the pain flooded. William, impotent to hold his cries shattered and liberated a thundering wail.
Breaking into a painful sob, he released a stream of tears. Arabella was shocked at his breakdown. Her hands immediately embraced him back as he cried his heart out.
“It- It was so painful. I wished I had died instead of experiencing this pain. I-I don’t want to submit this time…”
Arabella’s breath hitched. She didn’t even blink, terrified that the slightest shift would make him retreat back into his shell and began to caress him.
I-I don’t want to go back to those humiliating days… Don’t let me go there… help me, Bella, please help me..! ”
Tears soaked her neck, witness his anguish as hers, refusing to release him as he cried in her arm, sharing his feelings, the weight that began to suffocate him now.
“Tell me,” she whispered, her heart ripping apart at the resonance of his wails echoing in the room. Cupping his cheek, she wiped his tears, resting her forehead against his.
“She… she…” William’s eyes glazed over, the shadows of the room converting into the cold, clinical hallways of his childhood home.
…Her cruelty isn't based on his behavior, but her own bitterness…
PAST:
The afternoon sun was streaming through the kitchen window, mocking the cold atmosphere inside. Young William was simply standing by the counter, waiting for the kettle to whistle.
He made a simple mistake. He looked up and smiled at her.
"Don't look at me with those pathetic eyes," Liyah snapped.
Before William could even blink, her hand flashed across the space between them, smacking him.
The ring on her finger caught his cheekbone, a sharp, stinging bloom of heat that radiated down to his jaw.
He stumbled back, hand holding his cheek.
“Auntie, I–”
“You are an eyesore. Your parents died and left the burden to me.” She spat and walked away as he stood frozen with tears glistening in the corner.
But, he didn't let any condition shatter him. He believed it to be his punishment.
The words: I HOPE YOU ALL DIE! DON'T EVER COME BACK! JUST DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
They echoed permanently, they turned his life into a nightmare. And he accepted every pain wholeheartedly.
He had two siblings he must look after.
“You think you can cheat and won’t receive any punishment, Luke?” Helena’s husband growled when he received a complaint from the school, holding a leather strap, glaring at him.
“I-I am sorry, Uncle. I–”
"It was me," William stepped forward, moving firmly in front of his brother, his eyes affixed on the ground, “I gave him the idea to cheat. I helped him.”
"William, no..." Luke whispered, his eyes wide.
He nudged Helena, signaling her to take Luke to their room.
“Punish me. Don’t hurt him. I am the one who encouraged him, Uncle.”
"Go," he commanded quietly. The siblings made a crying face but left nonetheless.
He turned back to his Uncle and Auntie, heart pounding madly, hands trembling badly in fear. He knew the cost of this lie. And it was frightening him.
The first strike caught him across the shoulders, but he didn't make a sound until the door to the kids' room clicked shut.
He could take it, as long as they didn't have to.
“I am sorry, I am so sorry, William, I swear I will never do this again.”
“Promise me, Luke…” William forced a smile, holding his face, “I promise.”
Luke never cheated in his life ever again after this. From that moment, he worked extremely hard and became the star student.
Later, William lay on his mattress, his stomach twisting into a painful, hollow knot. He hadn’t been allowed to eat since yesterday as punishment.
In the dark, the stoic mask he wore for his siblings finally cracked.
A single tear tracked down his temple, soaking into the flat pillow. He wasn't crying because of the hunger, or even the pain.
He was crying because he couldn't remember the last time someone had spoken his name with kindness.
He forgot how it felt to be warm, to be taken care of… Until he met Arabella.
PRESENT:
William was leaning against the bedframe, his head resting on her shoulder as he finished telling her about the nights in the dark.
The hunger, and the way he had to pretend the strikes didn't hurt so Luke and Helena wouldn't be afraid.
But, once again, he failed to reach the main point.
"I just..." He choked, his breath hitching. "I had to be made of stone, Bella. If I broke, they had no one. I had to survive that to redeem my sins…"
Arabella’s hand extended to caress the side of his face. Hating the moment she decided to move on from him and shatter the only shore he sought.
She pulled him down toward her, allowing him to lay on her laps again, her fingers moving with soothing actions.
"You're safe. I promise, William. You don't have to be a wall anymore." Arabella whispered, her own tears blurring her vision as she held him with a fierce, protective grip.
She ran her fingers through his hair, her heart breaking for everything he went through.
The miserable sobs shook his entire body, the sound of a decade’s worth of suppressed agony finally finding the light.
In the safety of her arms, the cold memory of Auntie Liyah’s house finally began to lose its power, replaced by the warmth of a woman who loved him endlessly.