On finally coming to the river she sat on the same bolder as she had on the previous visit, again enjoying the fresh crispy air and the various comforting smells. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there trying to pluck up the courage to speak, to find the right words. Finally she took a deep breath, swallowed hard and straightened her posture.
Hey Joe. God, where do I start? Last time I was pretty miserable, huh. Remember I told you all about how the Alpha I’d mated with was basically ignoring my existence? His name’s Trey – I don’t think I ever told you that. Well things are kind of totally the opposite now.
We’ve, um, well we’ve sort of…We sort of discovered that...It turns out we’re true mates. I bit him yesterday and the bond clicked into place. I feel awful for saying this, but…well I’m happy about it. I’m so sorry if that makes you hate me, but I’d rather not lie to you.
You don’t mean any less to me than you did before. It’s like I said to Shaya – you have your own space inside me, and now so does Trey. And now he’s filling it. And…and I love him. I’d like to think you can be happy for me, that you wouldn’t want me being alone. I know I’d feel that way if the positions were reversed – although I admit I’m petty enough that I’d have been a little jealous. But I wouldn’t have wanted you to be lonely or to never find someone who cared for you. And that’s what I have. Not love, no I’m not sure I’ll ever have that so I’m not even sure our mating bond will ever be fully formed. But I’m actually happy. I hope you can be glad for me.
With tears clouding her vision, she rose and smiled. Love you, miss you.
Although her heart felt as heavy as it usually did after talking to Joey, she wasn’t filled with that old sense of hopelessness or plagued by a feeling of loneliness. Yes she missed Joey, there was no way she couldn’t, but now she knew that it wasn’t because he had been her mate, but because of what close friends they had been. Now she had something good to go to back to, someone who had gotten rid of that emptiness she had once felt. Someone she loved. Her mate.
She had taken approximately ten steps when she realized she was no longer alone. Looking to her right she saw a very familiar whopping big grey wolf. “Hey there, Cujo.” She knew that although the wolf would have picked up on her surface emotions, he wouldn’t quite understand what her pain meant or what she had been doing by the river, but there was a strong possibility that Trey did.
She walked to the wolf and squatted beside him. He rubbed his jaw against hers and licked her ear. “I had to explain to him, Trey,” she said, knowing he would hear her. “And I needed to find that peace. You get it, right?” For a split second the wolf’s eyes flashed Trey’s artic blue, and she knew he was letting her know he had heard. Smiling she shook his muzzle and pushed him away for her. “Fancy a race?” Then she was gone.
She and the wolf played for something like an hour; tagging and chasing each other, wrestling, mock fighting, and ambushing one another. Although he didn’t hold back with those teeth or claws, he didn’t once draw blood. Finally they collapsed near the lake beside Trey’s discarded clothes, panting and huddled together. She hadn’t at all meant to doze off, but it wasn’t a great surprise that she had.
She woke to the telling sound of popping and snapping. Opening her eyes, she saw Trey beside her in his human form once again. His sharp eyes were glinting with a light-heartedness she had never seen there before. His usual scowl had all but disappeared and he wore a beaming smile.
Knowing she was wondering at his uncharacteristic cheeriness, he explained. “I never really made time for playing and fooling around. I became Alpha when I was just a teenager, remember. Had to grow up pretty quickly. There wasn’t really fun or quirkiness in my life until you got here.” He clipped her hair behind her ear and kissed her lightly before sucking her bottom lip into his mouth.
“So you never really went out and had fun with the guys?”
“Not really. There I was suddenly responsible for all these wolves and I wasn’t in a great frame of mind after everything that had happened.” He exhaled heavily. “I wasn’t in control of my emotions. Hell, I didn’t even know what the emotions were. There we were with no territory, no home, no money. I knew I needed to gain control fast or I’d never keep the pack alive.”
“So you bottled it all up,” she said in a whisper. “Turned yourself into a robot.”
“I guess I did. It wasn’t hard to rein it all in. I’d always been good at that.”
It tugged at her heart to know that he had basically missed out on his youth. Teenage years were about personal growth and fun and finding your identity. Trey had missed all that, and that was just unacceptable to Taryn. “Well now that I’m around, you’ll be expected to have fun occasionally – know that right now.”
“We have plenty of fun.” He grinned wickedly and licked over his mark while his hand cupped her breast.
“Not that kind of fun,” she said a little breathlessly as he sucked and nibbled her neck. “But we’ll do lots of that, too.” And they did do lots of that. In fact, they spent the next hour doing plenty of it.
“Have I ever told you that you have an epic ass?” she said, thanking God for the creation of Levis, as she watched him walk ahead of her toward the caves.
He laughed. “The epic ass belongs to you, baby. I should know, I’ve bitten it often enough.”
She snickered. “Where on my body haven’t you bitten?”
Again he laughed. “If I think of a place, I’ll correct the oversight.”
“Maybe I’ll retaliate.”
“Oh I really hope you do.”
“Great. How about now in your office?”
“Baby, does the word ‘nympho’ mean anything to you?” At that second, the cell phone in his jeans’ pocket beeped. “It’s a text from Brock,” he told her. “Apparently Ryan’s been trying to call me from the security shack and hasn’t been able to get through.”
“Is the signal crap?”
“Doesn’t seem to be. I’ll go see Ryan, find out what he wants.” He smacked a hard kiss on her lips. “See you at dinner, if not before.”
She released a dreamy sigh at the sight of his butt as he walked away at a leisurely pace. It was odd to see him do that – usually he was always marching or running, too intense to be in any way relaxed. With his newfound sense of peace, however, that had changed. Not his personality, no, that hadn’t changed. He would always be intense and menacing, and much too serious. But she loved him anyway.
She turned toward the stairs and ran her fingers idly along the mountain wall as she took each step. It tore at her to know that his life had always been so serious. He’d had so much responsibility, so much weight on his shoulders, from such a young age. The thought of him watching as all the others got to relax and have fun, of him always feeling on the outside, made her chest ache.
She could tell through their link that he hadn’t realized how much it had actually bothered him until they had bonded and suddenly he had someone who was his. As Alpha, he had always been slightly apart from the others. Now he had an equal, someone who he could share everything with, and who was held to him by more than just pack loyalty.
Someone who was also going to ensure that he learned how to have ‘fun’, whether he liked it or not. She would bet he had never set foot in a bowling alley or a cinema. Well he would soon. And he would grumble the entire journey there, yes, she knew that. Still, she was set on him –
Shit! Abruptly she felt a sharp tug on her ankle and suddenly she lost her footing, hit the ground hard, and struck the right side of her forehead on the stone step. Motherfucker. Then it was as if she was floating as spots began to dance before her eyes and there was a deafening, high pitched ringing in her ears. Everything was suddenly so distant and foggy, and it felt as though she was falling into a dream. She might have completely fallen into it right that second if there hadn’t been a sensation of two hands grabbing her ankles from behind and beginning to drag her down the stairs.
She wanted to fight that against that unseen force, she wanted to gain some purchase with her hands, but it was as if her body was disconnected from her somehow, like her limbs weren’t there at all. Her vision had gone blurry, everything seemed to be spinning, and she felt as though she was slipping away.
Distantly she realized that there was a voice shouting something – her name? Abruptly her ankles were released and there was the sound of footsteps running away from her. There was more shouting and she recognised the voice. Trey, it was Trey. She tried calling his name but although her mouth formed the word, no sound came out at all. The shouting was nearer now, but she couldn’t focus on the words, couldn’t make out what they were – she was slipping away again. Her wolf was howling, panicky and scared, and urging Taryn to fight that dreamy state. She tried, she really, really did, but things just became foggier and foggier. Then the blackness came.