Chapter 102 Beyond the Pain
\[Lilia\]
“Aya,” I sobbed as I looked up at Aya and mumbled her name under my breath. My vision blurred with all my tears welling up in my eyes as my breathing was shallow.
I have never been in so much pain.
I never cried like this, not even during my father’s death or when I was sold out in the auction.
This feeling... it was like I was reliving how it felt when my mother died, and it was years and years ago that I could barely remember.
“Lilia, come, let’s get you to bed, alright?”
Aya knelt down directly in front of me and took both of my hands in hers. She helped me get on my feet while I said nothing. I fear that I will break down all over again if I say any more words. Aya was leading me down the corridor, and as we went I was dragging my feet in penitence, but I made myself take a step forward nevertheless. These are the worst feelings ever, and if I let myself be drowned in them, I don’t think I’ll be able to recover.
I took a deep breath, thinking about everything that I went through, and thinking about how I was able to survive it all. Somehow, I believed that this wasn’t the end yet. Somewhere, I know there’s a silver lining that I have yet to see and that I have not yet been forsaken.
I will rise and let them see what kind of woman I have become. I will continue to train and be stronger, and I don’t care about Kael anymore. He had hurt me in many ways. I gave him a chance, opening my heart for him, and he destroyed me. I will let him know how much he has lost. He may have fucking bought me in that fucking auction house, but I will not let him break my soul. That is the only thing that had left in me, and I will never let go of that.
I am my own person, and Kael is just some fucking asshole that needed to get his shit together.
Fuck his ass. I am never going to believe in everything he says, no matter how sorry he is.
We finally reached my room, and I instantly cleared my thoughts as Aya opened the door for me. I had already stopped crying, and my internal dialogue, anyhow, helped me calm my emotions.
“I’ll get the hot bath running for you.” She helped me sit down on my bed, and without waiting for my response, she quickly went to my bathroom. The next thing I heard was the water running in the background.
One of the things I like the most about Aya is that she never prodded her nose to everything that happens to me, and she just lets me come to her whenever I am ready, and I admire her for that.
She and Sasha are both different, but the fact that they are distinct does not make either of them any less of a person. They were both incredible, and I can’t wait for the two of them to meet. I bet it would be amazing to be around with them, including Val.
“It’s ready,” Aya announced soon as she came out of the bathroom, holding a towel while she walked in my direction and handed it to me.
“Thank you, Aya,” I say to her, taking the towel away from her and standing from my bed, but before I could take a step, she suddenly spoke, asking me something that moved my heavy heart.
“Would you like me to stay here for the night?”
My head snapped to her, a little stunned that she would ask me that. I know it wasn’t too much, and it wasn’t that big a deal, but for me, it was a very kind gesture of her to offer her presence at this kind of time.
I feel like crying again, but this time with happiness, but that would be weird.
Instead, I only gave her a smile, though my face still hurt a little bit, and surely it almost looked like a grimace than a real smile. “Yes, I would love that.”
“Alright, I’ll go get your dinner while you take your bath,” she responded to me with a faint smile and a nod.
That’s odd.
Her voice sounded monotonous, as though there was something she wanted to tell me that had been bothering her for a while now, but she was kind of hesitating.
Those bullies, didn’t they leave her alone? I saw Kael strike one of them, and I am sure they would most likely get back to Aya for getting into trouble.
Though I hope not.
“Are those maids still bothering you?” I inquired, initiating first so she didn’t have to hesitate about it, and I also wanted to know if she were okay and that no one was hurting her other than those bullies.
However, she shakes her head, and her eyes immediately glisten as though she was holding her tears back. The corner of her lips quivered, and her voice cracked. “No, they were gone missing after that day.”
“What? What do you mean they are gone missing?” I gaped at her, not entirely processing what she meant by that.
Gone missing. How could that happen? Unless… Kael.
I stared at Aya, waiting for her to finish what she wanted to say. She was twiddling her fingers, her breathing had become laborious, and she was unable to look me in the eyes, darting across the room. Then she inhaled deeply and finally stared back at me.
“Master Kael must have done something to them for hurting you. I heard the other maids talking…they were brutally punished. Luckily he spared me and said that I am too important for you for him to do anything. Now they are all avoiding me.”
It feels as though all the coldness in my body traveled from the tip of my toes up the very last strand of my hair upon hearing it.
That beast. I am sure he did more than brutally punish them.
I know those bullies deserved to pay for what they did to Aya and to me, but hurting them in such an inhumane way is just too much. If it weren't for me, he would have even considered hurting Aya. What does that even mean? If I were not around, he’d hurt her too? Punished her even though she was the one getting aggrieved.
Hah! Does he think I am going to thank him for that? Forgive him for what he did?
He can stick his apologies up in his ass for all I care.
“Oh, Aya, forgive me,” I fretted, walking closer to her and wrapping my arms around her, taking her into a tight embrace just as I felt her body start to shake and cry.
She’s feeling guilty about what happened, and I feel like I was one of the reasons because of it.
“You don’t need to apologize, Lilia. It wasn’t your fault. I should be thanking you for standing up for me even if you didn’t need to, and if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have known what life is anymore,” she sobbed into my shoulders, and all I could do was rub her back with my palm to calm her, hushing her softly until she finally relaxes.
I feel like crying as well, as I am just happy to hear those words from her. To have a friend just like Aya, even though I am not perfect and sometimes caused her troubles.
The tide had turned, and it was me now who was comforting her, while I was the one bawling my eyes out when she found me in the hallway, and I have come to realize that everything in here doesn’t only revolve around me.
They, too, have their own burden to carry, and I have to be sensitive about it.
Aya let go of my embrace, sniffed out any remaining tears in her nose, and then wiped her face, smiling at me.
“I’ll go get your dinner, and if you’re ready, you can talk to me as well. I know something happened, and you’re hurting. I’ll stay here for the night,” she said after taking a deep breath and cheered up a little bit.
Now, she’s more like herself after she told me everything that bothers her, and now she turned in the favor for me to have someone to vent out the feelings that I have been bottling up.
“Thank you very much, Aya. I don’t know what I would do without you,” I say to her, holding her hands and giving them a little squeeze.
She smiled at me and scrunched her nose. “Take a bath now, you stink,” and then she laughs. A genuine laugh like all the inhibitions she was holding was gone.
It infected me as well.
We were laughing like we both had gone crazy before she turned towards the door and left to get my dinner while I proceeded to take a bath.
It is such a good feeling to have someone I can confide in everything, and I am so lucky to have Aya as my friend.