Chapter 22: A Rockstar and a God

Laura's POV:

Everybody wants to be a rockstar. It's the closest thing to being a god, but what people often forget is that God has a hectic job.

God creates. Twenty-four-fucking-seven!

God is worshiped.

God is expected to answer, to deliver, to reassure. And when God is sent to earth to deal with humans? God is bound to disappoint.

See, when you're a rockstar, your fans feed you expectations. And you almost always swallow them down greedily and ask for seconds. Because you want to believe you're a genius, whose lyrics are immortal— whose tunes runs chills down people's spines. You want to be unforgettable, irresistible and unique.

You don't want to believe there's nothing more after this— because there isn't.

You might be a hotshot millionaire, but at the end of the day, you're human.

A vunerable and broken human.

A human who is expected to be much more than a human. A terrible human like me. Who has never felt any other form of passionate intimacy except when I stood in front of thousands of strangers and poured my heart out to them. And asked them to love me. To believe in me. To support me. And. They. Did. Without. Holding. Back.

Like right now.

I stood on the stage, somewhere in Georgetown. The drums were rolling, the laser lights flickering on my face, like it just saw a long lost lover. It's beams ravaged over my curvy figure and then bounced off into the crowd.

I bent low, microphone firmly clasped in my hand and staring into the crowd.

My muscles already sweaty and tensed up. Flexing, straining to produce that perfect harmony. That climax!

When everyone sees me!

When they feel me and hear me.

I leaned closer, singing into the microphone. My voice boomed through the speakers:

One is the loneliest number

So you said we should be two, together.

But in the end you slammed my heart three times.

I tried to understand each time,

Was is the booze or the sleazy hoes

What the hell came over you—

I stood up straight, conscious of the ache in my back. I continued the last verse:

Even after all you did to me, I'd still take you back.

Though this time, I'd be sure to be the one

To break your heart.

This is poison and poetry!

This is poison and poetry!

I ended growling the last line more loudly, than I should have. The sound engineers probably did something, because no one else noticed. Except me.

They covered it up. It reminded me of my argument with Jaxon Fallon the two days back.

Was I any different from him?

Oh, yes. I was.

Jaxon was a coward. He proved this fact by the way he had avoided me like a plague since our last exchange at his place. But I still needed to take rehearsals at his place this evening.

I got off the stage and the first face I saw was Jaxon. Speak of the devil?

He wore his usual expression of annoyance and irritation, so I bypassed him. Heading for my dressing room.

It was a good thing he was avoiding me.

The gig had been solid. A grand performance. I knew, because I felt it.

Ryan and a local PR bloke both trailed behind me to the dressing room. But I slammed the door in their faces.

I needed to write, I needed to write— and alone.

I slumped into the sofa and picked up a notepad and pen, and frowned at the notepad. I scribbled:

I still wanna feel you—

Hold you.

No matter how hard you try to push me away.

I still wanna be in your arms—

To hold you and feel your hands pulling me closer…

I stopped writing and stared at what I had just written strangely.

Fleeting images of Williams wrapping his hands round my waist and pulling me into his arms rushed through my mind.

I closed my eyes.

…His lips crashed on mine, hungrily eating it up. Ravaging through every crevice.

My breath was shaking.

Damn, Laura what is wrong with you?

I threw the notepad down and stood up, sighing softly. I pushed to my feet and swung the door open.

Ryan and a few sound tech guys were outside waiting with my band. They peeked at me curiously.

I ignored them, tugged at my jacket to cover a patch of exposed skin.

I was probably having hallucinations due to the stress.

But deep down I knew that was a lie. I could clearly see the lust brewing inside me and I was helpless to stop it.

I had never been that intimate with anyone since how school. Maybe that was just it.

“There is a young man outside waiting for you boss.” Ryan said.

I raised my brow, questioningly. “Who is it?”

Why was someone looking for me?

“He says his name is Williams?”

Huh?

Williams? What was he doing here in Georgetown?

Or probably he wasn't the one.

Anyway, I had Ryan take me to him. It was Williams definitely, I knew immediately I saw his outline standing backstage. He saw me and his face broke into a smile. Not his usual one. This was different, he was smiling so hard. I thought his face would split into two. Then, almost in slow motion, he walked over to me and snaked his arm around my waist, yanking me into a hug and burying his face inside my hair.

I gasped.

Sure, we were kind of close. Well not exactly. But we had coffee and clubbed and he kissed me and… well

But there wasn't nothing more than that. There wasn't some brave soul-linking friendship between us. I barely knew him. There wasn't a bond. So, this came out of left field.

I pushed him back, breaking the embrace.

“That was the most brilliant performance I have seen.” He said exasperated.

I smiled back stiffly, ackwardly. Unsure of why he was here and what he wanted.

He tried to squeeze me into his shoulder again.

“Thank you.” I said, my smile faltering. “What are you doing here?”

He suddenly noticed my expression and pulled back. “I'm sorry. Just got a little bit overexcited.”

I nodded. “Okay. So why are you here?” I repeated the question again.

Was he stalking me?

I eyed him suspiciously.

He dipped his hands into his jacket and cleared his throat nervously. “Oh! I heard you had a performance in Georgetown, so I came to watch?”

“Huh, you flew in just to watch me?”

He nodded. “I'm a huge fan.”

I didn't believe that crap!

“Okay. Thanks for coming.” I faked a smile. “You want an autograph?”

“Please..” he held out his shirt with a smile. I reached for my sharpie.

I didn't believe he came all the way here to get my signature scrawled on his shirt but I'd give it to him anyway.

“Laura.” A firm voice called from behind me. I turned around only to see Jaxon glaring at me.

I thought he had been avoiding me all this while.

“I need you for a sec, come here.”