Chapter 20

"Come on, let me see his picture," Emma says, attempting to take my phone from me.

We are having a sleepover in Emma’s room since she thinks we don't spend enough time together anymore.

"Wait, let me search for his picture," I say, scrolling through my phone for a picture of William.

I give her the phone after finding his picture. "He is good-looking," she says, laughing while staring at the device.

"He blushes when he’s embarrassed," I say, lying on the bed with my hand resting on my belly.

"This cute guy asked you out on a date?" she asks, placing the phone on the nightstand and emphasizing each word dramatically.

"Come on, Emma. I said this before. This is not a date. We are just hanging out as friends. Besides, I would have declined if it was a date," I say for the tenth time.

"Okay, no need to be defensive," she mumbles sarcastically.

We both lie on our backs on the bed, staring at the ceiling and watching the fan rotate while enjoying the silence of the night.

"Shiloh." Emma breaks the silence. "I have a question for you," she says calmly. I reply with a yawn. "What if tomorrow you woke up and found out all this was just a dream. Would you be happy or sad?" she asks tentatively.

I contemplate the question for a few seconds. "It would be more of a lesson than a dream to me. I would be happy because it would help me make better choices," I say.

"I have a question for you," I say softly, meeting her gaze. "If you were in my shoes, would you give up on Damian or fight for your love?"

"I wouldn't let him get rid of me that easily," she says seriously. "Shiloh, don't you think it’s time you stop making excuses?" She rests her back on the headboard.

I stare at her confused. "I don't make excuses," I say matter-of-factly.

She rolls her eyes at me with a sigh. "What I’m saying is, you should stop making excuses for everyone else. Like the way you convince yourself your parents do things in your best interest or the fact that you let Sylvia diss you all the time. And letting Chance treat you this way after investing so much into your relationship," she says, staring at a blank space.

"I don't make justifications for anyone," I declare.

I don't know what Emma is talking about. I don't make excuses. It’s a fact that my parents treat me with respect and my sister cares, while Chance is…following his heart.

"Shiloh, you can't hide anything from me. Give up these games," she sighs, closing her eyes for a few seconds before meeting my gaze. "You keep on criticizing yourself for their shortcomings. I know how you try to do your best just to get your parents’ attention and how you feel insecure with Chance as if you don't deserve him, and you do anything and everything just for his sake," she says sadly, bringing tears to my eyes.

The tears roll freely down my cheek. "What do you expect me to do? Should I act invisible or get angry?" I ask, wiping my tears away.

"Why don't you try making a decision based on yourself, based on your interests, not on someone else’s?" she says with a warm smile.

I pull her into a tight hug and let my cheek rest on her shoulder. "I love you so much, Emma," I say, sniffing with a smile.

"Yeah, I know. What can you do without my watchful eyes and intelligent self?" she says, sounding cocky, which makes me grin.

We pull away from the hug. "Look at you, such a smart girl," I say, pinching her cheeks. She slaps my hand.

"Stop behaving childishly," she retorts.

"Funny, coming from the girl younger than me," I say, rolling my eyes. I rest my back on the bed with a loud sigh.

"By three months," she says with a glare.

A few minutes ago, we were having a heated conversation, but now we’re teasing each other.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night," I mumble, making myself comfortable on the bed.

"That should be Damien. Good night," she says facing away from me with a smirk.

Typical Emma never loses an argument and is always dramatic.

"Emma, one last question," I say, touching her shoulder. "Let’s say this was a movie. Do you think everyone would want my character to lose the baby, so she could live happily ever after with the man she gave up?" I question.

"No, I think you would be the character everyone wants to finally come to her senses and leave the man behind because he doesn't deserve such a beauty. You’d leave him to suffer with his choices and with that new lover of his. And I would be the character everyone loves the most," she states, placing her hand on my belly to give me a side hug.

I close my eyes, welcoming sleep with a smile. I’m relaxed because I didn't actually lose everyone I love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I groan, waking up to the sun shining through the windows. I stretch my hand, feeling for my phone on the nightstand to check the time.

I blink my eyes open and closed, not believing what my phone says. "It’s almost noon," I sigh, getting up from the bed. "No morning shifts today, then," I mumble and put my disheveled hair into a messy ponytail and head to the kitchen.

As God may have it, everyone is seated at the dining table having lunch. According to Emma, Sam spends more time here and you can't avoid someone forever.

"Good day, everyone," I say, making my presence known.

Since I had a good night's sleep, I decided to treat myself to a wonderful meal. I dish out a slice of Dutch apple pie and a cinnamon roll and grab a bowl of strawberries with an apple.

I take a seat beside Emma and across from Sam and realize everyone is giving me a strange look. "What?"

"Are you really going to eat all that?" Louis asks with his eyes flicking between the food and me.

"Yes, and it seems I am also craving a bowl of strawberry ice cream with some waffles and some Oreos," I say with a wide grin. Louis and Damien look shocked.

I take a bite from the scrumptious Dutch apple pie and push Emma lightly on the shoulder. "Why didn't you wake me up?" I inquire, ignoring her hard stare.

"Because I didn't want to disturb you, and besides your shift is at 1:30," she whispers.

She’s right. My body feels more relaxed and awake.

I continue with my meal before Sam speaks up to make an award-winning speech.

"Shiloh, you were not at the engagement party," she says, stating the obvious.

I don't hate her, but she is just too full of herself and so arrogant.

"I am actually surprised you noticed," I say not even glancing her way while pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

"I actually just remembered you were absent when I saw you enter the room," she retorted with a smirk.

I sigh loudly. "Can you please stop babbling? My afternoon is going great, and I really don't need anyone ending it for me," I say calmly, putting an end to whatever game she’s playing.

I continue with my meal, laughing and chatting with Emma, Louis, and Damien while Chance and Sam just sit quietly and steal glances at me, which is getting on my nerves.

I put my plate in the dishwasher and head to my room to get ready. I stand in front of the full-length mirror and notice the bags under my eyes look lighter and I have gained a lot of baby weight.

My face, arm, and legs look fuller. And my belly keeps growing. I think I am about to blow up.

I roll my eyes at my silly thought before stripping off my clothes to take a shower.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like I must be seeing things because right in front of a fancy restaurant is my mum's car. Taylor, her personnel driver, stands beside the car keeping a watchful eye out for any danger.

After mulling over my options, I step out of the car and cross the busy road.

I keep my face down, not wanting Taylor to notice my presence, and enter the restaurant. I find Mum sitting in her usual spot. She comes here often for lunch or meetings. I guess today is my lucky day.

I take a seat across from her, ignoring people’s curious stares. After all, the popular restaurant is not meant for someone dressed like me.

"Mum," I whisper with a grim smile. She looks bewildered, but exactly the same as always. Her dark brown hair is beautifully styled, and she has some light makeup on. I inherited my green eyes from her.

"Shiloh, what are you doing here?" she asks with wide eyes, looking a bit scared.

I ignore her question. "I called, but it keeps going to your voicemail. You don't even reply to my calls, Mum," I say, sounding disheartened.

She sighs. "I was busy with new ventures and dealing with new fashion labels. And right now, I am about having a meeting…”

I stare at her intensely with a scowl. "Mum! Mum!" I interrupt her long list of excuses. "Why are you doing this to me?" I ask with my voice cracking. I can't believe she’s doing this after not seeing me for almost four months.

"Shiloh, not right now, okay?" she says picking up her bag and standing up to leave.

I stand as well, putting my hands together in front of my face and pleading as tears run down my cheeks. I don’t care that people are watching our conversation.

"Mum, please don't go. Just spend a few minutes with me. I have so much to tell you," I say. My voice breaks, but she just stares at me with a blank expression.

I place my hand on the table and lick my lips. "I am so confused right now with Chance’s engagement, this baby, and my life," I say with a sigh. "Mum, I need you right now. I need your advice. I need you to tell me everything is going to be okay like you always do." I search her eyes for any emotion, and I can see guilt and regret.

"I love you, always remember that, but you made this choice for yourself and there is nothing anybody can do about it," she says with a sad smile.

Before I can reply, her phone chimes. "Hello? Yes. Meet me in the office. We will have the meeting there," she says to the person, leaving me standing there.

I take my seat feeling defeated. I use the napkin on the table to wipe my face of any sign of crying before leaving.

Her car is still parked outside, but I look away and head to my car. I drive away and park the car beside a fuel station. I sit quietly as silent tears run down my cheeks as I go over the scene over and over again.

"Don't cry. Be strong for yourself and for the baby. You can do this," I say, repeating the same words before resting my head on the steering wheel and letting my body quake with sobs.

My phone chime brings me back to reality. I scramble for my phone in my bag.

I cough lightly to clear my voice and then answer. "Hello?"

"Where are you?" William's voice comes through the speaker.

"What?" I ask a bit confused by his question.

"We planned to meet up today," he says, stressing each word.

I totally forgot about meeting William at the Egregious. I had to sign out early from the shop to have enough, but I forgot after seeing Mum. "I am so sorry," I say apologetically. "I am on my way now!"

"Okay," he says, hanging up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't even think about it," I say, pulling William away from my car since he thinks it’s a great idea to drive me home. William is a great guy. He actually works close to the shop, and he is a co-owner of an electrical appliances company.

He has two older brothers and a sister, plus one younger sister. He even brought his friend Mark along who is very funny and entertaining.

"Okay, drive safely," he says.

I step into the car. "I will. Bye, Mark and William," I say before driving off.

I walk into the house. It's nighttime already, meaning the house should be quiet, or they are watching TV.

"Where have you been?" Chance asks from behind me, almost making me scream.

I turn around. "Why do you care?" I ask calmly.

"Answer my question, Shiloh," he says angrily.

I glare at him. "I had things to do."

He takes a step towards me. "You leave home early and come back late, so what have you been up to?" he asks, leaning towards me so his face is close to mine.

I suck in air, feeling my heartbeat increase. "Nothing. Just looking for a job to pay you back for the car," I say.

"I told you, you don't need to pay me back," he says as he pushes a few strands of my hair behind my ear, making my heart increase in speed.

Why is he doing this to me? Before I can say anything, he presses his lips to mine and slips his tongue into my mouth.

I stand still with wide eyes as his lips press against mine in a hungry kiss. His hand holds my head in place.

I kiss him back, enjoying the feeling of his lips on mine as his tongue explores my mouth. I miss this so much.

We both pull away. There are butterflies in my belly singing and dancing with joy while my heart skips a beat.

I blink twice as reality pulls me back to the million reasons why this is so wrong. Not waiting for him to speak or sparing him a glance, I walk away with my last shred of dignity because I really can't tolerate the look in his eyes and don’t want to hear him say the kiss we shared was a mistake.