Chapter 83

**Arsen POV**

Aelin got up from my chest as I had instructed. It was time for us to leave. While certains things had been patched up, I knew this was merely some temporary consolation to my wolf. Her voice as she pleaded me to let her leave would haunt me for many nights.

She got dressed. I didn't try to read her mind, see where she was at, afraid I'll find something other than what I wanted. I watched her as she stepped into her clothes, slid her clothes onto her slim body with ease. She looked back, sensing my stalking. She smiled. I remained still in my position, no smile or expression as I took her in, once again. I needed some time myself too. I needed time with her, a lot of time, repay the lack of her that I had had all this time.

"Aren't you putting on clothes?" She wondered, cheerful yet with a hint of shyness.

"I thought you enjoyed the view," I answered falsely. I didn't feel like joking. I didn't feel like much, really. I wanted time to do nothing, to have her around and to get quick solutions to complicated problems.

"I do, but we're already running quite late," she pointed out, sitting down as she put on her shoes.

"I'm quick," I answered.

She flipped her hair up to look at me again, she looked me up and down, and smiled, "then go! Get changed!"

I did as she instructed me, putting on my clothes in little time. As soon as my t-shirt made its journey all the way down my torso, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around me, "I'm sorry," she apologized, a soft and regretful mutter.

"I know," I answered, trying to comfort her.

"I didn't mean a thing," she continued.

"I know," I said again. However, she didn't mean those words now, when she had said them before, she had meant them. I could feel it, not even her wolf was fighting against those words.

I moved out of her embrace after caressing her back, going to put on my shoes.

"Arsen..." She followed me.

I touched her face, "I know, Aelin, I know." I tried to put her mind at ease.

"But, you don't, and it's' obvious. You aren't being yourself," she contradicted me with such softness that made it clear that the last thing she wanted was to start another argument.

"I'm tired, Aelin," I answered, wrapping my arm around her narrow waist.

She took a step forward in between my legs, her hands landed on my head as she pulled me closer her, caressing my scalp with her fingers, "we've been in bed all day," she answered.

"It's not physical," I replied.

"I know, which is why resting won't do you much good, but listening to me and giving me a chance to apologise, maybe does do you some good," she said as she continued caressing the back of my head as I leaned my forehead against her stomach.

I wrapped my arms around her legs, "I don't want you to apologise, to go through it and make you upset again."

"I don't want you upset either."

I looked up at her, "I'm not upset," I told her.

She smiled, "in my books, this is called being upset."

"I'm fine, Aelin," I said confidently. "Don't worry about me."

"No, you worry about me and I worry about you, that's how this relationship works. And you aren't fine, Arsen and I wouldn't want you to be either. It was hurtful, you're hurt. I'd be devastated if I was in your position- and to be honest, it would even upset me to know you were fine after all of that. I didn't mean to, you know that, at the time I promise I thought that was what everyone wanted. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone including you. I thought I knew better and that it was for the best.It isn't obviously and not only because Ascian is horrible, but because I don't know what I would do without you, Arsen. I know it doesn't make it any better, but you need to understand. I want you , Arsen, you know it, I know it, I doubt there's not a single soul out there who won't take a look at us and think precisely that. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay, to have your kids, to have our own family, to build the happy home neither of us ever had and to make mistakes and to get mad and then forgive each other. I have my whole life planned out with you and I'm not throwing that away. I¡m staying. I know it's difficult to trust me now, but I mean it with my entire heart. I'm sorry for what happened, for what I said, for what I didn't say. So, please forgive me and let's go before people start looking for us."

She finished her speech and got down on one knee and began putting on my shoes. I didn't say a word as I let her words marinate. She got back up once she was finished, she made her way directly to the door, I got up behind her and followed her to the door. I quickly grabbed her arm, "Aelin," I muttered softly.

I spun her aropund and brought her head close to my chest, lowered my head and pressed her forehead against my lips.

"Let's go."

**

We made it back to the capital before the sun had fully set. It was the perfect time, right before dinner but giving us some extra time to pput back everything were it belonged. I enterred the packhouse alongside Aelin and for the first time in a long time, it didn't feel like something was missing, it didn't feel empty nor cold. It went back to feeling like home.

Audriana was waiting for us at the base of the stairs that led to our room. She smiled wildly at Aelin before she turned to wink at me. They give each other a big hug. Audriana had tended and cared for Aelin as if she was her mother, but she had always been a mother to everyone, she was one of those people.

"I'll take the bags upstairs as you two catch up," I informed them.

Aelin looks at me, on her eyes, a simple message was written: 'are you sure?'

I nodded, '*meet me up once you're done,*' I mindlinked, she smiled and I grabbed all the bags and swiftly made my way upstairs.

I started unpacking her stuff, feeling a sense of relief the more clothes I placed back into her closet. Things were going back to 'normal'. All this time, the only thing I wanted was to finally enjoy some peaceful time with her. No worries about wolves, vampires or Goddess-knows what new curveball was going to be send my way. However, this felt like the start of that, the start of finally having peace. Ascian seemed to be completely out of the picture and the only thing I wanted to care about was being happy. Making Aelin happy and being happy myself.

"Already unpacked me?" Aelin asked as she threw herself on the bed right next to where I was, putting the last stack of her t-shirt back from her luggage to her closet.

She stretched on the bed, enjoying her feel, remembering what it was like. "Mmm," she closed her eyes as a smile appeared on her face, "I've missed this."

"And not me?" I asked jokingly, but definitely begging for some more attention.

Her eyes snapped open as her smile only seemed to grow, she threw herself at me, wrapped her arms around me and pulled me down onto the bed with her, pulling me as close to her as possible. "i've missed you more than you can imagine."

I disagreed, mostly because I knew I had missed her more, but no need to get into the itallics of it all.

I pulled her closer and tighter to my body, one of my arms securing her onto my body as I propped myself onto my knees and moved tio the middle of the bed before twisting so that she could lay on top of me. As her body was so close to my body and my emotions seemede to calm down again, I noticed the slight change in her smell. I lowered my head onto the top of her hair and inhaled her scent.

"Good thing I brought you back as soon as I did," I commented.

"Why?"

"Someone's enterring her Heat," I informed her.

"I am?"

"Your smell..." I pointed out, "I give you tops a week."

She looked at me with a smile, but nobody could hide the fright and worry in her eyes from me. I understood, lasttime hadn't been exactly a breeze.

"You'll be more than okay," I comforted her, "this time will be way easier, no need to fight temptation," I winked at her.