Chapter 53

Aelin P.O.V

He instructs me step by step how to put myself in a weird sitting position, "now, can you rock your hips in that position?"

I rock my hips around, "yes," I affirm but it sounded like a question as my confusion was evident.

"How long do you think you can stay in that position?" He asks, looking at me with devilish eyes, something's up.

"What? Is this a challenge or something?" I'm bursting with questions.

"Just answer and you'll find out," he briefly replies with a smug, amused look on his face.

"I don't know, like an hour?" I respond unsure of myself, "in this exact position you mean, right?"

"Yes, perhaps a couple of feet higher up my body," he answers. It takes me longer than I would've liked to understand what he was hinting at.

I immediately, sit back down normally, "no way, I'm not sitting on your face," I exclaim, "are you crazy?"

"Just try it," he argues, "if you don't like it, we can stop."

I debate internally whether to trust him or not, "but you-?" My mind is quick to realise how good this deal sounds, but to him it didn't sound the same. I felt like I would end up choking him. I felt like I would just be using him for pleasure, some type of slave. I felt like I had the upper, upper hand in this situation.

"I'll be fine. I'm the one that wants you to sit on my face," he reminds me.

"I don't know, I just feel too much in power. I'm going to be riding your face, that doesn't sound like I'm using you too much?" I try to make him realise the position that his wishes are putting me in.

"No, it sounds fucking lovely," he answers with a rough smile. "Sit and you'll realise how much I can control."

It felt ironic that I preferred when Arsen had the control of things, but he always made me feel comfortable. He knew how things worked and was able to guide me in the right direction. In his hands, I felt safe, even safer than in mine. I gathered that the reasoning behind it was because I knew that at any point if I said stop, he would, so I didn't have anything to worry about.

I blushed and timidly made my way up until I made it to his throat, "are you sure about this?"

"Sit," he commanded again, answering indirectly my answer.

"Here goes nothing," I mutter under my breath.

I make my way right to his mouth and align myself with his lips. His hands positoned themselves on my hips. I looked down and saw him wearign a sinful smile. Indeed, sins were going to be committed.

"Don't look at me like that!" I say as I put myself in the position he had shown me before. My pulse had accelerated as my nerves increased.

"Relax," he answers and quickly pecks my clit.

I gasp surprised and I retract my hips away from him, his hands keep me in place.

"Lower yourself a bit more, until my lips are touching yours," he instructs me.

I slowly and hesitantly come down until I come in contact with his mouth, "there?"

Instead of a verbal response, I get an oral one as he begins to tease my sex. Unlike the first one, Arsen was playing the long game, keeping me on that edge where I'm about to reach my second orgasm of the night but he stops. He adores my frustration.

"Arsen, please," I beg as I start getting closer once again to an orgasm.

His lips unlike the other times, continue their endeavour on my lower parts. I, instictively, begin to ride his face, meeting him at every stroke.

"Oh. Goddess- Arsen," I moan, "continue."

*

I was resting on his chest, tired of the two orgasms he gave me. My legs had stopped shaking and I was enjoying taking in breaths of fresh air damped by his snow-and-pines scent, however I knew that he wanted to get something off his chest, something that wasn't me.

"What do you want to know about Ascian?"

Arsen hadn't been expecting that question, he was such a hard to read person. I'm sure he was used to always controlling conversations as no one really understood what he was thinking or what he wanted. Thanks to the mate bond and my wolf getting stronger per day, I was able to read him much better- mainly because my wolf told me so.

He was much better at reading me than I was him. For starters, I have very expressive eyes and I find it impossible for my face not to show any emotion, so it is always filled with it. He is the complete opposite, he will only express his feelings with his face when he wants you to see it. He typically wanted me to see his, even though his habits many times avoided me from doing so. However, many times he didn't want me to know how he was feeling and up to this point, I was powerless to that. Not anymore.

"I have many things in my mind to do with that man," he informed me, trying to dodge my question.

"Those that revolve around me, I'd like to hear," I reply, showing how I wasn't going to just let it slide.

"Too many of them revolve around you, Aelin," he argued. He didn't want to continue down this route, his tone made it clear that he was already tired of this conversation, but I had the energy for another attempt.

"I don't know how you expect me to tell you everything that has happened in my life, as devastating as it is for me, when you don't even share a fraction of yourself with me. I don't ask you to share anything that you may feel uncomfortable with about your childhood, or any details about any relationships you've had, whether that has been friends, colleagues or lovers. I only want you to share what you're thinking every once in a while," I take a deep breath, "especially when it's something that I can talk to you about."

He takes a deep breath, and silence reign over us for minutes, "we should go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day."

I move away from his chest. Suddenly feeling like strangers. I trust Arsen with my life and I love him without a doubt in my mind, but I didn't know a thing about him and he wanted to keep it that way. I understood that someone that, regardless of being my mate, has been able to help me through much and showed so much understanding and knowledge must have dealt with awful hardships as well, once that I'm sure he didn't want to share. I didn't ask him about those, but today I had began to understand the consequences that they had.

He had to be prepared for a conversation before he was able to have it. His need to be prepared was crucial to him, and his level of preparation wasn't as simple as knowing which questions to ask if he had the chance. His preparation meant hours of thinking and understanding everything to plan his attacks and defenses, how to always be on top of the situation. The same approach he used for battling, he used for communicating. I was fine with that being used in his businesses as an Alpha, or even in our own conversations when I needed structures not to fall between the cracks; but, if that meant that I would never be able to truly get to know him, then I have to take action.

I took up the space of my side of the mattress, but I still outstretched my arm to grab his hand. I didn't get the best of sleep that night, but I was hopeful that morning as I knew how to approach today. I couldn't get to eat breakfast with Arsen as he had to run some errands really quickly, but we arranged to have lunch, privately.

While he was out, I worked on my relationships within the packhouse. I had to start small, that's what I've been saying to myself. Go one step at a time, trying to get to know everyone would be too difficult, especially when I'm not good at small talk or actually, at any type of talking with everyone that I'm not very close with.

I went directly to the packhouse's kitchen where I knew Audrienne would be working, that way I could have someone to help me navigate around everyone that worked in kitchen. They were all very nice and very excited to get to meet their future Luna. Taking my curiosity of the North's way to my advantage, I asked the cooks to explain to me different traditional foods here. I have always enjoyed listening to people talk about what they're passionate about so mixing the North's proudness of their culture and the cooks' love for food, I was in for a wonderful experience. Over food and without me having to talk too much, I was able to bond with them fairly quickly, even helping them make lunch.

I hadn't realised how much time I was in that kitchen until Arsen popped his head into the room.

"Aelin?" I turned around, a hint of blush on my cheeks, "ready to go eat?"

"Yes, sorry," I quickly said, taking off the apron they lend me. I ran to his side, all of the workers looking at us. Arsen kissed me on the top of the head as I waved them goodbye, "thank you so much for everything!"

I started to spin around to leave, but Arsen stopped me halfway, pulled my chin and laid a kiss on my lips. Everyone 'aww'ed us as I blushed uncontrollably.

"Have a good afternoon everyone," Arsen said before grabbing me by my waist and leading me outside. The sounds of multiple 'bye's and a cheeky 'have fun' could be heard as we left.