Chapter 82 What dwells within me
I already knew.
From the moment my body reacted differently to the shadows, from the strange silence that took hold of me after the battle, I knew. The life inside me wasn't a doubt, it was a certainty. What terrified me wasn't the pregnancy.
It was what I was.
I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands resting on my belly, feeling that small, silent presence that already meant everything to me. The warmth was still there, mixed with an energy that shouldn't coexist with something so pure.
Conrad paced back and forth in the room, restless. He tried to hide it, but I knew him too well.
"Did you feel any pain?" he asked for the third time.
"No," I replied calmly. "Just tiredness. And this feeling... as if the magic inside me is always awake."
He stopped pacing and stared at me, his jaw clenched.
"This can't affect our child," he said, his voice low, heavy with tension. "The dark magic you carry shouldn't reach him."
I swallowed hard.
"What if it does?" I asked. "What if everything I am ends up touching him somehow?"
Conrad knelt before me, holding my hands carefully, as if I were made of glass.
"You're not a curse, Maya," he said firmly. "You never were. The Bond wouldn't have united our souls if it put our child at risk."
"But the Bond has never dealt with a shadow-consuming hybrid," I retorted, feeling the fear finally escape. "I feel the magic reacting differently since the attack. It's not pain, Conrad. It's adaptation."
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.
"Then let's stop this adaptation from progressing," he said. "If necessary, I'll go against the entire council. Against my mother. Against anyone."
"What if they say the baby is a risk?" I asked in a whisper. "What if they use this as yet another reason to remove me from the throne?"
Conrad opened his eyes immediately, his gaze hard.
"Then they'll find out what happens when they try to touch what's mine."
Silence spread between us.
I placed my hand on my belly again, feeling a fragile calm, almost too delicate for that world at war.
"I feel him," I murmured. "Not with fear. Not with pain. It's as if he's protected... by me."
Conrad placed his hand on mine, his fingers trembling slightly.
"Then we'll protect him together," he said. "Even if it means facing the very darkness of the kingdom."
The truth was simple and cruel.
I carried within me two opposing forces: the magic the world feared and the life I most wanted to save.
And, for the first time, I didn't know which one the kingdom would try to destroy first.
Conrad's touch was still on my belly when I felt something different. It wasn't pain. It was a silent warning, as if my body were pleading for care.
"We need to be cautious," I finally said. "Not just with the advice. With the magic."
Conrad nodded slowly. "Kael already suspected that the consumption of shadows doesn't disappear. He said the energy settles, looks for a place to stay."
"And now it has found it," I murmured.
I got out of bed and walked to the window. The castle seemed too quiet for a place about to crumble. Guards patrolled, torches burned, and yet everything seemed fragile.
"If Solange finds out..." I began.
"She won't," Conrad interrupted firmly. "Not yet. This information doesn't leave this room."
"Not even Kael?" I asked, turning to him.
Conrad hesitated for a second. "Kael needs to recover first. He already carries the weight of having been almost killed for knowing too much."
I sighed. Fear tightened around me again.
"What if the black magic tries to defend itself?" I questioned. "What if it reacts to the baby as it reacts to threats?"
Conrad approached again, but this time he didn't touch me immediately. His eyes scanned my face, my body, as if searching for invisible signs.
"Then let's limit its use," he said. "No consuming shadows. No direct confrontations."
I let out a short, humorless laugh. "You're asking a hybrid queen to ignore a war knocking at the door."
"I'm asking for my child's mother to survive," she replied, her voice heavy with emotion.
The weight of that sentence fell upon me.
I placed my hand on my chest, feeling the Bond vibrate softly, as if attentive to our conversation. There was no rejection. No warning. Only presence.
"Perhaps the Bond has already chosen a path," I said. "Perhaps it knows that this child needs to be born exactly as it is."
Conrad clenched his fists. "Or perhaps the Bond is testing us once more."
The sound of footsteps in the corridor made us freeze.
Light knocks on the door.
"Your Majesties," said a guard's voice. "The council requests the king's presence. Rumors are spreading through the castle."
Conrad took a deep breath and looked at me.
"Stay here," he asked. "Don't let anyone in."
I nodded, though I knew danger didn't need to cross doors to reach me.
When he left, I sat back down, hugging myself. The energy within me stirred again, more restrained, almost respectful.
"I will protect you," I whispered to the life growing inside me. "Even if the whole kingdom turns against us."
Outside, the castle still stood.
But I knew.
The real battles were only beginning.
I stayed alone in the room for long minutes, listening only to the distant sounds of the living castle. Muffled voices, hurried footsteps, doors opening and closing. Everything continued, even when my world seemed suspended.
I placed my hand on my belly again. There was a warmth there, gentle, constant. It wasn't the energy of the shadows. It was something else. Ancient. Strong.
"You feel everything, don't you?" I murmured, with a sad smile. "The fear, the anger, the hope..."
The Link responded with a light vibration, almost a consolation. For the first time since it all began, I didn't feel judgment coming from it. Only acceptance.
I stood up and walked to the mirror. The queen staring back at me seemed more tired than ever, but also more determined. I was no longer just someone trying to survive. There was something that depended on me now.
And that changed everything.
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the magic settle, contained, obedient to my will. Perhaps it was possible to control it. Perhaps I wasn't condemned to repeat the same mistakes.
But deep down, an unease remained.
Because if the council was already whispering secrets...
If Solange was moving pieces in the shadows...
Then it wouldn't be long before someone noticed.
That within me, not only the future of the kingdom was growing. But something that could decide its end.