Chapter 20: What we have become: The moment

Kieran Silvermane

I noticed how she was trying not to, but she was still too self-aware. Pulling me back, I shrugged out of my jacket while Elena watched me as I draped it over the lantern.

The bright light that made us feel exposed dimmed to almost nothing, casting everything in shadows.

The darkness felt safer somehow. Intimate. Like we were the only two people in the world.

“Better?” I asked.

She nodded, barely maintaining eye contact with me.

I moved back to her, my hands finding her waist again. I lifted her easily and her legs wrapped around my waist on instinct.

The contact sent electricity through both of us. I could feel every inch of her pressed against me, and could feel the heat of her even through our clothes.

“Is this—” I started.

“Yes.” She cut me off, her hands in my hair, pulling my mouth back to hers. “Don’t ask. Just—”

I understood. Talking would ruin this. This was wrong and we knew it, and having any time to be logical did not help.

I carried her the few steps to the bench, setting her down gently. My hands moved to the buttons of her blouse, my fingers shaking clumsily at the urgency.

Elena helped me, her own hands working on my shirt until our fabrics pulled on the floor.

The air was cool against my skin, but everywhere Elena touched burned.

I kissed down her neck, remembering how she had reacted earlier. Her head tilted back, giving me access, and I took full advantage. My teeth grazed her pulse point and she gasped.

“Kieran.”

The sound of my name on her lips only stimulated me more.

I worked my way lower, kissing along her collarbone to the swell of her breasts. She was trembling under my hands, her fingers digging into my shoulders.

Each touch made me learn something new about her. The way she shivered when I kissed the hollow of her throat. The small sound she made when my teeth scraped against her skin. And how her nails raked down my back when I found a particularly sensitive spot.

I loved the feel of it.

My hand moved lower, sliding beneath the waistband of her pants. She jerked against me when I found her center, already wet and ready.

“Fuck, Elena,” I breathed against her skin.

I worked her slowly, watching her face in the dim light. The way her eyes fluttered closed and how her lips parted on silent gasps. I noticed the way her hips moved against my hand, seeking more.

She was beautiful like this. Completely undone.

Her walls clenched around my fingers, and I could feel how close she already was. The broken bond between us was amplifying everything.

I added another finger, and her back arched off the bench. Her hands scrabbled, finally gripping my forearms.

“Please,” she whispered.

“Please what?”

“I need—” She couldn’t finish the sentence.

I knew what she needed.

I pulled my hand away and helped her out of the rest of her clothes. Then mine.

We were both breathing hard, both past the point of rational thought.

I positioned her on her hands and knees on the bench, my hands steady on her hips despite how badly they wanted to shake.

“Tell me if this is too much,” I said. “Please make sure to tell me if you need me to stop.”

She looked back over her shoulder at me, and the trust in her eyes nearly undid me. “Don’t you dare stop.”

I entered her slowly, giving her time to adjust. She was tight and perfect and I had to force myself to go slow when every instinct screamed to bury myself completely.

When my length was fully inside her, I drove deeply. Starting slowly and gradually picking up pace.

The sensation was overwhelming. I could feel her everywhere. Not just where our bodies connected, but in my chest, in the way my wolf reacted, in places I didn’t have names for. The sensation was indescribable.

Elena did not help me, as she made a small tole of her hips that shattered my control.

I moved on an even faster pace, finding a rhythm that had her gasping my name. My hands gripped her hips, holding her steady as I thrust deeper.

Her hair fell forward, creating a curtain around her face. I gathered it in one hand, pulling gently so I could see the column of her throat. Then leaned forward and kissed the back of her neck.

She was making small sounds with each thrust that drove me insane. My other hand moved around to her front, finding her center again. She cried out when I touched her, her whole body shuddering.

“That’s it,” I murmured against her neck. “Let go, Elena. I’ve got you.”

I could feel her getting closer, her walls tightening around me. My own release was building but I forced it back, wanting her to finish first.

My fingers worked her in time with my thrusts. Faster. Harder.

She came with my name on her lips, her entire body going rigid before the tremors took over. The sensation of her clenching around me nearly broke me.

The bond flared brilliant gold in my mind’s eye as she fell apart, and for a moment I could feel everything she felt—the overwhelming pleasure, the release, the rightness of us together like this.

I pulled out quickly, my own control hanging by a thread. I could not let myself continue in it. It was not worth risking it for her life.

But before I could finish the thought, Elena turned. Her hands found my chest, pushing me down onto the bench.

“Your turn.”

I stared up at her as she straddled me, her movements intentional. She pushed my pants lower, freeing me completely.

Then she positioned herself and sank in one smooth motion.

We both groaned at the sensation. This angle was different. I could see her face, and watch every expression that crossed it and I realized with startling clarity that I wanted to do this over and over again

Her hands braced on my shoulders as she moved,

quietly tucking her hair back into her neck.

It still felt like an unreal reality to me that I could see her this way, hold her this way, and be with her this way.

My hands moved to her breasts, and my thumbs reached for her nipples. Elena gasped, her pace faltering.

“Don’t stop,” I pleaded.

She didn’t.

She moved faster, her breath coming in short pants. I thrust up to meet her, matching her rhythm.

One of my hands moved to her hip, guiding her movements. The other stayed on her breast, teasing and testing what made her gasp.

She threw her head back, her hair cascading down her back. The movement pushed her chest forward and I couldn’t resist. I leaned up and took one nipple in my mouth.

Elena cried out as my actions distorted her movement from the piercing overwhelming intensity.

“Kieran,” she gasped. “I can’t—I’m going to—”

“Do it,” I said against her skin. “Come for me again.”

I noticed the tightness on her face from the fight to hold back. But she could not.

She let out her wet juice, spilling over me. Her whole body went taut, and a keening sound escaped her throat as she shattered around me.

The sensation of her falling apart on top of me pushed me over the edge and I lost my resistance.

I came hard, my hands gripping her hips tight enough that I feared it might bruise her.

She collapsed against my chest, both of us breathing like we had run a marathon. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close as the aftershocks faded.

For a long moment, neither of us moved. We just sat there in the darkness, our hearts pounding against each other, trying to process what had just happened.