Chapter 19: The Chapter is Over or Not?

What happened before I smashed that red sports car with my baseball bat was:

As I continued listening to my father's old cassette recordings throughout the week, I stumbled upon some unexpected revelations.

Initially, he recommended random songs, but over time, I noticed a recurring theme - his selections often featured lyrics hinting at longing, escape, or the search for true love.

In certain sessions, he spoke of travel and subtly referred to finding "a place where I truly belong." Listening closely, I realized he must have been wrestling with personal dilemmas and aspirations even as he hosted these radio segments.

Late-night radio shows featured him taking calls from listeners seeking advice. He offered cryptic yet comforting guidance about "making choices for oneself" and "listening to the heart." He even mentioned how for some, the burden of choices they had to make was a luxury to others.

He also talked about taking risks and following one's passion, subtly suggesting the idea of pursuing love and happiness through his hosting. This made me think that he must have met my mother around that time.

The most revealing recording, however, shed light on my unanswered questions. In this segment, Dad was asked about his future plans.

"You often talk about happiness and pursuing one's dreams," his co-host remarked. "Is there something specific in mind for your future? Although considering your family background, it must be pretty straightforward for you, right?"

Dad paused for a moment before responding, "Not necessarily. You know about my love for cooking, especially baking."

The co-host chuckled, acknowledging Dad's culinary prowess. "Your baked goods are famous throughout the broadcasting club."

"Sometimes," Dad continued, "I think about opening a bakery in the outskirts, having a small farm, and spending my entire life with my loved ones and animals. Sometimes, I just feel like I want that kind of life ahead of me."

Silence followed for a few seconds. "I could hardly ever tell that you might be thinking about such things," the co-host remarked. "You're always working hard to excel among your peers. After all, you're a top student from the business department." The co-host seemed to be a friend of Dad's.

Dad sighed and shared a personal insight. "I think it's all because of that person."

The co-host inquired, "That person?"

Dad confirmed, "Yes, it's only now that I've come to understand what I want after meeting that person."

I smiled, knowing he referred to Mom. It was heartwarming to hear his thoughts and feelings expressed in this way. I wondered if it was appropriate to discuss personal matters on air, but considering it was a late-night segment, perhaps anything was fair game.

"As the son of Genevieve Whitaker, who is known for her dedication and integrity, I often feel the weight of expectations," Dad continued. "She's been through a lot in her life, but she's never strayed from the righteous path and set a remarkable example for countless people worldwide. Following in her footsteps, however, terrifies me. Although she's never explicitly mentioned it, it's clear what she expects from me as her son."

The co-host tried to reassure Dad, saying he possessed the skills and intelligence to succeed in inheriting the family business. However, Dad remained uncertain.

"I might have never shared what's been on my mind if I hadn't met that person. She's shown me what I truly desire and where I belong. I just hope that one day, I can free myself from the chaos in my mind. And if that person would be by my side, I suppose this chaos would not be so unbearable after all."

The recording concluded and I now had a deeper understanding of my father's inner struggles. When he realized he didn't fit into high society, he continued trying to please Grandma. However, after meeting Mom, he couldn't suppress his true desires any longer.

He must have been very upset when he found out that my grandmother had tried to break them up behind his back. That must have been the last straw for him.

It might have been selfish for him to leave his mother, who had no one else but him, but one couldn't entirely blame him. He was going through an immense personal crisis.

However one question remained unanswered - how could Grandma, whom Dad considered such a righteous and hardworking person, be linked to the financial corruption that the grumpy sloth had mentioned?

The grumpy sloth had told me that she had committed fraud, and I had to consider the possibility that this was the reason Dad had left. Dad wasn't naive; if he regarded Grandma as righteous, he must have had good reasons to believe so.

I only had one person in mind who could answer my questions without hurting Grandma.

Jack's voice brought me back to the present. "Hey, are you crying?" he asked, concerned. Only now did I realize that I was a crying mess, tears streaming down my cheeks and at the realization, I started crying out loud, which sent poor Jack into a slight panic.

...

"May I ask who told you this?" Ben inquires as we sit across from each other in the library. I have come to disturb his 'me-time.' Ben is the only person I can think of when I want to inquire about Grandma's reality without her finding out and hopefully uncover the real truth.

"I'm not going to tell you. You've known that person longer than me, and I suspect you might be biased," I respond.

Ben nods in agreement, a small smile forming on his typically stoic face. It is the first time I see such a genuine smile on him.

"Alright, to answer your question, there's no one in this entire country who can match Genie grandma," Ben replies, surprising me with his straightforwardness.

"I still can't fully grasp how a single woman could amass and sustain such power and success throughout her life. She's essentially built an empire single-handedly and continues to stand tall," Ben continues, his respect and admiration evident.

"Most of all, I admire her for her integrity and principles. She's a wise person who's always walked the righteous path," Ben concludes, his words similar to Dad's.

"So, does that mean no one can accuse her of financial corruption?" I press, wanting assurance before taking my next step, fueled by anger.

"Lila, even if Genie grandma were involved in any financial wrongdoing, no one in this country could dare to accuse her. In fact, she wields significant influence, possibly even over the prime minister. There's a reason we call her 'Genie grandma'—her influence is nothing short of magical," Ben explains and I nod slowly, taking in all the necessary information.

Grumpy Sloth had sown seeds of doubt about Grandma and humiliated me in front of the entire college just for nothing. My empathy for him, doubts about his own issues, and any positive sentiments have given way to pure hatred and rage. I have an intense urge to confront him, to grab him by the collar and make him watch his attitude.

And that very urge has led me to confront him, clutching his collar tightly as I speak through gritted teeth, "Listen here, mister. I know that the one with the upper hand in this situation is me. So, you'd better watch that shitty rotten attitude of yours."

"Have you gone sick in your head!" Grumpy Sloth shouts as he pushes my hand away from his collar, but I glare back at him and push him behind with my baseball bat pressing against his chest.

"You're the one who told me that my grandma is some fraud," I say as I push him once again with the bat, causing him to step backward, confusion and rage mixing on his face.

"You're the one who told me that you can get her into trouble so that you can make me your minion," I continue to push him with the bat, my voice raised. "And you're also the one who made me humiliate myself like a clown and forced me to do bungee jumping when I'm afraid of heights. And you're asking me if I'm sick in the head? You sure do have the audacity, you prick."

I'm not holding back my tone, and a crowd has gathered around us.

"So what?" Grumpy Sloth says as he shoves the bat away, finally realizing that I'm done speaking. I scoff at his audacity once again; how can a person be this arrogant? I just can't believe it.

"This is what high society is all about," he continues, glaring at me as if I owe him something. "It's about using one another for your own gain, deceiving others, crushing their hopes, and degrading them. You should have known. I even warned you that you wouldn't fit in here."

I shake my head and take a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose, gathering my words. I finally look back at his pathetic face and say, "First of all, I never asked you to warn me about anything, so fuck you and fuck your great knowledge about high society. And second, stay the fuck away from me and my grandma from now on, because next time, it won't be your car, but your head that my bat will strike." I swing the bat over my shoulder and walk away with a big, satisfactory smile on my lips.

I'm smiling because I know this chapter is over --- or is it just my wishful thinking ---