Chapter 24 Obsession or love
Alex just stared at the phone as it vibrated in his hand, the screen lighting up with Nathan’s name. His heart pounded hard in his chest, his breath shallow. He wanted to… No, he needed to hear his voice, to feel his touch, but his mind was torn. The decision he had made earlier weighed heavily on him, pulling him in the opposite direction.
The call went unanswered.
He exhaled shakily. Then, almost instantly, the phone buzzed again. This time, he gave in and answered.
“Yes, what do you want, Nathan?” he said, trying to keep his voice level, even though his insides were a storm.
“Alex… I want to see you,” Nathan’s voice cracked through the line, raw with emotion. “My chest hurts so badly. Please, come around… I just want to see you. Just for a while.”
Alex closed his eyes, the sound of Nathan’s pain slicing through his resolve. His fingers clenched around the phone. If only Nathan knew how much he craved his touch too—how many times he had replayed their memories in his head, how empty his nights had felt without him.
But pride and confusion held him back. He couldn't just give in. Not again.
He forced his tone into something neutral. “Nathan, I told you… I needed time to think. You can’t just call me like this and expect…”
A soft, trembling reply, cut him short. “I know what you told me,” A silence stretched, his voice shaking. “But please, come around. I’m begging you.” There was a sharp hitch in his breath before he broke completely. “Sweet pie… I think I’m going to die tonight.”
Alex froze. The words hit him like reality. He wondered if he meant trying to kill himself. He stood up immediately. “Nat will you stop saying that”
“The alcohol… it’s not working,” Nathan sobbed through the line. “Please… please, come to me. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Nathan, please stop crying?” Alex’s voice cracked with panic. “Listen to me, you need to get a grip, okay? Don’t do anything stu…”
The line went dead.
“Damn it, Nat!” Alex hissed, yanking the phone from his ear and pacing the office in a frenzy. “What the hell are you drinking in that state?”
His heart was racing now, adrenaline surging as he stared at his phone, willing it to ring again. When it didn’t, he tried calling back—but it went straight to voicemail.
“Shit!”
Without hesitation, Alex grabbed his car keys and stormed out of the office, phone still pressed to his ear as he tried Nathan’s number again and again. No answer.
Ten minutes later, he screeched to a halt in front of the one-bedroom apartment he had rented for Nathan six months ago. His pulse thundered in his ears as he punched in the door code and pushed it open.
“Nathan?” he called, stepping into the dim, silent sitting room but it was empty
“Nat, where are you?” Alex called out again, his voice growing more frantic as he checked every corner of the apartment. The bedroom was empty. In the bathroom, there was no sign of him. He hit redial on his phone, pacing as the line went through.
Then someone picked up.
“Hey, this is the bartender,” a male voice said. “You need to come get your friend. He’s dead drunk and barely coherent.”
Alex's grip tightened on the phone. “Where exactly is he?”
The bartender gave the location, and Alex was already halfway out the door. He jumped into his car and sped off, his heart pounding like a war drum. It wasn’t far, just a few blocks away, but every second felt like eternity.
“Damn it, am I in love with him or is it an obsession? No, it's none of those. It's just caring for a friend.”
When he arrived, he spotted Nathan slumped over at the corner of the bar, his head resting on the counter, eyes half-shut, and body limp.
“Damn it, Nat,” Alex muttered under his breath, striding over quickly. “What the hell are you doing? Drinking like this? Didn’t you swear never to get wasted again?”
Nathan barely stirred. His words were slurred and weak. “Alex… you came. I thought I was gonna die tonight…”
“Stop that nonsense. You’re not dying,” Alex snapped, his voice rough but laced with worry. He wrapped an arm around Nathan’s waist and lifted him up from the chair.
“I’m here now. Let’s go.”
Nathan leaned into him, muttering brokenly, “Please… help me.”
The ride back was quiet but heavy. Nathan kept repeating those words, barely conscious, his voice small. Alex kept one hand on the wheel and the other on Nathan’s trembling arm, jaw clenched as he drove through the night.
The moment they stepped into the apartment, Alex didn’t waste a second. He quickly stripped down to his innerwear, knowing full well what was coming—Nathan had drunk too much, and it was only a matter of time before he threw it all up.
Nathan’s voice cracked through the tension. “Will you kiss my pain away, please? My chest hurts… so much.” Tears streamed freely down his flushed cheeks, his expression pleading.
Alex’s heart clenched. “Yes… I’ll kiss it all away. But first, let’s get you sobered up a little. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
“Please,” Nathan whispered, clutching his hand tightly, “don’t leave. Stay with me. Don’t go home.”
Alex glanced at the wall clock, it was half past six. He sighed, giving in. “Alright. I’m staying. Let’s get you cleaned up first.”
He started to undress him but when Nathan lurched forward, he led him gently to the toilet, just in time as he started retching into the toilet. But eventually ended up vomiting everything. Alex held him steady through it, murmuring quietly, wiping his mouth when he was done.
Without a word, he helped him out of his clothes and settled him carefully into the half-filled bathtub.
Nathan gripped his wrist. “Get in with me. Please.”
Alex hesitated for a beat, then nodded. Stripping off the last of his clothes, he stepped in beside him. The cool water hit his skin like a balm, washing away the heat, the stress, the tension of the day. He leaned back, and Nathan curled against him, head on his chest, sobbing quietly.
“I’m sorry,” Nathan choked. “For drinking too much. I didn’t know what else to do. I was drowning and I…I thought I would be okay but—”
“Shh…” Alex whispered, gently combing his fingers through Nathan’s damp curls. “I know. I know… I’m sorry too. Just breathe, okay? You’re safe now.”
Nathan’s sobs softened, his body growing heavy against Alex’s. The water stilled around them, the bathroom dim and quiet. Minutes passed and Nathan stopped sobbing. He was feeling the rising and falling of Alex's chest but gradually he drifted to sleep.
Eventually, without realizing it, Alex’s eyes drifted shut—and he fell asleep, holding Nathan close in the tub, their bodies locking each other in silence and the remnants of raw emotion.
Minutes passed before Nathan stirred, feeling a bit cold and realizing they were still inside the tub. Then he turned his head to stare at Alex who woke up as well. Their eyes locked in silence. Their temperature started rising, chasing away the cold. Nathan lifted his hand to his chest, then rested his head back but sideways as if listening to his heart beat.
“It's beating fast,” Nathan muttered with a chortle. “Sweet pie, I like it when it beats like this, and I wish I were responsible. Please call me your Nat.”
Alex smiled and whispered to him. “My silly Nat, who else is here if not you, hmm. You're responsible for it.”
“May I ask something else, sweet pie?”
“Yes, anything my Nat,” Alex whispered back, his hand caressing his hair.
“Make love to me.” He whispered, “Even if it's going to be the last time.”
“It might not be the last time, my Nat,” Alex whispered back, emotion taking over. The moment Nathan lifted his face to gaze at him, he captured his lips in a passionate kiss.