Chapter 208: Getting there

Alex pulled him closer. It wasn't desperate, but it was like someone holding onto something they had already lost once.

Lucas bent slightly, resting his forehead on Alex’s head.

“I’m really glad we met again… my Alex,” he whispered.

Alex closed his eyes. His arms tightened around Lucas’s waist, his hands resting warmly.

“And this time…” Alex murmured, “I’m not letting distance, fear, or anyone steal you away again.”

Lucas stilled. His heart is single, with one pure, hopeful beat.

Slowly, he pulled back just enough to look into Alex’s eyes.

And for the first time, he realized this wasn’t fate finding them.

This was someone choosing him.

Lucas gazed at him happily, his chest warmed strangely. Then slowly his smile faded. Still looking at Alex, he asked, “Were we happy?”

Alex became quiet. This time he answered more slowly. “We had bad days.”

Lucas listened.

Alex smiled faintly.

“You got angry with me because I got jealous and stupid.”

Lucas blinked and laughed.

Alex nodded and looked away.

Lucas pulled his face to look at him. “Tell me more.”

Alex smiled lightly.

“You ignored me sometimes, still because of my stupidity or overprotectiveness.”

Lucas stared, his hands still on his shoulder.

Alex's smile softened.

“But, you always came back.”

Lucas looked down. Then quietly, he asked, “Did I say I loved you often?”

Alex smiled and his answer came immediately.

“Yes, my love.”

Lucas looked surprised.

Alex laughed. “You showed it more though.”

Lucas looked at him.

Alex smiled.

“You remembered small things.”

His eyes softened.

“You stayed when I needed someone.”

Lucas looked up. He was getting emotional.

“And…”His voice became quieter.

“You always touch me whenever I'm around you .”

Lucas froze.

Alex smiled.

“Your shoulder?” Lucas looked at him.

His smile softened.“My hand.”

Lucas stared. His chest suddenly tightened. Without realizing it, fingers moved from Alex’s shoulder to his hand.

Alex let him hold his hand, then he looked up at him and smiled.

“I don't want to eat anymore, you can…” Lucas started.

“Me too. Your smiles have filled me up.” Alex said and stood up. “Come, let's sit over there.”

Lucas withdrew his hand and followed him. He led Lucas to the couch sitting area holding his hand.

As they settled down beside each other, Lucas lifted one of his legs onto the couch to be able to look at Alex’s face.

“So I guess right from time, my Dad never supported our friendship, right?” Lucas asked in a low voice.

“Yes, but don't let that bother you. He can't live your life for you, okay.”

Lucas’s fingers moved slightly but paused near Alex’s hand. It didn't touch him but just close.

Alex looked down, then looked up.

Lucas laughed nervously. “Maybe my body remembers before my head.”

Alex stared. Then slowly placed his hand beside Lucas’s. He didn't hold or say anything.

Lucas looked at their hands. Then quietly asked, “One last question for now.”

Alex looked at him and nodded.

Lucas swallowed, his voice softer. “When you say, I love you to me,” His eyes lifted to meet Alex’s. “Do you still mean it the same way or are you feeling sorry for me?”

Alex stared at him without hesitation or drama. Then with a warm voice, he said softly, “More.”

Lucas's heart somersaulted.

Alex smiled. “Because before…”

His eyes stayed on Lucas. “I loved someone who remembered me.”

His voice softened. “But now…”

His fingers moved slightly closer.

“I’m falling for someone who keeps choosing me without remembering why.”

Lucas looked at him. His throat tightened more. His eyes burned slightly. Then quietly, he said, “You say dangerous things.”

Alex laughed softly.

Lucas smiled.

Alex’s hand moved and held Lucas’s.

Lucas looked down, his fingers slowly curled into Alex’s. Looked up at him and smiled.

Then suddenly, a strange feeling overtook him like goosebumps.  Then he started feeling dizzy.

Alex noticed his changed reaction and asked, “Baby, are you okay.?”

He didn’t reply, his hand went to his temple and he mumbled, “Uuh.”

Alex held his hand, “Lucas what's the matter?”

Lucas didn't hear him. He was having flashes of his memories. He had shot his eyes as the headache intensified.

Then he saw a flicker of warm office lights. A table and someone laughing beside him. A hand is moving food onto his plate. He couldn't see the person's face.    Then a voice said something he couldn’t hear.

It was all blurry.

Lucas’s hands grabbed tightly onto Alex’s hand that was holding him.

Alex held on a bit scared of what was happening to him.

Then gradually, his grip on Alex loosened.

“Lucas, what's the matter? Baby are you alright?”

Lucas’s eyes fluttered and opened. Then he blinked.

“Are you okay, what happened?”

“I think it's my memory, but it wasn't clear.”

“Oh dear, you scared me. Did it give you a headache?”

“Yes, I felt as if my head was going to burst open.”

“Sorry dear, should I take you to the hospital?”

“No, I'm fine now. I've seen a doctor before about it. He said I shouldn't worry unless it becomes constant. He said my brain was trying to retrieve the lost memories.”

“Baby, I wish I could help to make it painless.”

“I guess it's because you love me a lot.”

Alex smiled, “Baby, I love you more than I can express.”

Lucas smiled shyly looking down at their locked hand. His heart was racing again.

Alex's heart wasn't left out in the battle. He lifted his hand slowly to Lucas’s chin and lifted his face.

Their eyes locked in an emotion that could not be put into words for god knows how long.

Then Alex found his voice first but could only whisper, “Oh baby…”

Lucas swallowed, his voice lost in the emotion.

Alex's fingers moved on their own caressing his chin, then to his cheek. Slowly he leaned in his eyes moving from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes.

Lucas’s breath caught. Swiftly, he shot to his feet, withdrawing his hand from Alex’s. Even startling Alex at the force he used.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't breathe properly. I..I..”

Alex stood and pulled him into a hug. “Hey, calm down. It's okay. I didn't mean to scare you. I just feel like kissing my baby. I know you couldn't remember us, so I should have asked you first.”

Lucas wrapped his arms around Alex and rested his forehead lightly against his chest. His voice came out softer than before.

“I’m sorry for overreacting.” He paused and gave a small, embarrassed smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever kissed anyone before… or maybe I have. I just can’t remember.”

He slowly pulled away and looked up at him. “Let’s try again.”

Alex blinked, caught off guard. “Huh?”

Lucas nodded once, nervous but certain this time.

“Yes… let’s try again.” His fingers curled slightly at his sides before he added in almost a whisper, “I want you to kiss me.”

For a second, Alex simply stared at him.

Then his expression softened into something warm and patient. He lifted his hand and gently cupped Lucas’s cheek.