Chapter 191: Heart aching

He saw only an unfamiliar confusion.

The sight nearly destroyed Alex completely. His lips parted slightly, but no words came out.

What could he even say now?

The person he loved most in the world had married someone else while looking at him like a stranger.

Alex took a slow step backward.

Then another. The pain in his chest became unbearable. Without letting anyone notice his breaking expression, he turned and staggered away quietly.

Outside the registry, the cold air hit his face hard. He stood beside his car for a long time, staring blankly ahead as tears finally gathered in his reddened eyes.

His hands clenched tightly. He felt like screaming. Like breaking apart. Like dragging Lucas away and demanding he remember him instantly.

However, he couldn’t because Lucas didn’t remember. Forcing him now would only hurt him more.

Alex shut his eyes painfully and inhaled shakily. “When your memories return...” he whispered brokenly to himself, “you’ll come back to me.”

It sounded more like a desperate prayer than confidence. Still, it was the only hope he had left.

Hours later

At the registry earlier that day, the brief moment Lucas’s eyes met Alex’s had unsettled him deeply.

He still couldn’t explain it.

The pain in Alex’s eyes had been so raw and devastating, to the extent that it lingered in his mind long after the ceremony ended.

It wasn’t the look of someone simply losing an ex-lover. It looked like someone was losing his entire world. For some strange reason, Lucas’s chest had tightened painfully the instant he saw it.

The ache followed him throughout the day. Even while family members congratulated them. Even while Derby smiled brightly beside him. Even while his father reassured him softly that marrying Derby might help trigger his lost memories because of their “deep love story.”

Lucas tried to believe it. He truly did, but something felt terribly wrong.

By evening, Derby’s father officially handed them the keys to a massive luxury house as a wedding gift.

Everyone praised the gesture. Lucas appreciated it politely. However, what he couldn’t appreciate was Derby herself.

From the moment they arrived, she hovered around him nonstop like an affectionate lover finally reunited with her husband.

“Are you hungry?”

“Do you want wine?”

“Remember when we almost burned pasta together?”

“You used to love sitting by the balcony with me.”

She kept talking and every story she told seemed rehearsed in some way. To Lucas, it felt like lines memorized from a script.

Lucas tried to cooperate because he genuinely didn’t want to hurt her feelings. But no matter how hard he tried, nothing inside him responded to her affection.

There was no warmth, no familiarity, certainly no love, just discomfort.

By nightfall, exhaustion settled heavily over him. He thought maybe sleep would help. Maybe he was simply overwhelmed. Maybe tomorrow things might feel different.

So after excusing himself quietly, Lucas headed upstairs to shower.

Warm water poured over his body as he stood silently beneath it, hoping it would wash away the strange heaviness suffocating him.

But even then, those wounded eyes of Alex kept appearing in his mind.

Why did seeing him hurt so much? Why did it feel like he had abandoned something important?

Lucas shut his eyes tightly in frustration.

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath.

Several minutes later, he stepped out of the bathroom wearing only loose sweatpants, drying his damp hair with a towel as he walked into the room.

Then he froze.

Derby stood inside. She leaned elegantly against the bed in a silky, revealing nightwear that clearly left little to imagination.

Her lips curved slowly when she saw him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” she purred softly. “I’ve been waiting for you in my room, but you didn’t show up.”

Lucas immediately looked away.

The atmosphere instantly made him uncomfortable. Without meeting her gaze, he asked calmly, “Do you need anything?”

Derby blinked in surprise.

“Need anything?” she repeated softly before walking toward him.    “Sweetheart...It’s our wedding night.”

She stopped directly before him and gently took his hand.

“We’re married now,” she whispered. “You’re a man. You know what happens between a husband and wife. I don’t need to teach…”

Lucas pulled his hand away immediately.

“Listen,” he interrupted firmly. “I don’t feel anything for you, and you know that. So why are you bringing this up?”

The smile on Derby’s face stiffened slightly.

“Come on, sweetheart,” she said quickly, forcing a laugh. “You love me and I love you. It’s just that you don’t remember…”

“Then wait until I remember,” Lucas cut in sharply.

Silence fell heavily.

Derby stared at him in disbelief.

“What?”

“I said wait,” Lucas repeated, irritation creeping into his voice now. “You keep telling me we were in love, right? Fine. Then let me recover my memories naturally instead of forcing something I can’t even feel.”

Derby’s expression darkened.

“But we’re already married!”

“And whose idea was that?” Lucas snapped suddenly.

The harshness in his tone shocked even him.

Derby’s eyes widened.

Lucas exhaled shakily and rubbed his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered tiredly. “I just... I can’t do this tonight.”

Derby stepped closer again desperately.

“You’re only confused right now. If we become intimate maybe your body will remember me…”

“Stop.”

The single word came out colder than intended.

Lucas finally looked directly at her, and the distance in his eyes made her heart sink.

“I don’t want this.”

The rejection hit Derby hard.

“You’re rejecting your own wife?” she whispered painfully.

Lucas remained silent and that silence answered everything.

Frustration suddenly flashed across Derby’s face.

“You didn’t react this way before the accident!” she burst out. “You used to…”

“But I don't fucking remember that!” Lucas shouted suddenly.

The room fell dead silent as his chest rose heavily with restrained emotions.

“Gaddamn it, I’m trying,” he said more quietly afterward. “I swear I’m trying. But every time you come near me like this... it feels wrong.”

Those words shattered whatever patience Derby had left. Tears burned in her eyes, but anger overtook them quickly.

“So what?!” she snapped. “Are you saying that man is the reason?! The one from the registry?!”

Lucas froze slightly.

Alex’s face flashed through his mind again. That pain in those eyes.

His chest ached instantly, and that alone terrified him.

Seeing his silence, Derby’s expression crumbled further.

“You’re thinking about him?” she whispered the question.

Lucas immediately turned away.

“I'm sorry but I'm tired of this.”

“I'm your fucking wife. I'm standing right in front of you and you're thinking about someone who nearly got you killed.

“I need some space,” Lucas said as he walked to the closet.

Before Derby could stop him, Lucas grabbed a shirt, threw it on hurriedly, and walked straight out of the room.

“Lucas!” Derby called after him desperately.

But he didn’t stop.

“I'm your wife. Don't you dare run away from your marital duty.” Derby screamed.

Lucas didn’t stop or even look back. He walked straight out of the building, going nowhere in particular.

Minutes later, he ended up near the servants’ quarters at the far end of the property.

The old gardener, startled to see him, quickly stood up from his small room.

“Sir?”

Lucas forced a tired smile.

“Sorry... Can I stay here tonight?”

The old man looked confused but immediately nodded respectfully.

“Of course, sir.”

Lucas entered quietly.

The small room was nothing compared to the luxurious mansion upstairs. Yet strangely, it felt easier to breathe there.