Chapter 289: I Still Want Him

Holly’s POV

I stood there like an idiot, staring at his closed office door, my back still throbbing from where it hit the desk.

The pain was nothing compared to the burn in my chest. Jealousy hit me like a malfunctioning train…hot, ugly, unstoppable. Hurt twisted right alongside it, making my throat tight and my eyes sting. He pushed me. For her. Some woman who called him Mason and hugged him like she owned him.

I couldn’t breathe right. I couldn't think. All I kept seeing was her arms around him, his hands unhooking them but not fast enough. Not angry enough.

Screw this.

I stormed down the hall to the bathroom, heels clicking too loud, shoulders rigid. Slammed the door behind me and locked myself in the big stall at the end.

My hands were shaking as I hiked up my skirt. The toy was still there, nestled against my clit like a sick reminder of everything we’d done today. All the teasing, the orgasms, the whispers. I felt disgusted and used like some cheap girl.

I yanked it out…wet, slick, humiliating…and wrapped it in a wad of toilet paper until it was buried. Then I chucked it into the trash can under the sink. Hard. It hit the bottom with a dull thud.

Gone.

I washed my hands twice. Scrubbed like I could wash him off me too. Then I just stood there, staring at my reflection in the mirror.

What the hell am I even doing?

My eyes were red-rimmed already even though I didn’t cry. Hair a mess from the day’s activities…lips red from having to bite them to stop myself from moaning.

I looked like someone who’d lost her mind over a guy who clearly had options lined up from his adventures.

This wasn’t me. I wasn’t the girl who let a man control her with a remote. Who got jealous over some rich client. Who let herself get pushed…literally…for a hug.

Well…I’m only that girl when it comes to David, and I hate myself for being this pathetic.

I was better than this.

Or at least I should be.

I splashed cold water on my face, fixed what I could, and walked back to my desk like nothing had happened.

Just in time…my phone was buzzing. Tyler.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, shoved all the hurt down deep where it couldn’t leak out, and answered with the cheeriest voice I could fake.

“Hey, Tyler!”

“Holly! There you are. Haven’t heard from you since yesterday…everything good?”

I forced a laugh. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Head’s been in the clouds lately.”

He chuckled. “Phina was asking about you this morning. Wanted to know if you’re still alive over there.”

“Tell her I’m breathing. Barely. Work’s been insane.”

There was a pause, like he was trying to arrange the words in his head. “Holly, you know that you can talk to me, right? Did David do anything to piss you off? Or try anything funny?”

My brain flashed…unwanted…to last night. David’s mouth on me, hands pinning me down, the way he’d whispered filthy things while I begged. Then this morning…the elevator, the meeting, the supply closet. All of it.

I shook my head hard, like I could shake the memories out.

“Piss me off? Nah. He’s too busy being a perfect boss,” I said, laying the sarcasm on thick. “Probably polishing his halo as we speak.”

Tyler burst out laughing. “Yeah, right. If he grows wings next, call me…I want an autograph with the devil… I mean…Angel.”

We both cracked up, and for a second it felt real. Normal. Like hanging with my old friend instead of drowning in whatever mess I’d made with my boss.

“Hey,” he said, voice softening. “Are you free tomorrow? Saturday? Phina and I wanna hang before we head back Sunday.”

“You guys are leaving so soon? What happened?”

“Yeah. Something came up back home…family stuff. Gotta go clear that up.”

“Okay. Send me the place and time for Saturday. I’ll be there.”

“Nice. Will do.”

Then my office line rang. David’s extension. Of course.

“Gotta run…work calling. Say hi to your fiancée for me?”

“Will do. Talk soon.”

I hung up…thinking about the so-called Rachel’s overbearing face and muttered “Asshole and his new girlfriend” under my breath as I marched to his door.

Knocked once then I went in.

David didn’t look up right away. And when he did…nothing. No smirk. No mischievous glint like all day until she showed up. No heat in his eyes. Just tired. Avoided my gaze completely.

“Get Rachel some refreshment, please,” he said flatly.

My stomach dropped. Refreshment. Like I was just the assistant again.

Inside, I was sulking hard…jealousy chewing me up, hurt bleeding out. But I nodded. Didn’t say a word.

Rachel, sprawled in the guest chair like she owned it, piped up. “Iced Americano. Extra ice. And something sweet…a blueberry muffin if you have it. No nuts. And make sure the coffee’s not bitter.”

Petty. Bossy. Picking at everything like she needed to prove she was in charge.

I didn’t respond. Just turned and left.

Grumbling the whole way to the elevator. “Iced Americano. Extra ice. No nuts. Kiss my ass.”

I went down to the cafeteria in the office building and got the coffee exactly how she wanted. Grabbed a muffin. Napkins. Stirrer. Everything was perfect because I wasn’t giving her ammo.

In front of the door, I exhaled deeply . Snapped my back up, balanced the tray in my hand and walked in.

And stopped dead in the doorway.

Because Rachel was on his lap.

Perched there like it was her throne. His arm was loose around her waist. Her hand on his shoulder. Laughing at something he said.

My heart cracked clean in half.

I set the tray down…tried to, anyway…while she barked orders.

“No, not there…in front of me. Wait, move it left. Open the muffin wrapper for me. And a serviette…folded, please.”

Every word grated into my skull. Every second she sat there, touching him, killed me a little more.

Disappointment burned hot. Anger, hurt and jealousy burned like acid. The pain was so sharp I could barely see.

I’d had enough.

I slammed the tray down…hard. Coffee sloshed and some of the Muffins fell out of the plate.

Both of them jerked, startled. David’s eyes finally met mine fully…wide and surprised.

“Holly?! What the hell is wrong with you?” He said coldly.

“I have better things to do,” I replied, voice shaking but loud. Then I turned and walked out.

“Holly…get back here,” he called. But I didn’t stop.

When I got to my desk, I grabbed my bag, stuffed my phone, charger, everything and left without another glance in their direction.

Then, I stopped by Amber’s cubicle on the way out.

“Hey, I’m heading home.”

She looked up, concerned. “Early again? You okay? You look… rough.”

“I’m tired. I need to rest a little bit. If David or Norman decide to fire me over it, honestly? I wouldn’t mind. I just can’t stay here right now.”

Amber gave me a soft smile. “Go. I’ve got you covered. Rest up.”

“Thanks.”

Down the elevator, out the lobby and then proceeded to flag a cab.

Then, I slid into the back seat and stared out the window as the building disappeared.

Why?

Why would he do this? Tease me all day. Make me feel wanted…special…like I was his, even asked me to be his girlfriend. The orgasms, the whispers, the plans for the weekend.

Only to let some woman from his past sit on his lap the second I turned around.

Was I just a game? A distraction until the real ones showed up?

I felt stupid. Small. Used.

And the worst part?

I still wanted him.

Even now.