Chapter 48

I woke up groggily, groaning and squinting my eyes because of the light. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I stood up quickly, went to the nearest washing basin, and puked the entire contents of my stomach. I rinsed my mouth and face as I was walking out of the bathroom. I felt lightheaded. I held the nearest door for support, otherwise I would have fallen with a loud thud on the floor.

My family rushed inside, coming to my side. Abdulrahman helped me to the bed and gave me a glass of water. That was what I needed.

I drank the water greedily like a thirsty camel. The water went down from my mouth to my stomach, my stomach rumbled. That was what happened to drinking water when you woke up without anything in the stomach.

"What happened?" my voice croaked, my throat was hurting me as I talked. Then I remembered everything. Khadijah choked me to death.

The doctor said, "you shouldn't stress your vocal cords. You shouldn't talk till you're healed," Abdulrahman said while giving me a notepad and pen, "anything you want to say, write it here," he opened a blank page for me while I scribbled down "where is Khadijah?" and showed him.

Yusuf's mother came to me, patted my head softly, "she has been arrested by the police. Our family doctor with the other nurse has been arrested also," she replied while I took my notepad to ask another question.

"What happened to me?"

"Due to some stress and her choking, you collapsed" she stated, "I am sorry," she said while I shook my head. Why was she sorry?

"Her father was my driver. Her father was a gambler and drunkard, but he was one of my favorites at that time because he was always punctual," I heard Yusuf's father say from behind. "I always lectured him to change, but he never listened, then I started searching for any mistakes of his to allow me to fire him. One day, he stole from me. He told me he had a debt to pay and that was why he stole, then I sacked him. Was I at fault that her father was a gambler or he stole my money?" he asked softly. "I never meant any harm to people, I knew her father had been stealing from me, but I had never caught him red-handed. But when I did, I had to sack him. Then why did she come to destroy my family? Why?" he cried, a lone tear escaped his eye duct.

Who said the man never cries? It was only a weak man that didn't cry. I thought.

"I did nothing wrong, but she came to destroy me. Yusuf, my son, has been diagnosed with cancer due to the drugs she used on him, and the doctor said he has only a few months left before he will taste death. My wife's health is similar and mine too," he sniffled.

I took my notepad and scribbled angrily, "Don't be sad. Allah knows what you are passing through. The doctor just said, only Allah knows when and how a person will die. Doctors don't know when someone will die. It's only Allah that knows. These are challenges we are supposed to conquer. The challenges make us who we are. Have faith in Allah because He is Ar-Rahman (The Beneficence), AR-Raheem (The Merciful). He hears and sees our cries and despair because He's As-Sami (The Hearer) and Al-Baseer (The Seer). Allah (SWT) said: "He's the First and Last, the Evident and the Hidden: and He has full knowledge of all things." And He (SWT) also said: "No kind of calamity can occur, except by the leave of Allah, and if anyone believes in Allah, (Allah) guides his heart (aright), for Allah knows all the things. So obey Allah, and obey His Messenger, but if ye turn back, the duty of Our Messenger is but to deliver (the Message) clearly and openly. Allah! There is no God but He, and in Allah, therefore, let the believers put their trust". And He (SWT) also said: "He who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed..." Do you people think that they will be left to say, 'We believe' and not be tested?" I threw at them after I was done with furious writing, I sighed. I wanted to talk, but my throat was in pain. Screw doctors, screw their predictions. Screw them constantly putting humans in a state of fear. They would say something wasn't possible, but were they the Creator, who gave and took?

I looked at my family: mom, Lut, Maryam, Abdulrahman, Yusuf, and his parents.

"Oh dear," Yusuf's father said softly, "Allah really blesses you with knowledge. You are knowledgeable. I wish I was blessed with a daughter like you. May Allah bless you. I've learnt something new today," he remarked, wiping his face.

"And He said in surah AL-Israa, Say: "Call upon Allah, or call upon Rahman, by whatever name ye call upon Him, (it is well). For to Him belongs the Most Beautiful Names. Neither speak thy prayer aloud, nor speak it in a low tone, but seek a middle course between." Say: "Praise be to Allah, Who begets no son, and has no partner in (His) dominion, nor (needs) He any to protect Him from humiliation. Yea, magnify Him for His greatness and glory!" As I finished writing the verse, I felt another wave of nausea. I pushed myself up, scrambling to the toilet, holding my mouth. I groaned as I was vomiting. It was disgusting. I hated vomit!

Abdulrahman came inside, patting my back softly. I rolled my eyes, pushed him away. I got up but fell immediately onto his arms. He carried me back while I hid my face on his chest. This was embarrassing. All families were here.

He tucked me gently on the bed and moved back to his position.

My mom came to me and smiled, "how are you feeling, dear?" she asked while I took my notepad. Alhamdulillah to we that have our speech organs that could talk. Only Allah knows how those who could not talk feel.

"I'm feeling lightheaded, nauseated, tired," I doodled it down.

"Well," she smiled, "Abdullah is now a big brother," she stated in parable because I didn't understand her.

"Meaning..." I mouthed.

"You are pregnant!" they screamed. I mean, all of them except Yusuf and Abdulrahman—They didn't scream. I put my hands protectively on my stomach. I was having a young me and Abdulrahman. I smiled at the thought, but when I glanced at Yusuf, he looked so broken that my smile vanished. Others stopped celebrating when they noticed my gaze on Yusuf. They all walked out, leaving Abdulrahman, Yusuf, and me.

We need to sort out our sins and mistakes.

Abdulrahman came to me and sat beside me while I snuggled closer to him because I needed it. I took my notepad, "I'm sorry, Yusuf. I really waited for you to come back for two years. I cried, prayed, wished, and hoped that one day, but Allah knows. Abdulrahman stood beside me in all those years of pain, hurt, depression. Even though he hurt me, I can't leave him because he is the love of my life," I choked on my tears.

"What of me?" his voice broke me.

"I don't know, but I know Allah will give you your own spouse. Someone that will love you more than I will ever love you. Someone that will never leave you. Your joy and happiness. She'll be your queen, and you will be her king." I cried.

"No," he shook his head, "I can't agree to this, you are my wife," he growled.

"Yeah, I know. I was your wife, but now I'm my husband's wife, Abdulrahman's wife. If you really love me as you said, you will let me go because I've let you go. If you really love someone, you will do anything for his or her happiness, even if it means you let go," I wrote and mouthed to Abdulrahman, "let's go."

Abdulrahman carried me out bridal style, leaving Yusuf, who was crouching on the floor, crying his bleeding heart out.

And I prayed to Allah to bless him.