Chapter 19: Jenny

The next few weeks flew by, I’d avoided the topic of leaving them for Christmas, no one talked about the Thanksgiving meal a few weeks ago, with Mom, and I never brought it up. But it was time for me to leave, and the coward inside of me didn’t even tell them I was leaving a day earlier. I hid my packed bag, and then told Mom to come and pick me early morning when I knew everyone would be sleeping.

Once I was out of the house, I shed a tear, and sighed with relief that no one had caught me leaving. I ran to the limo, my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in every nerve ending, then I gave the driver my bag before he opened the door, and I sat down in the limo.

“Good morning, dear,” she said from the other side of the seat.

“Morning,” I whispered.

I wanted to ask her where she’d got the money from, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t feel important. I’d left like a coward without saying goodbye. I wanted to call Tracey, but I left her the same way I’d done with the boys. No call. Not even a note. Just a text saying I was not good at saying goodbyes.

I hated myself more than them for it. I kept telling myself it was because we were in a fake relationship. No one had promised me anything, and I hadn’t promised them either. Yet, it hurt so damn bad.

Mom played with her pearls. She was dressed completely differently to the way she was last week when she came to dinner. It was as if she had her old clothes back, and I started to get suspicious and wonder what was really going on.

“Don’t make your face like that Jennifer. It really doesn’t become you. Besides, you couldn’t live with the Edwards forever. They’re not your family. I can’t wait to get you home and get you in some proper clothes. I mean, what are you wearing?” She shifted her Gucci sunglasses and eyed me up and down.

“Shirt and jeans.”

She snarled, “I can see that, I’m not blind.”

She replaced one strand that had gone loose from her tight blonde bun and then continued to look out of the window, ignoring me. This felt like Deja vu. Everything from the past started to flash in my mind.

“Mom, how come you have your old Gucci suit on?”

She turned to face me.

“Old? No, this is a new one. I picked it up when I went to Beverly Hills on Tuesday.”

“You went to Beverly Hills?”

She nodded, “Ah-ha. Shopping. It’s a shame you couldn’t come with me.”

“I had exams.”

“I know, dear. But you finished them all now, so you don’t really need to go to school anymore.”

I was so confused. I hadn’t finished them all at all. I still had finals and papers to hand in to get my diploma.

“How did you get the money to go to Beverly Hills?”

“It’s a long, boring story. But, basically between your uncle Mike and oh I can’t remember his name… anyway, between people that needed to help your father, they pulled through, and we’ll be back on track in no time.”

She stretched and patted my knee. “Don’t worry, dear, the charges will be dropped, and we’ll all go back to the way things were before. Everything will be good again, and we can put this nightmare behind us. You can throw those clothes in the trash and forget everything ever happened.”

I sighed. “But I would need to speak to Claire, Trent, Brent and Prent again.”

“Who?”

“You know, the ones who have been looking after me…”

She lifted her hand up to cut me off. Something she did whenever she was annoyed about anything which came out of my mouth.

“Yes. They helped you out for a while. But you need to get them out of your mind. They are not your family, we are. You will be home with us where you belong and you never know, maybe go to college. Haven’t you always wanted that?”

I nodded, but I didn’t see how that was possible. I’d been accepted by Berkeley only. Every other application had been tossed out of the window. I didn’t have the grades nor the funds, so I held on to my acceptance letter, which Claire said I should, and not give up hope.

“I have, but I didn’t think it was possible.”

She chuckled. “Everything is possible if you just believe.”

She rested her head on the back of the chair and then took off her glasses and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to talk anymore. Neither did I, seeing as she had that patronizing tone in her voice when she spoke to me. I didn’t know if I was annoyed with her for picking me up and pretending she was so concerned about my wellbeing, or with myself for acting like a fool and traveling down the wrong road again.

The Edwards had taken me in like a stray dog, and I had to go back to the one place I ‘belonged’ with my parents, even if everything inside me was saying that this was a really bad idea.

* * *

As we landed in New York at JFK, there was another limo to take us to the Waldorf penthouse. I couldn’t believe they had money when a few months ago, they had nothing. Sure, Uncle Mike worked as a realtor and had his hands on a few properties, but I didn’t think he had the type of cash to allow Mom to go shopping and for us to stay at the Waldorf.

We rode in the limo in silence. I turned my phone off, even debated whether to get rid of it. I just wanted to put the boys behind me and move on with life, but it was as if I couldn’t get them out of my mind. I had to blink my eyes a couple of times when the driver came to pick us up. He had blue eyes just like the boys, and for a second as he took off his cap, I thought he was Brent as he smiled and greeted me.

“Toss it in the trash!” Mom declared as Kevin, the driver, was about to put my case in the trunk.

I shouted to him. “No, that has my college applications and essays I need to submit in there too. I need it.”

Mom shook her head. “Oh alright, but we need to get home. I mean, your father has been waiting, and we’ll be getting you new things. You can’t be seen in New York in these rags.”

Once again, she commented on my clothes. She gave Kevin a nod, and he tossed it in the back. I sat down in the limo feeling uncomfortable about being here. We’d only been together for a few hours, yet all the memories of how she’d treated me in the past reared their ugly head, and all I was feeling was regret about agreeing to come in the first place.

The drive to the hotel felt as if it was taking forever, and I popped my head up to see that we were stuck in traffic. My stomach started to make a grumbling sound and I realized we hadn’t eaten since she picked me up this morning. It was way past lunch time. Even on the plane, when the stewardess wanted to serve food, Mom said that I should stick to water.

“Dear, you’ve obviously been eating too much. I mean, you’ve gone up at least four sizes. Here, take this bottle of water. Hopefully it will settle your stomach.” She winced as she passed me the bottle.

“I’ve put on two sizes. And I could happily go up another two. I don’t want water, I want something to eat. Is there no snack in there? I’m starving.”

She bit back, “No. You don’t want to look like that girl. What’s her name, Stacey? I mean, her parents are doctors. They should know better than to let their daughter grow to that size.”

“So, it’s better to look like a stick insect than a healthy size six.”

“There’s nothing healthy about being fat. And you’re not a healthy size six. More of an overweight ten/twelve. I’ve managed to keep my figure after all this time and even after giving birth to you. You were such a big baby. You need to think about these things. I mean, Kurt wouldn’t want to get married to a fatty.”

What did she say?

I ignored the stint about my weight, but the mere mention of hearing her talking about wedding bells and Kurt in the same sentence made me come out in hives as I started to itch.

“Urgh, you’re dirty too. A good shower and salad will be waiting for you when we reach the Waldorf.”

We hadn’t even been together for a day, and all the warning signs were screaming at me. I didn’t know if I hated Mom or myself more. Either way, I was stuck for now, I had to find a way to get out of this situation.

How could I?

The boys wanted us to be in a fake relationship to get at Kurt. I didn’t even say bye properly to my one and only friend. I’d burned all bridges in Boston, and I hadn’t even been gone a day. If I’d done things properly, as soon as we landed in NY, I would be sticking my finger up at Mom and telling her there was no way I was spending Christmas with them.

There was no doubt about it. I was back to square one. As stuck as I was back in the country club. Before I could even reply, she started to make the call. I slumped in my chair because nothing about what was taking place gave me any comfort. If anything, it just made me feel sick.