Chapter 14: Jenny

Brent ran out of the kitchen, and he left eggs and bacon for me. It was crazy. I’d eaten more here than I had the whole year I was at home. There was something about this place; it felt more like home than my real home ever had.

The boys had been so good to me. They cooked for me, cleaned and at times, tended to my every need. It was as if I was in seventh heaven, yet the question about what it all meant had never been brought up. I never said a word, because I was worried about being rejected. This wasn’t the time for more bad news, and I was scared if I asked them, they would turn me away. I couldn’t take the rejection, not after all I’d been through since Dad was released.

Then again, Trent told me the crazy idea about coming up with a fake relationship, pretending I was dating all three of them. I wanted to ask what we’d been doing, but Prent and Trent telling me about faking it answered the question.

I’d given Brent my virginity, but then Prent had done the same to me. I agreed to the fake relationship, not because of them, but more for me. I wanted Kurt to pay in some way for all the times he’d made me feel insignificant, and even more for the shit he’d posted online. Some of them were horrible, damn right deplorable. Photos I’d taken with him, my face scratched out and money pouring out from the sky, with comments about me being a thief. He’d gone out of his way to humiliate me and make everyone around me know that my dad was a thief. The boys didn’t want me to see it, but once they left for school, I scrolled Instagram and Twitter, only wishing I hadn’t.

I sighed as I slumped on the sofa. I should be studying or at least handing in a paper. I hadn’t done much studying on the weekend. Whenever I did try, my mind would drift. Besides, I’d spent some time with Prent, seeing as Brent and Trent were busy working all the time. It’d been great spending time with him alone.

I could tell he wasn’t too keen on the fake thing. Maybe it was a test, and they didn’t know if I was into them or not?

Man, was I confused!

I heard the doorbell ring, and I assumed one or maybe three of them had come back from school and decided to keep me company. Then again, if it was one of them, why the hell would they be ringing the bell? I pondered this as I drew closer to the door.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I screamed as I opened the door.

Tracey was standing on the other side of it. She was in a pink dress with matching pumps. She looked so adorable, even if that wasn’t the look she was going for.

“Well, I got your message. I saw Brent on the way to school, and he said that you weren’t coming in today. So, he gave me your address, and here I am. You going to invite me in, or just talk to me from the door?”

I shook my head. “Sorry, come in. Damn, but we have exams.”

“Yeah, and I don’t have an exam today. I couldn’t let you be here all alone. I decided to come and keep you company.”

I shrugged. “There’s no double shake here.”

She laughed, “I don’t drink them 24/7 you know. Well, I have been drinking them a lot less.”

“How comes?”

“Dunno, just feel like I could do with losing a few pounds. Seeing as I’m hanging out with a skinny girl.”

I motioned for us to go to the living room.

“I’m not that skinny!” I said as I put my hands on my hips.

“See, you can put your hands on your hips. As for me…”

She was exaggerating as she tried to put her hands on her hips, as if it was impossible. It made me laugh, something which Tracey was good at.

I put my hands on Tracey’s waist, and she pushed me away.

“Hey girl, you’ve got three boyfriends. Don’t be adding me to the list. I don’t go down like that,” Tracey blurted.

I laughed. “Neither do I.”

Tracey sighed, then came out with whatever was on her mind. I could never read her, but she said whatever she was thinking. This was what I loved about her.

“Right, seeing as you skipped school and have no intention of studying, what are we doing today?”

She shocked me. I didn’t expect her to want to skip school too. I nearly choked, thinking she had really changed. I thought she was a straight-A student for not only studying so hard, but attending classes too. Then again, when we first officially spoke, she did say something about spending hours in the bathroom, and she knew about leaving school through the back, so I shouldn’t be too surprised.

“Oh, so now you’re happy I came to visit,” Tracey teased.

I sighed as I sunk into the couch.

“Yeah, you know how to make me laugh.”

“You have three boyfriends, and none of them know how to make you laugh?”

She bounced right next to me. She did everything with such exaggeration, even tossing her bag to the side and nearly knocking over the lamp.

“Shoot, I shouldn’t have done that!”

I agreed. “No, you shouldn’t have.”

“Mom’s always complaining that I’m such a slob.”

“She’s not the only one.”

“Hey,” she said as she slapped my arm. “You shouldn’t be saying things like that. You should be saying, no Tracey, you’re the neatest person I know.”

“Oh, so now you want me to lie.”

She nodded. “Yeah, that doesn’t sit well with me.” She clapped her hand and made such a noise, I shrieked. “What are we doing today?”

“We could go to your place. I mean, this house is nice, and I love staying here, but it’s not really mine. If you know what I mean.”

“Sounds like a plan. Both parents are at the hospital. They have some crazy shift, so I know they won’t be back until late. We can make milkshakes and just hang out. I can even teach you how to dance!”

I slapped her arm again, “That’s such a stereotype! I mean, if anyone needs to know how to dance, it’s you. I saw the way you were moving the last time we played Just Dance. You need some moves, girl.”

She covered her face. “Oh no, now you’re talking like me and yeah, you’re right I’m the one who’s stiff as a carrot, or so my dad likes to say whenever we play together. Come on. Sounds like a plan, but just one thing.”

“What?”

“You need to get out of those jammies. No wonder the guys are all over you like a wet blanket. You walk around all day like you’re so innocent in your Minnie Mouse hot pants PJs showing those nipples and breasts all day.”

I winked at her. “Maybe you should try it, and you could have three boyfriends too.”

She clutched her breasts. “Shit, I have enough titty for four!”

We both laughed as I jumped off the couch and decided to take a quick shower.

“You know it’s kind of sad. Until now, I never felt the need to study. Sure, I know that education is important, but when you don’t know what you want to be in life, there just isn’t the motivation to do it.”

She smiled. “Doesn’t mean you should settle for being dumb. I don’t mean to be harsh, but you didn’t feel the need to study ‘cause you were rich. If the mess with your dad gets cleared, you’ll go back to not feeling that need. My parents have showed me the struggles they had before they went to medical school. What they had to fight to get to where they are today. They wanted me to be tough in a world that doesn’t allow us to succeed.”

I said, “Things aren’t that bad. I mean, we’ve come a long way since segregation.”

“True, but it doesn’t mean that racism doesn’t exist. The guys will tell you, hey it’s not her skin that makes her different from us. It’s something else. But underneath it all, they don’t even know what it is, because they’ve never had to deal with it. I’m a black girl in an all-white school full of rich kids. Even the poor ones are still a lot richer than what my parents grew up with. They can’t even take me back to their neighborhood. They just show me movies and photos of their past. How bad is that?”

I sat next to her and put my hand on hers. “Shit, that’s rough.”

She jerked my hand. “See, you’re doing it. The thing you do once in a while. I know you mean well, but please don’t do that poor-black-girl thing. It rubs me up the wrong way. I’m just telling you about the way things are, not so you’re sad and put your head to the side like you’re doing now.”

“I can’t win!” I said, throwing my hands up in the air. “Do you want me to listen and not feel shitty about the situation, or you want me to feel proud of it?”

“I want you to get dressed, come to my house, and I’ll show you the photos and we’ll watch movies so you can get acquainted with the topic. Sound like a deal?”

I nodded my head as I stood up. “Sure, I’m up for how to stop feeling white and privileged and get on with things in the real world. Brent told me that I lived in a bubble, and I keep fighting that feeling, the one that tells me he’s right, but as much as I fight it, I keep coming back to his words and realizing he’s right.”

“My parents didn’t want me to be raised worrying about leaving my house and dodging a bullet. Nor do I want for things. They give me money, and I spend it in the diner. I don’t go crazy and buy designer shit every second, and I study. Maybe I will go to med school and be a doctor like them, maybe I won’t. But I’ll be proud that their vision for me, and what they sacrificed to bring me up in the world, was the right move.”

I bend down to hug her.

“I’m so jealous that you have parents like that.”

She pushed me away.

“You should be, girl, because they are ten times more than your parents ever was to you. And you stink, girl. I hope you’re not opening your legs for them smelling like that.”

“Damn Tracey! Just give it to me gently, right?” She didn’t answer, so I jumped up and said, “Going to have a quick shower.”

“Quick one? You take your time. I’m in no hurry. Just make sure you scrub down there good.”

I ignored her and didn’t bother turning around to figure what she was talking about. I was having a fast learning curve in my life, what it was like to live outside the bubble, and I had to grow up in many ways in a very short time. Tracey was good for me, in more ways than one. She had opened my eyes, and it was good to help me grow up. I’d been living a lie for so long; now it was time to face the truth with open arms and stop shutting it out.