Chapter 62 Lost the strength
I could hardly walk, but I wouldn't allow anyone to help me. It wasn't pride or something else forcing me forward. It was that I wanted nothing to do with any of them. Saint abandoned me in that container, choosing to give others the responsibility for my care. I thought Lucas was my friend, but I was so very wrong. He watched me being strung up to die, cut multiple times, and returned to continue the torture. The alphas I'd spent my entire life focused on protecting and providing for stood idle while I was left in a dark hole to die.
We passed through the gates, and my gaze slid over the wolves that watched us with curiosity. After a moment, they turned, giving me their backs, albeit hesitantly. My heart clenched, knowing that whatever Saint was selling, they'd bought it. Turn your back on an alpha was a show of disrespect, saved for those who had betrayed the pack. Fuck them, too, then.
My attention shifted to Toralei, who watched me with horror-filled eyes. I could imagine how I looked. The short, white, silky nightgown was stained brown, with crimson patches from where fresh blood was soaking through. The thin material was ripped in multiple places, revealing the damage to my body. My feet were bare, covered only in the stockings I'd been wearing the day they'd marched me to the storage containers. They were stiff and sticky, covered in blood.
The gash in my head hadn't healed, and my hair was matted from lying be- side the dead, using the clothes they wore for warmth. The flesh of my arms was flayed open, revealing the layers of fatty tissue and muscle it had exposed.
Tears swam in Toralei's eyes, yet she didn't move from where she stood. I didn't need to know she would continue standing by me. She was my best friend and my beta. Chaos rushed toward me, his eyes widening with fear as someone caught him. He struggled against their form, but I didn't slow or stop my forward movement.
Saint had taken everything from me. He'd turned the pack against me, accusing me of heinous crimes without proof. He'd claimed me, forcing me to cling to an empty mating that held no meaning. I'd been hung up and left to die, like meat in the freezer. The only thing that remained was my inner strength and my pride. I'd be damned if he took that from me, too.
Inside the lodge, people turned toward me, staring at the dishevelment of my form before slowly turning their backs to me. No emotion escaped the mask I wore. No sign of pain slipped onto my face as I moved down the hallway, leav- ing a trail of blood and filth as I headed to my bedroom.
The moment I was inside, I turned, trying to close the door, but Saint shook his head. Both he and Eryx entered my room, watching as I backed away from them. I didn't speak, couldn't manage to get words out past the anger and hurt that hung heavily on my soul. My eyes rolled, and even that hurt to accomplish. "Start the shower, Eryx," Saint ordered, studying me. "You need to sit down.
You're losing too much blood."
I ignored him. Standing tall, I pushed my shoulders back in the stiff posi- tion in which I'd grown accustomed since being beaten. My chest rose and fell with short, quick breaths that didn't cause my body to scream in silent agony. I could hear the deep rattle in my chest, knowing I was getting close to the limit of endurance I'd learned to sustain.
"I didn't want you to hurt, Brae. I only intended for you to know what it was like to be locked in a box, waiting for someone to save you. I need you to under- stand that," Saint urged, searching my face to see if I'd grasped his meaning. "The water is warm," Eryx stated from the bathroom.
I moved toward the open doorway, entering the room to lean against the counter. Saint came in behind me, watching me struggle to remove the night- gown. Pain tore through my arms as I fought and struggled to remove the gar- ment that reeked of death and decay. My arm went limp, and I closed my eyes as a soft exhale rattled up from my lungs, escaping from my throat. Saint moved in behind me, flicking a knife open that made the air whoosh
from my lungs as my pupils dilated. He swallowed loudly, bringing it up to slice through the spaghetti straps that sat on my shoulders. It didn't drop to the floor, stuck to the wounds that covered my body. He hissed, slowly peeling it off be- fore turning me around, lowering his stare to where the panties had been cut open.
"What the hell?" Saint growled, his eyes flashing with rage before they met mine.
I didn't speak or even acknowledge him. I didn't need to tell him what Lucas had done to me because the cuts still covered my sex from where he'd re- turned, alone, using a knife on me. He hadn't raped me, but he hadn't left me untouched either.
"Tell me that isn't what I think it is," Eryx growled, his eyes turning dark with rage.
Saint swallowed, shaking visibly with anger. "Who did this, Braelyn?" he demanded, his tone filled thick with emotion.
I leaned over, ripping the garter away as a scream exploded from my lungs. Lucas had bragged about how stupid I was and how naive I'd been, never actu- ally knowing him. He boasted about how he'd put on the perfect show for every- one, including Carleigh, feigning shock and outrage at the things Saint had ac- cused me of doing. Lucas was proud to have forced my hand to kill his sister, using her and her child as fodder, helping Saint to turn the pack against me. He'd told me all about how he'd helped my father torture me. I'd never been wise to the fact it was Lucas wielding the knife when my father tired of slicing it into my flesh. I'd been foolish to think him a friend, but I'd been starved for companionship when Saint was sent away.
Lucas was the one guy I had counted on for strength, and he had been one of my tormentors all along, hiding his scent with pepper or bleach to keep me from knowing it was him. I'd begged and pleaded for him to stop inside the storage container, but he enjoyed giving pain in the worst imaginable way. Of course, Lucas had bragged about never taking it too far, but Saint had removed Fenrir's protection by mating with me. With the protection gone, Lucas was able to wield other things against me, and my entire nether region was a mass of cuts, proof that he'd enjoyed playing with me.
Eryx lowered to the floor, yanking the stockings down before lifting my foot to remove them. I pushed past Saint when Eryx freed me from the material, trembling violently as the heat from the spray touched my frozen flesh. A sob exploded from my chest, and I moved to the wall, pressing my forehead against it. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and closed my eyes as I hit the ground, crying out as my strength waned.