Chapter 198: live without him

A bell over the door chimed, and I was hit by the scent of spiced meats and fresh bread.

We placed our orders, sharing giggles and starting our catch-up with little snippets of small talk , the weather, the local news, and how we were feeling. There was no escaping the tension in Ricky's stare when we settled at the booth in the dark corner. No matter how hungry I was, I slowly picked at the bread of my sandwich as Ricky stared holes through me. I could feel his gaze burning into me, and I knew what he was thinking about.

"I love you, Ricky, but I can't really get into detail right now." A heavy exhale pushed from my lips, and my shoulders sagged. "I have been staying with someone while I recover, and he is very private."

"He?" Ricky's brows shot up, and he leaned forward. Reaching across the table, he grabbed my forearm and gingerly squeezed it. "A boyfriend?"

"God, no!" I scoffed, rolling my eyes. I took Ricky's hand on my arm and twined my fingers with his. "He is just helping me out right now. If it was anything serious, I would have told you."

"Alright, I will believe you for now, but I kinda doubt it." He clicked his teeth and rolled his eyes. "I just really wanted to see you after we found out you fell at that event. It was such a huge freaking deal. I was so worried about you. And when I told Devin, he got all weepy and wanted to bring you flowers, but you told us no!"

"I'm fine. My ankle is almost better already," I answered, then ran my hand through my hair before looking out the glass window. The sky was darkening as heavy clouds, pregnant with rain, rolled over the city. It would storm by the end of the day.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see you sooner, and apologize to Devin for me too. I won't be staying with my, huh, friend for too much longer. It was just my ankle and the mild concussion, but I was advised not to be alone." All this lying was making me feel icky.

"I get it, babes, I really do. I have just missed you. And like, they gave your spot to Bethany!" Hearing him tell me that made me cringe. "Her cloven hooves have been stepping all over my delicate toes for two weeks now, Elena!"

It was hard not to laugh at the pitiful pout Ricky was flashing. I imagined that pout got him anything he wanted when it was directed at Devin. "Your poor toes," I teased. "We’ll have to get you some new toes by the time I’m back in the studio. Maybe new feet altogether."

"It better be sooner than later, or I will be laid up right alongside you." He let go of my hands to cross his arms over his chest. Leaning back against the worn red booth, Ricky's eyes scanned the storm clouds rolling in, and his lip curled in disgust.

"Two more weeks and then I'm back in the studio. I have an entire list of ankle exercises I have to do daily, so I'm working on it." There weren't any words for how I missed Ricky, but he would probably know how I did feel.

"That's good to hear, and I'm glad you're alright. That must have been scary, having someone push you down a flight of marble stairs like that." His face fell, and he skirted his fingers along the edge of the table.

"Can you tell me what really happened?"

"It was an accident," I lied again. "There was an open bar, and the drinks were poured with a heavy hand. Just a stupid mistake." I went on, but I wasn't thinking about being pushed down those stairs. Instead, my mind went back to those memories in the dark alcove with Andrey and the clamps he made me wear under my dress.

It was the wrong time to have those thoughts, but I was pressing my legs together under the table, regardless.

"That's still terrible. We're too close to the end of the season to lose the prima like this. At least you'll be back in time for the last show, and you’ll be better than ever." Ricky squirmed in his seat, too full of excitement to contain himself.

"Well, I wouldn't miss the last show for the end of the world. Nothing will keep me from being on the stage that night." That was a promise I was making to myself and one I was determined to keep.

"Love hearing that," Ricky picked at the bread on his sandwich. "Because honestly, we need Elena Hayes in the lead role. With the critics and sponsors that will be there, it will hurt us if Bethany is the Odette clomping across the stage."

"Leave poor Bethany alone! She's my understudy for a reason. She has earned it. Let her have the center stage for a few weeks," I uttered with my eyes narrowed at him.

"Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits. But there will never be another Swan Queen for me, and there will never be another prima in this city quite like Elena Hayes" Both of his hands swept across the table and took mine.

I jerked at the sudden movement and the serious change in Ricky's voice. "Promise me that you’re okay? Not as your fellow dancer, but as your friend."

"Of course, Ricky," I breathed out, feeling the steady drum of my heartbeat.

"I will always be," I added.

No matter what happens at the end of the next six weeks, I will still be okay. I had to be, because Ricky was right. The ballet needed me, and I needed it too. Dancing was what I worked hard for my entire life, and a broken heart wouldn't take that away from me. I would still be happy, dance as the prima ballerina ,  even without Andrey.

Without Andrey?

I didn’t know whether that was true.