Chapter 173: tell me the whole truth

Some part of me stung to imagine leaving papa here. My lip trembled as I thought about Andrey's offer. There were some conflicts between us but I wasn't going to reject it.

I had no idea that behind his calm expression, the Alpha part of him paced restlessly beneath his skin, struggling to contain instincts I would never understand.

"Yeah I think I would like that", The corner of my lip twitched for him, but I just couldn't manage a smile for him right now.

A faint, almost inaudible exhale left Andrey, the kind that came from a man used to holding more than human strength inside him.

Andrey's shoulders sagged with relief. His hand jerked forward before stopping to curl into the fist against his side. I itched to reach out and take his hand , but I couldn't scratch that right now. I wasn't ready.

"Thank you", Andrey stepped closer, once again holding the umbrella above me. "I have the car waiting. It will be nice and warm in there; and dry", He spoke.

There was something about the way he shielded me, something protective that went beyond normal human attention. But I chalked it up to kindness, nothing more.

I felt inwardly happy when I heard his words. I had been planning on taking a cab home, so the promise of a warm car ride to dinner was so amazing.

"That sounds nice", We shared another long glance before I broke eye contact and looked at the freshly turned earth bunny feet.

His gaze lingered a moment longer than mine, deep and searching, his pupils flickering in a way I would’ve missed if I wasn’t looking away.

As I walked to the car, I slowly remembered what my papa told me.

Be happy while you can

Even if I wouldn't be happy at this very moment, I wanted to find my happiness. When I glanced up at Andrey as he opened the car door, I wondered whether he was my happiness.

He stood a little too still, a little too aware but I never felt afraid of him.

ANDREY'S POV>

I had Antonio take us to a small hole in the wall restaurant. Not one owned by the Volkov family or one that I had any connection to at all. We entered something, just homey and something local that I hoped Elena would enjoy.

My wolf hated being far from territory, but tonight wasn’t about territory. It was about her. Only her.

It was hard on the car ride not to hold her hand or reach out and tuck the stray golden hair behind her ear. Everything within me yearned to touch her, to hold her. Especially with the sorrows deep in the pools of her eyes, making my desire to comfort her swell into a tsunami. My only coping mechanism was clenching my fists until they were bone white.

The wolf inside me clawed for release, urging me to close the distance, to claim, to soothe, but I kept the beast leashed with iron restraint.

Seeing her, being within reaching distance and not touching her, holding her was a torture. But she was in a delicate state right now and I was prudent. I respected that. If space is what Elena needed, surely I could give her that.

Even if every instinct in my bloodline screamed the opposite.

There was heavy tension pressing on my senses, even as we sat at our table, in the almost completely vacant dinner. They gave us a back table near the window, and i wondered if the reason was the mascara tear stains on Elena's face.

Elena took in the faded burnt orange walls and the green booths. I didn't speak as her crystal clear eyes looked over the mural of 50s style cars next to us . The corner of her lip twitched up but it wasn't a smile, just a small sign that perhaps she was enjoying the ambience of the dinner.

"Elena, I'm sorry for your loss", I know I already said it, but I had to break the tension somehow. It was the only thing I could think to say at first.

"I .... Know.. thank you Andrey", She wouldn't meet my eye directly. She sniffled and pulled a tissue from her purse to wipe the face, cleaning the smudged make up. The red rimming her eyes when she cried always made her crystal blue eyes pop. It was hard to look away from her.

Her scent, tinged with grief, made my wolf whine inside me, a sound no one else could hear.

"Why didn't you tell me about it before", I wanted to know everything about her and be there for her.

"Andrey. why would I?", She finally met my gaze. "Our relationship was because of a contract. What would it have mattered?", She added.

"It would have mattered to me. No matter what we started as. I hate that you felt you had to carry that burden alone", The tone of my voice was desperate, as if pleading with her.

My voice dropped in my alpha tone and I forced myself back before she sensed something was off.

Instead of replying, she gnawed on her bottom lip. When she pinched her brows, i wanted to poke the crease of worry away.

When i got a call from Antonio, I knew about what happened. I knew it, Elena had to love her grandfather because he was the one who raised her. I couldn't blame her now for running away from me that night.

"I'm sure you loved him very much.... Again I'm sorry", I couldn't keep my hands to myself any longer and I reached across the table to hold her hand. "Will you tell me about him?",.

My palm dwarfed hers, warm and steady, a touch that instinctively soothed even without her knowing why.

At first she flinched back, almost enough to pull her hand from mine. But I could feel her hand releasing the tension while we shared the contact. My hands were made to hold her, and I wanted her to let me do that for her right now. To comfort her in any small way, I could when she needed it.

"You want me to tell you about my papa?", She glanced at me from those watery blue eyes under her dark lashes and I had to hold my breath. "Yes. Anything you want to tell me. I'm here for you and I'm listening", My thumb brushed the back of her knuckles and Elena released a shuddering exhale.

"He...... He loved music. Papa taught himself how to play s guitar when he was still young. Some weekends he would sit in the backyards with me strumming to some tune he made up, and I would dance. Grandma would make cookies and bring them to us. She would water her flowers as papa sang and I practiced ballet", Elena sniffled and her fingers squeezed mine as her emotions flowed through her.

"He loved old music cars, and we would go to car shows on weekends whenever they were in our town", A tear slipped from her eye, and she starred at the car mural on the wall.

"If I had a car trouble after learning to drive back when I had a car, he was always there to help me fix it. I had to sell the car to help me pay the bills when I moved to the city", Her shoulders sagged as she sank into the booth's cushions. Silence fell between us as she stayed in her memories, and I absorbed this new information on her and her life growing up.

Though something caught my attention in her last statement. She had a car but sold it to pay bills,

It was the debt she told me about if I wasn't wrong.

I clenched my jaw, already planning how to fix that, quietly, without scaring her, without revealing the part of me she could never know.