Chapter 15: Chapter Fifteen

Mr Dubens drove me home that night. We pulled up in his car outside my house on the driveway. He switched the engine off and the car slowly died down. "Get your stuff and I'll open the boot for you to put it in, alright?" He instructed as he turned his body towards me, and I nodded firmly. "Yes."

Quickly I hopped out of the car, leaving the door open behind me and hurriedly unlocked the front door. I was fast in bolting up the stairs and tearing all my drawers open, chucking every bit of clothing, make-up, childhood stuff and all the rest of it in my suitcase. It took one suitcase and two of my bags to fit all my stuff into. I didn't have a major amount of stuff as I had lived on my own for around five years now so there was much else, I had collected over those years. I hadn't even been shopping to buy any new clothes!

I dragged my bags and suitcase down the stairs, leaving every clatter, bump and bash sounds behind me as my suitcase met every step of the staircase. I slammed the front door closed and didn't bother to lock it, I just left the door keys on the door mat. I took in a deep breath and turned my back. This was going to be the last to I saw this house. It chocked me because I had spent my whole life growing up under that roof. It was my own home; my own place and I was expected to leave it!? The fault made tears roll down from the corners of my eyes and I quickly wiped them away before Mr Dubens got the chance to notice.

I faced Mr Dubens as he stood by his car behind the opened-up boot, waiting for me to lob my stuff in. He stood there, a small smile on his face and his hands buried in his trouser pockets. A hint of sadness and sympathy shone in his eyes and I found it hard to ignore. It was almost like a pleading look and some part of me liked it. Someone cared. It's not as if he wouldn't do all of this for me if he didn't.

"You are chucking it in or what?" He asked as he tilted his head like an adorable, waiting puppy. His smile widened and I walked round him to reach into the boot. I chucked my suitcase and two bags in; he was hesitant in shutting it when he noticed the luggage, I had chucked in. "Is that all you've got?" He asked in a surprised tone, his eyes running over my suitcase. I smirked, "I don't have much, I've spent five years on my own. There wasn't many clothes or memories to pack away." His lips parted but his eyes showed understanding. He knew what I meant, and he gave me a quick nod before shutting the boot.

We both walked around each side of the car and jumped back in. Once we were in Mr Dubens turned the car key and the car sprang to life. "Right. Here we go." He murmured and shot me a sneaky glance, as if to check I was still alive or something. I smiled at him in reassurance when really, I didn't feel any myself. I was full of insecurity and self-consciousness. If only I knew that then, at the time. It was him who made me aware of that, of my own insecurities. He was who I relied on to be able to have trust in myself and find out who I am as a person.

It was a long drive. Mr Dubens had already warned me he lived quite long way away. Not incredibly far away but not within the same area as the school either. As we drove, I just sat still, my thighs pressed together and my lips tight in a straight line. I was usually the first one to break the silence, but I didn't really have a clue what I was supposed to say. Instead, it was Mr Dubens who spoke up.

"So, what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"When your parents..." He paused, he was hesitant in using the word, 'died'. Ha! As of that bothered me. If I had no problem in saying it, he sure as hell shouldn't. I sighed tiredly, "It's alright, you can say it."

"When they died...how did you...cope?" He finished carefully. I frowned as I thought back to that day. "It was terrible at first. I screamed every night, I couldn't cope. I wouldn't believe they were gone. Ms. Harrison had lied to the police and told them she'd take care of me. I was allowed to stay in that. House and Ms. Harrison would occasionally bring me bits and bobs. Food and that. I wasn't the same though."

I took a deep breath as I could tell Mr Dubens had noticed my anxiety, "Are you ok?" His worried eyes glued on my face. "Y-yeah. I just...It’s not something I talk about." I breathed deeply and he nodded. "Yeah. It doesn't seem like something you shout above the roof tops about." I smiled in humour he could be quite funny at times even though he was being serious about what he was saying.

It was another few metres down the road and we came to a posh road. Mr Dubens had just pulled out from the motor way and turned a corner to a neighbourhood which led us down a really posh road. Every house was so glamorous, I couldn't explain how they looked. They were so high standard. If he lives in a posh road like this, I wonder what sort of family he must come from! Fuck, I dread to think. And there was me, a homeless dog to die for.

He turned the car and began to reverse into a particular house. I sat still, my thighs pressed firmly together, my anxiety kicking in again. Deep breaths Alice. It was so weird being taken away from my home, I hadn't known myself to be so anxious. Mr Dubens reversed into the driveway and once he was done and pulled the key out of the engine, the car slowly dying down. The engine stopped and suddenly we had buried ourselves in painful silence. I glanced out the window, the house was so...nice!

"You ok?" I heard his voice close to my ear and his hand was placed on my shoulder. I nodded stiffly and he quickly pulled his hand away, leaving the tips of his fingertips slightly run down against my back. He climbed out of the car and I hopped out of the passenger seat. I shut the door as I turned towards the house. It was posh, but not as posh as the other houses. His looked more approachable and average in a way. The roof was a dark black, the window was like a mansion’s windows. It was such a huge house; I couldn't believe it.

Mr Dubens opened the boot and carried my luggage to the front door. His front door was a dark blue just like the roof, the handle a glowing silver which didn't have one single scratch on it. Was this house brand new, because it looked as if it had been planted by pixies? The thought made my mind think of a magical kingdom far, far away. The neighbour was so full of royalty almost.

"You coming in?" He asked and I suddenly realised I was staring, mostly him. I big my lip and nodded, stepping in. He shut the front door behind me and latex my luggage down on the floor beside the door and a hallway table. Once he leaned up in a split second our eyes met, and a hint of a smile passed his lips but I did well go hide it. He seemed quite serious at times as if he was putting as much distance between the two of us as he could. He walked through a door and I followed him. The door led to a large room with about six sofas and a large glass table which was completely see-through.

Mr Dubens didn't give it second look, but it was like luxury to me. The walls were plain white, the sofas a crimson red and the glass table was completely only glass. You almost couldn't see it, but because of the shine and the reflective surface it was noticeable. Wow, this was all so weird! There was a stereo in the corner and a fireplace at the far end of the room which you noticed as soon as you walked in. It wasn't on right now though, obviously. I wouldn't find it very impressive if he had left it on all day.

Mr Dubens walked straight threw the room, not even acknowledging any of it and made his way through another room. I thought it was the kitchen, but I was wrong. When he unlocked the door, it looked more like a private room or something. I wasn't sure. I didn't look over at me though, he stepped in and took out a book from a shelf. I walked towards the doorway and peeked in. There was a large glass desk just like the one in the front room, but with a laptop and a lamp on it. There were four bookshelves which covered the entire opposite wall. Filled with books! Book, books and more books!

The floor was pure black, then carpet. "This is my study room." He explained before I even had to ask. I felt my mouth automatically form into an 'O' shape. "Looks cool." I smiled softly and he glanced towards me with a smirk, "I spend most of my life in here."

"Seriously?" My eyebrows raised and he grinned, "Oh, yes. That's where the teacher gene comes from." He turned back towards the bookcase and flipped open a green book he had picked out. It had 'Poems of Heartful' written on the front in bold gold lettering. He turned towards me and held it out to me.

I looked at the book and then back up to him. I shot him a confused look before thinking about taking it. I mean, what was it? My brain hadn't clicked. He realised my confusion and tilted his head like he always did, "For your literature in poetry." He murmured softly with a half-smile. I rolled my eyes and took it from him. "And why would I want this?"

"Please, just read it Miss Copper. You'll find it interesting,"

I balanced it out in my hand as I examined it with a weird expression built on my face. "You actually think I am gonna read this?"

"I know you will." He laughed and walked out of his study passing me on the way as my head leant against the doorway. "What makes you think that?" I smirked, turning around as my eyes followed him out into the front room where the sofas were.

"I don't think. I know."

"But...why?"

He sighed and shrugged his jacket off, leaving him in only a plane white button up top. "Because I'm going to make sure you do." He set the jacket over the back of one of the red sofas and turned round to face me. Our eyes met and I dragged me away by glancing down at the book in my hand. "And this is such a big deal because?"

"I told you. I promised your Head of year I would get your grades up. That book is the first step to doing it." He looked down at my hand which held the book. “...and I know you'll enjoy reading it." He added in a whisper.

"Ok. Fine, I'll try." I breathed and his face broke out into a grin.

"Do you want anything? Drink...food?" He asked suggestively as he leant against the back of the sofa, his eyes staring deep into mine. I licked my lips as I let my mind wander. I did feel really thirsty, but I wasn't sure what for. "I do feel really thirsty." I admitted sheepishly. He smiled and tilted his head, "I've got a range of drinks. Do you like fizzy? Pepsi, coke, tango, sprite..." He sang out his list of suggestions and I laughed.

"Beer?" I asked. Mr Dubens' eyes widened, "I'm not giving you alcohol, Alice." He spoke in a firm and strict voice.

I shrugged as if it was no big deal. "That's all I drink, Sir."

"I told you, call me Ian. And what do you mean, that's all you drink?"

"I've been drinking alcohol for years. It's the only thing I like."

"Why?"

"I... it’s just to...get rid of the pain...I guess."

He shot me a look of sympathy and leaned closer to me, "What pain, Alice? What's making you do it? Is it your parents, is that it?" I gave a slow nod. "What do you expect me to say? I'm wrecked. That's it." He shook his head as his eyes filled with sympathy. "You're not wrecked. You're just confused. You were abandoned as a little girl, that's all this is. You are looking for the two people who are no longer in your life. You've lost two people who were so precious to you."

I scoffed, "They weren't precious."

"What do you mean?" He asked in a confused voice. I shrugged, "They were arseholes."

"What? They were your parents." He stated in a surprised tone. "I know. They didn't want me though. They..."

"What?"

"They took no notice of me. I was a mistake."

"A mistake?"

"It was a one-night stand." I mumbled and turned away to walk out of the room, but he was too quick. I felt him grab my wrist and pull me back. I refused to look at him, my eyes glued to the ground. "Tell me about it?" He whispered and I felt the tip of his fingertips stroke my cheek. I really did want to know; he really did want to help. I felt an extraordinary sense of warmth wash through me and I felt safe.