Chapter 49 DEATH-LESS
ERICA’S POV
My pupils dilated at his words.
First love.
The phrase rang in my ears like a wrong note. The emotions I had bottled up burst loose, flooding my chest. I froze then laughed.
“How could she be your first love?” I said, cackling. “Did I mishear?”
But his stare… it was too intense. Too serious.
My laughter died instantly.
Something crashed into me like a revelation.
His Soul. First love.
I pulled away from his grip. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I shoved my trembling hands behind me, my fists clenched.
“Yes,” I said, inhaling sharply. I couldn’t let myself unravel.
His gaze slid away from me like I was nothing, like a pest.
And it hurt. Why did I want him to badly know I'm Celina,I want to scream it at him. Ask him why he couldn't recognize me, but it hung in my throats.
Why?
My thoughts dragged me back ten years.
(CLASSROOM—TEN YEARS AGO)
“Come on,” I said, shaking his arm. “There’s no way you don’t have a crush. A first love. Tell us.”
Aaron refused to meet my eyes. “I really don’t,” he muttered.
Carter and Giselle only stared at right, their eyes said otherwise, like they knew who he was crushing on.
I let go of his hand and scoffed. “No way. Your heart has never raced for someone? Never frozen just seeing her?”
“Nerds don’t get who they want anyway,” he said quietly.
"True, Celina look at him wo would love him?" Carter spat, eyeing Aaron from head to toe, with a mocking sneer tugged on his lips.
"Don't say such, she might like him back" I shot at Carter.
"Tsk. You are so naive Celina, he's saying the plain truth though. Aaron is just...here"
I sighed and placed my hands on his shoulders.
“Look at me.”
He lifted his head slowly, cheeks flushed.
“Who told you that?” I snapped. “Tell me, I will beat them up for ruining your self-esteem.” I said but my gaze focused on Giselle and Carter, and they rolled their eyes at my childishness
He hesitated. “She likes someone else.” I froze, watching as Carter gave me the I-told-you-so look.
Staring at Aaron sad face, my tummy churned in discomfort.
My mouth fell open. “Steal her,” I declared.
“What?” he whispered.
“She’s not in a relationship. Make her notice you.”
The hope that settles in his eyes died as Giselle chuckled in mockery. His blue eyes darkened.
“She’s already deep into him. I don’t stand a chance.” He paused. “And if I try… she might hate me.”
My lips parted to reject his words, but nothing escaped.
Then he said softly, “Celina… I want her to be happy. Even if it hurts me. I just want her to smile.”
I froze.
It felt… too sincere.
“You’re not in love with me, right?” I asked quietly.
His eyes widened in panic. “Of course not. How could I?”
My eyes rested calmly, but that second Carter hands circled around my waist, pecking my lips softly
I laughed. “Good. My heart belongs to Carter anyway.”
PRESENT
Snap.
His fingers snapped in front of my face, pulling me out of my trance.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
My gaze dropped to the floor. That revelation—It was too much.
I had rejected him in the most oblivious way possible.
“I didn’t mean..” My words cut off.
What did it matter? The past was gone. But ignoring his feelings, that burned.
My chest tightened. I pressed my hand against it.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“A breathing exercise,” I whispered. “It makes my heart race less.”
He said nothing.
I heard him step back, then sit down.
Now I understood.
He never confessed. He blamed himself for letting me fall into Carter’s hands. For failing to protect me.
Those dark circles under his eyes. They weren’t from sleepless nights alone.
My lips parted, but pain surged through my chest. I groaned and dropped to my knees.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
The pain was unbearable. Maybe this is punishment, I thought. For all the pain I caused him.
If I had loved Aaron back then…Would our lives be different now?
My vision blurred, yet I saw fear flash across his face.
Why did he care?
His hands wrapped around mine, gentle like I was something fragile.
I will make it up to him. Those nightmares I would eradicate them, that anger. I knew he feels worthless those eyes showed there was more to his suffering than Celina. Was I too bet on having Carter I didn't notice his pain.
Or did I notice but wanted to ignore it.
Then it hit me.
“Is this how you act after ruining someone’s life?” The memory echoed. It was his voice. He had screamed at Carter and Giselle when I disappeared.
He was the one who protected me. The one who tried to stop me from ending everything.
He blamed himself every day. My lashes fluttered shut.
I felt drowsy.
But his palm tapped my cheek gently. “Don’t you dare close your eyes, little bee.”
My lips parted weakly.
“If you let the grim reaper take you,” he said fiercely, “I’ll follow you to hell and drag you back.”
He smiled nice, like rocks soaked in rain and water, he smelled edible, made me want to suck my lips around his neck.
Yes! I knew that for sure. His words alone gave me strength, a fighting force
I smiled faintly and squeezed his hand. “Aa
ron,” I murmured, “did you forget something?”
He frowned.
A soft laugh escaped me. “My name is Erica,” I said slowly.
“You should remember, I’m death-less.”