Chapter 15 Unexpected Feeling

I certainly lost it. I never once expected to see him here in Europe. I mean, Europe? Miles away from LA, for freaking sake! As much as I would like to move on from him and completely forget him for good, life began to be having its time of the month and slap me on my face saying, “you can’t hide from it, b@tch.”

“You have to look brave in front of him, Ms. Hernandez.”

I jerk in surprise when I heard Mr. Dawson’s voice behind me. His hands in his pocket, casually standing a few feet away from me with Bill, Miller and Rob standing away from us pretending to be unaware of the tension around us.

“Sorry?”

“You must learn how to hide your feelings in front of him.”

Mr. Dawson is now standing beside me over the railings with an unexplained expression on his face. He is looking over the horizon like he is waiting for me to say something against his words.

“What do you mean?” I want him to say it, that he knew the man who broke me, who made me the way I am today, that he knew I don’t want to see him but he still brought me here to Europe to meet him. But I would prefer if he would say he doesn’t have any single idea about it.

Instead of saving himself, he remained silent. This is the reason why I don’t want to reveal myself to this man. It’s as if he is studying your words, actions, and your background. He is using his power to the extent the world is no longer hiding its secrets. That’s Mr. Dawson. He knows everything.

“Sorry but I have to say this. I am not like you Mr. Dawson. I am not good at hiding what I feel when the man who broke you… the man who cheated on me and left me for someone else is right in front of me staring at me, smiling at me like what he did is just nothing. How am I supposed to react?”

I lost control with my tears that are now streaming down my face and probably some snoot on my nose. Visions blurry to the man who stood before me. A man so heartless.

I felt like the ground caved in and I am in no way to escape from it now. I have tried my best to forget Patrick, but in just one single blow, my efforts came to waste.

“It’s not what you think.”

“Then prove me wrong, Mr. Dawson. Prove me wrong that you have no idea who Patrick Sullivan is, in the first place.”

Frick you Betty. You are not supposed to sound like a frog croaking. It’s just that I can’t contain my emotions right now. I don’t know what to feel. All I know is I was betrayed by my own boss. Someone whom I trusted with my secrets.

“Patrick Sullivan is my friend, Ms. Hernandez. His family is one of my biggest investors. It’s not until this morning, I decided to do a little background check. I’m sorry, but I have to close this deal first. I was also surprised when I found out he is the representative of his family. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m sorry.”

A hand caressed my face wiping the tears away from my cheeks. The proximity with his warmth radiating off from his body gives off comfort to my now weak and sullen state. This is some kind of a feeling I don’t want to shake off despite the anger I feel for Mr. Dawson. I want to be angry with this man, but my mind is saying the opposite. It’s not Mr. Dawson who betrayed me. It’s my own volition and pretending I am okay, and have moved on. Where in fact, I am not. I betrayed myself.

“Come here.”

With his hands on my cheek, I am suddenly wrapped in a long embrace that instantly calmed me. Not long after a cold breeze kissed my cheeks once again in the absence of his hands. I suddenly feel like going home and lock myself in my room like how I used to do whenever I feel sad. Shut me out of everything causing me pain.

"Stop crying."

“I want to go home.”

Staring at me with eyes full of understanding, Mr. Dawson remains calm while heaving a sigh. I can tell he is also contemplating whether to ask more questions about my past but just like how the wind blows on us, lets it all fly with the wind instead.

“Okay. Let’s go home.”

Someday I will find the courage to face it, to face Patrick, and face my biggest fear-rejection. I don’t want to feel it again so I have to end it as soon as possible. I don’t want any trace of it in my life and I don’t want to be scared when I hear the word, Patrick.

“Ms. Hernandez.”

I looked at Mr. Dawson and realized he had been staring at me for so long. We were situated in the backseat of his car with Rob driving us to the airport. Bill and Miller tailing before us in a black SUV. I feel so sad for being this emotional in front of him, but I just can’t help myself from feeling this way. It’s like the thought of Pat—I mean, Ricky drained the energy from my whole body.

“I’m sorry, sir. I shouldn’t have left you at the meeting. It was so unprofessional. I was j—just shocked when I saw him. By the way, how’s the meeting?”

He did not answer but instead handed me a handkerchief. Hands suspended on mid-air, he is waiting for me to accept it not until I felt teardrops on my skirt. It never dawned on me that I am already crying. Again.

“What the heck." I chuckled realizing I am crying once again. My mind is saying to stop, but my eyes always betray me at times like this.

Frustrated by how this day came up, what makes it more frustrating is I never heard a word from Mr. Dawson until we landed back in LA. He probably felt bad for what happened, and somehow blamed himself for it. I can tell by how his eyebrows were drawn together and he never once looks me in the eye like he used to. We parted our ways and received a text from him to have a rest tomorrow and don’t show up in the office. Since when this man began to be understanding.

So here I am practically lounging on my sofa in my pajamas and one of my largest shirts saying F*ck My Life and coffee on my right hand. I freaking hate what happened yesterday. My most embarrassing moment, next to when Patrick cheated on me.

Be easy on yourself, Betty. You wouldn’t want to go back to the days you literally shut yourself from everyone. You just got back on your feet, calm down. Forget him. Forget that you saw him yesterday.

“Uuuungh! How am I supposed to forget I saw him?!”

Literally just lounging, eating, and making the day most of it. Junk foods were scattered all over the floor, socks over the sofa, television playing Love Island, with my ugliest yellow-green wool blanket over me.

“I hope tomorrow, I will not remember yesterday and today’s event ever happened. Please!” Then I passed out. The next thing I know, it’s already eight in the evening, with my stomach grumbling and my feet dangling over the sofa that now felt so cold.

“Ah, I’m hungry.”

Crawling my way to the dragon’s lair, I mean my kitchen, rummaging my refrigerator I just literally no stock of food even just a bottle of water. I forgot I just came home from Europe.

“I’m hungry but I don’t want to go out and buy food. What to do?”

Being the lazy I am, I decided to just crawl back to the couch and sleep my hunger away for good. I am caught up with my current state that I forgot I still have a life to live. It looks like I almost forgot I have a lot to do. I have to be in the office tomorrow and I never thought Patrick still has this effect on me until this time. Even when I don’t see him, he can still make my life miserable. Fck you Patrick Sullivan.

As usual, I am running late cause I overslept like a sloth and forgot to set my alarm. I hope Mr. Dawson will understand my situation right now.

“What is wrong with you, Betty? I thought you already moved on. Stop thinking about it, and go to work.”

Who would have thought I managed to dress up for work in just ten minutes. There had been no problem driving around with my car with me. Yes, I have made up my mind. I will be happy in the arms of my car from now on. My Black Audi. My Ryan. I must be crazy for naming my car, Ryan.

“Good morning, Elizabeth.” I greeted her weakly with counted steps to the elevator but I was surprised when she grabbed my arm and dragged me over the reception counter.

“What are you doing?”

“I will be the one to ask you that. What are you doing here?” she asked in a low voice making it more suspicious that something is literally wrong here in the office while I am gone.

“Why? What happened?”

“Please make it a habit reading my texts next time okay? Take a look at this.”

She showed me her phone that contains a lot of pictures of me and Mr. Dawson at Europe. And it’s all over the internet. Pictures of us at the restaurant, inside the car, me laughing at some jokes, Mr. Dawson putting his jacket over me, looking at me with a smile on his eyes, pictures of us going inside the hotel.

“W--What is this?” Blood drained out of my system. Why do we have a lot of pictures on the internet? What is the meaning of all of this?

“Betty, what shocks me is this..” Elizabeth shows me the content of the article in bold letters, ‘The woman behind Mr. Thomas Dawson’s divorce.’

“No, that is not true.”

“Of course, I know that’s not true. But what bothers me the most is the company. Its reputation. The divorce itself has been disastrous that we almost lost some of our investors. What should we do?”

Worry etched on her face making me more agitated whether to proceed to my office or lurk in my room back to my safest place.

“Ms. Hernandez.”

I jerk in surprise with Mr. Dawson standing by the reception counter with his famous blank expression. Elizabeth slightly pushing me forward as we both stand in front of emotionless Thomas Dawson.

“Mr. Dawson…”

“In my office. Right now.”

A deep sigh escaped from my mouth, thinking what could be the reason why he wants to see me. Of course, it's all about the article.

“Wait, why am I so nervous? It’s not that I did something wrong.”

Knocking my way to the devil’s lair, I stepped inside and instantly felt the heaviness of the atmosphere. He is standing with his hands in his pocket looking over his enormous glass window. The emotionless Mr. Dawson is being replaced with a worried and confused-looking man.

“Mr. Dawson?”

He is pacing back and forth scratching his nape before he came charging towards me. I never dared to move despite him being a few feet away from my face. What is happening? What did I do wrong? I suddenly wanted to go home. Oh please, I want to go home.

“What? What’s wrong?”

Panic is on my voice when I realized he is now only a few millimeters away from me. I mean, what is he doing? He could just say whatever he wants to say. There’s no need to invade my personal space, you know.

“Are you okay?”

Really? He is asking me if I’m okay. Of course not, I’m not okay. How can someone be okay when I saw my freaking ex-boyfriend and then now I’m all over the internet?

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. I know why you’re asking me that, Mr. Dawson. I saw the article. My face is all over the internet. I should be mad but I guess there’s nothing I can do about it. Time will forget it, so as the people.”

I grew weaker and weaker with how life treated me. Why am I so unlucky this month? I have read my horoscope saying Luck is on my side and I will find true love. The luck my foot. True love? I will kill whoever wrote those articles.

“But that doesn’t mean I will remain silent. I have to release a statement.” He is serious with fire in his eyes.

“I just can’t let those people mess with you, Ms. Hernandez.”

“Eh?”

“I mean, no one can mess the people who have been working for me. It feels like you’re now part of my responsibility. Yes, you’re now my responsibility.”

“Eh?! What are you—”

“You don’t have to report here in the office for the meantime. I’ll call Robert to drive you home.”

“No, I—mean, wait a minute. I’m okay, I swear! I don’t want to go home. I..”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I already told you, Mr. Dawson, I’m okay. I can handle myself. Well, I’ll try to be okay. Just focus on—on the company, sir.”

He must’ve understood that I don’t want to talk more about it so he just nodded while squinting his eyes at me.

“Okay. Just tell me if you’re in trouble.”